r/SexWorkers

Looking for advice from sex workers, especially anyone who has navigated sex work while in a relationship.

My partner is considering going back into sex work. I’m not against sex work, and I want to respect their autonomy, but I’m nervous about a few things.
They’ve told me they feel like they need to get extremely drunk to be able to do the work. They aren’t an addict, but the fact that they feel they need to be heavily intoxicated makes me really concerned about their safety. I want to ask what kind of safety plan they’d have, without coming across as controlling.

I’m also nervous about how it could affect our relationship, especially if they have clients who want to see them frequently. I’m worried about our quality time and relationship dynamic changing. Is that something you can realistically plan for, or is it more of a “you won’t know until you’re doing it” situation?
We’ve also talked about potentially seeing clients together. I’m a trans man, and my partner has suggested that I present as a masc lesbian rather than openly as a trans man because they believe it would be safer for me. I understand the safety reasoning, but I’m uncomfortable with the idea of having to conceal my identity to do this work.
For sex workers who have been in similar situations: how would you approach these conversations with a partner? What boundaries around clients, alcohol, time, and safety have worked for you?

Idk if I’ve been disassociating all this time or even on and off throughout my sw journey but…

When did it actually hit you like- I AM a sw. This is what I do for work. This is my livelihood. This is my expertise. This is my life. And not exactly in a bad way but just like realization I guess?

Especially doing this full time I feel like the realization hits even more sometimes.

Has anyone else noticed some providers are weird af about references?

I’m not referring to providers who don’t associate with references at all.. I’m referring to providers who require them as part of their screening and may even reach out to receive a reference, but ignore and gatekeep attempts when asked to give a reference.

I’m pretty close to discontinuing the option as an alternative to RWI screening. I can’t deal with the cattiness anymore. I’m over having to explain to clients (who did nothing wrong) that this is sometimes how it is. And yes I have the client reach out for permission, yes I’m a well established provider who can be verified, and I’m mid-high end.

And a reflection. I made a bunch of money in the beginning but got kicked out of the review forum here so I rebranded and advertised elsewhere as a lower end. I took a break from that but after 3 years I’ve come back and I’ve literally only seen one client. There is genuinely not enough interest for me anymore. That’s a weird pill to swallow. Also, starting this with no plan and spending all my money now I’m back to minimum wage jobs but escorting was always to supplement my income and I can’t even do that anymore.

Is there any backup besides SW? I am in school so that’s good but even if I pursue school I just always thought life would be ok and comfortable because I had SW. But it’s no longer there for me. What to do?

I’ve been diagnosed with uterine fibroids this week and I’ve been bleeding for a while. I’m a SW currently on a hiatus, but I can’t help but wonder how this condition could possibly affect my work life if I ever decide to go back to work.

By what seems this condition seems to be more common than I ever imagined between women, so I’m writing this in the hope some lady has gone through the same and still managed to work through it all. It feels very hopeless right now.

I’ve been seeing a lot of discouraging and depressing posts lately, so I just wanted to take a moment to remind everyone how strong you are for continuing to show up despite everything you’ve had to deal with😊. Working with clients is not always easy, and dealing with very slow months, inconsistent buyers, difficult interactions, or simply feeling like nothing is moving forward can become incredibly frustrating. I know how easy it is to question yourself when things aren’t going the way you hoped, especially with how expensive everything has become and how difficult the current economy + demographics have made things for independent providers.

Please don’t feel like a slow period means you’re failing or that you need to give up immediately. Sometimes you have to step back, rest, change your approach, or simply give yourself time before trying again. Your worth and your ability are not determined by how much you make in one week or how many clients you have in one month. 🤍
I’m genuinely wishing everyone here better months, kinder clients, more opportunities, and a little more peace.

Tryst is officially a flop. I renewed my premium ad on the 15th of this month. Today marks day 12 with not a single call or text or email, which is HIGHLY unusual for me. So I decide to investigate this morning. I logged in from a different computer, different browser, incognito mode and what do I see? Well, the first search my ad was not displayed AT ALL on the 8 pages of listings.

Then I go to my phone and mark my ad “available now” and go check again. Tell me why I’m absolutely buried under FREE/lite tier ads??? Excuse the cussing, but why THE FUCK am I paying for a premium ad when people with free ads have top placement over me? I knew something was wrong. Sure, a few slow days is normal, but TWELVE DAYS- no, TWO FUCKING WEEKS, without even a time waster or fantasy booker is NOT NORMAL for me at all.

I already put in a support ticket asking if there was some sort of glitch or bug, but I feel this needs to be shared for all in case anyone else had the same issue but didn’t want to speak up. And I also think we need to call advertising sites out when shady things are going on.

Hey all of you, i wanted to shortly update you on everything that happened in the time since my last post which is pretty positive and i think its cool to hear some good stuff from other people for a change.

So first i now have collected all the money i would theoretically need for the breast augmentation surgery + a bit extra which was the main reason that i started sex work in the first place😁

I had pretty much fun during this time even though sometimes it was pretty stressful with all the guys that waisted my time or were trying too shift my boundaries but it was worth it since i discovered many new things about my sexuallaty (z.b i never had though that i would like foot stuff)

I more or less will stop sex work shortly accept with 2 maybe 3 of my regulars from whitch one was the 2 customer ever for me.

