hey, very new to this subreddit and posting in general, i was also new to sex work, but i've been experiencing a lot of emotions after collabing with a friend for the first time a couple months ago and events that followed. there's a lot that goes into it, so i will try to keep it as short as i can, but basically,
i am trying to figure out if actions from my past friend is just boundary crossing that i'm taking too deep, or if she may have done something wrong, as far as using coercion to perform sexual acts with me,
i was a solo creator (f^nsly and twitter/x) and had no irls that were doing similar work, until one day someone dmed me saying they lived in my city, they seemed pretty cool and i chatted with them, eventually meeting up and becoming friends.
i was a bit uncomfy at times, for example they would take nudes/make porn in my bathroom and post them without my consent, would be otp with their toxic abusive partner around me while they screamed, fought, or worse (going as far as s/h), or would make jokes (about cheating, abuse, etc.), but i hadn't had friends in a long while, so i thought that was normal, especially between two sw friends
eventually they ask me to collab, and after talking to my partner about it, i agreed and thought it'd be fun and good for my platform. the weird thing is though, after we get all ready to film, their boyfriend tells us we can only collab if he can watch. i'm a lesbian, and have no interest in men, and i thought it was solely a safety thing for him, so i hesitantly agreed mainly just wanting to get it over with. we proceeded to film ourselves having sex while their phone was propped up on facetime showing us to their bf.
we did agree at this time that we would work out a way that our full length videos that they post on their platforms, i would get paid in some way, but we never made clear plans, and that was my bad i guess. i never got any payment, (and the videos are still up and used. )
weeks go on with only light collabs, boyfriend still always on facetime watching us, and some weird comments here and there, like possible flirting with me from both of them, but i'm also autistic and struggle heavily with social cues.
i will make it clear now, that i am in a monogamous relationship and am very open about that. i would never cheat on my partner and find actual cheating disgusting, and i made that Crystal clear to my friends.
eventually, one day i'm at their house and their boyfriend, of course, is on facetime. they're visciously texting eachother giggling and whispering on the phone, while i'm sitting in the corner. then, i get a text from my friend, despite being in the same room as them.
to shorten it, they ask me to do sexual acts with them on the phone while their boyfriend watches. i tell them no, everything i do is for business, and i have a partner. they proceed to tell me so what, my partner will never find out, it's nothing i haven't done before, etcetc. both of them continuously beg me, bringing up the fact that we've collabed and he's watched so it's no big deal, it's the same thing with only one camera.
this friendship has completely ruined my relationship with sex work and honestly a lot in general. i am no longer active on any platform they followed me on, i get nauseous thinking about what happened, whenever they text/call me (i haven't replied in months) i have panic attacks, it's becoming debilitating,
but what really kills me is, what if all the times we collabed, it wasn't really just a collab? the boyfriend always watched. they ended up both having heavy heavy cheating kinks. they kept telling me i've done it before. have i really? is what i did equal to simply having sex off camera, is that how they perceived it? is that normal for a collab? are all my feelings justified?
i guess my final question, if you've made it this far is: is this a situation where a friend just crossed some boundaries, or is this a possible sexual deception?