On one of them i am not sure i will keep meeting him because he always is trying to shift my boundaries whitch I in a strange way like because of the power play if that would be the right description.

I defenetly dont want too get new customers because i fear that It could give me problems in the next work that I want too do.

And last lee the best news, the psychiatric ward i am currently am at suddenly changed it's mind and wants to help me get all the surgery's I want (bottom surgery and breast augmentation surgery) whitch would mean the health care system would pay for the surgery's and I can use the money for other things like for example for an fossil workstation, tatoos whitch I always wanted and for a new beginning in life in general 😁

As soon as i get the bottom surgery i will definitely stop sex work completely because i want that someone special is the person that I have vaginal sex with and not some one that I get money from.

Oh and finally i am happy about that I dont need to shave my hair anymore because i find smooth skin creepy and strange.

So that was update on my situation for you all 🥳

I always knew my real life and escort life would eventually cross paths. I just genuinely did not think it would happen this fucking fast.

Within the last 24 hours, my hometown suddenly showed up heavily in my profile analytics when it hadn’t been there before, and the Instagram I made for my provider persona started suggesting people from my real life—including my kid’s stepmom. I deleted the Instagram, but at this point I’m pretty sure somebody connected the dots.

I don’t even know what the point of this post is. Partly venting, partly asking what other providers did when this happened. I knew being recognized was a risk I was willing to accept, and I’m not ashamed of what I do. It’s the loss of control over who knows, when they know, and how far it spreads that is freaking me out.

For anyone who has had their escort identity connected to their real one: what happened next? Did you eventually just come out and tell your close relatives, or did they ask you directly? Did people mostly lurk and gossip and eventually get bored, or did it actually escalate? Did you change anything about how you advertised or handled social media, or did you just keep moving forward like normal?

I don’t know if this question is appropriate and i apologize if it isn’t but is it as “demeaning” or “pathetic” to have your first time be with someone you supplied funds to? I’m just really lonely and I wanna have an experience but my social anxiety and bodily insecurities keep preventing me from getting a gf/fwb. Obv I’m expecting this to be somewhat biased since the subreddit is literally for SW but I wanted the opinion of women who actually work in this field. Do you mind when a guy is inexperienced? Does it make your job harder (assuming they’re not a PoS who complains about it. I know my place and am grateful for everything but some of these guys expect porn star treatment when that’s just unrealistic) when a male client is a virgin?

For those of you who have worked in different areas of sex work… stripping, online work, sugaring, escorting … which has brought you the most steady and also highest paying money? Also, do any of you have side jobs to supplement your escort money?

I’ve been escorting for a few years now and while my hourly pay is high, it has been really inconsistent for me. It’s very stressful for me not knowing if and when I’ll make money.

I’ve toyed with the idea of being a bottle service girl on the weekends just so I can have steady weekly income but do you guys think it’s even worth it?

This is one of my biggest fears😭 as someone who is trying to stay local. Have ever met your client outside your workplace?
Ex:You’re just shopping in Whole Foods and boom that’s him in the same aisle as you. What did you do if it ever happened to you

Hi all,
I am thinking about touring in the bay area. I am a curvy blonde from the midwest and haven’t really traveled much. Feel like things are pretty slow here. Is it saturated out there? Or is business pretty good? How are the demographics/clients? Thanks in advance

Is me blocking client’s after not replying to my menu ? They ask “ am I available etc “ then I send it , but i cut the small talk and just send my menu then some don’t reply .. thinking bout not sending it out anymore idk . this might be weird ig .. for me blocking them ?😭 But do anybody else do this? 😭idk im so over the time wasting texting back & forth like no I just can’t . it’s good here for me but some ppl weird & got booking fantasies 😒

took a client inside to my room as usual asked for payment upfront,told me he will after a quick shower.

after all this time of asking it upfront I really slippednst this part and said ok and as you can guess when he looked at his bank balance he realized he had none

and he was like "ok gonna ask my brother to send money" I told him no I don't do stuff like that and he was like "no trust me you can trust me" after 15 min of just constantly arguing and yelling at him to get out he finally got out but the problem is the hotel counts him as a visitor and I have to pay a visitor fee between 400-500tl

so now I just lost money because logically it was my mistake to not immediately kick him out,when I need the money most and this night been dry at the street,whatever happens happens because of trusting men,what makes me more sad is I can't tell this to anyone because then I will be seen as dumb one because yeah I AM dumb! edit:well got a client which allowed me to at least make money tonight so I'm more calm,guess for every bad thing that happens something good follows by,don't be like me and just let one bad thing make you incredibly depressed

Feel free to be totally honest! I’d say I’m probably about an 8/10 face with small, saggy, post-breastfeeding boobs. I’ve been considering investing in a laptop to start doing cam but I don’t know if it’s worth it? Could I make decent money from it with the competition? I’m trying to move away from escorting and could commit to doing about 12 hours of camming a week