r/SexWorkers

I get this question in my DM’s several times a day from newbie clients:

“How do I find a provider in my city?”

They tell me of their frustrations trying to navigate Tryst and other directory sites, with horror stories of fake profiles, deposit scammers, and OnlyFans models who won’t meet them in person. Throw AI into the mix and they can’t even tell who is an actual human anymore.

With X, FB, and Instagram cracking down on SW it’s getting more difficult to find us on those platforms too.

This might seem like an obvious solution, but sometimes the most obvious solution is the one that gets too often overlooked.

Google is your friend, my dudes.

The best way to find a real human, local companion in your city is to search the web!

For example, when I type in “FBSM sensual massage Oklahoma City,” my official website pops up ranked first in search results.

Providers who are professional and serious have websites, and we know how to do SEO to help you find us in a web search.

Your chances of finding a reliable companion are MUCH better simply searching Google (or your search engine of choice) than wasting your time endlessly scrolling on Tryst, hoping to find someone local, honest, and real.

Of course Google will also bring up escort directory websites in your search results. Avoid those! Most are rabbit holes leading you nowhere.

Look for an actual companion’s official website.

From my own client analytics, 80% of new client inquiries I get come directly from my website, which the client ran across in a Google search.

Only about 10% of my business actually comes through Tryst. The other 10% usually find me on Reddit, BlueSky, Velvet22, or other sites.

Clients, try the simplest solution: Google it!

Providers, don’t sleep on having an official website. Hire a good designer who is an SEO pro. Trust me, it’s worth the investment!

Summer is coming … apparently the worst time to do s work
I have a lot of bills to pay and im worry about the traffic over the next few months any tips?

And has anyone else had a slow may?

I’ve had enquiries a lot to be honest but all very low calibre and time wasters
I’m also not from a popular city:(

I just lost my account, though it appears to not have been due to an AI review of my account since the email specifically said that someone had reported me; however, some friends got banned recently too so it may be a good time to clean up some of your reportable posts.

I actually got reported for an image that had reportable text in it, so don’t think that just cause it’s in an image it’s safe!

So every time I’m at the grocery store, gym airport, etc. Guys ask for my #. Every single time after a bit of texting, they asked for pictures or a FaceTime. And of course I ask them for money in exchange. They always get mad. Is it appropriate if i tell them prior to getting my number I will entertain the convo for money?

Hello,

I am in the US and have seen sex workers for the last 3 years. I noticed that some providers offer “Greek” in their Tryst profile for an added fee.

Given the illegal status of the work in the USA, how/when is appropriate to bring this up, if I would like to add this to the booking fee? Can I mention this in an email? Thank you.

So I have found that I am most comfortable when I give the specific address of the session about 10 minutes prior to the appointment. I give them a location less than 5 minutes away and always communicate the process (that I'll be sending address before session) So they aren't stressing on what's going on. I do this for the privacy of other clients, my own anxiety as I really don't like feeling like somebody's waiting for me. Is this common?

SW made me mean as fuck toward men. Before escorting I was genuinely sweet and friendly, especially to guys. Not in that “Nice guy” way. I mean genuinely kind and friendly. Then I saw how a lot of men actually move and realized being “the sweet girl” just gets you used.

The nicer I was, the more men took advantage of it. The second I became rude, vicious, entitled, and stopped tolerating bullshit, suddenly I got respect.

Being nice got me nowhere.

Edit: Weirdly enough the only men im nice to are my clients because I know their intentions and we are pretty open with eachother. This is NOT me saying im rude to them lol theyre great. Civvy men on the other hand 🤢

It’s human to crave connection, but in our world safety comes from discretion and keeping a low profile. Everything you say on Discord, Reddit, or any sort of social media is not private, and advertising the existence of any sex worker spaces or private community chat is not only reckless, it’s downright dangerous.

Discord and Reddit are especially treacherous right now:

💯Times have changed. Data is $$$, AI tools are sharp, and all eyes are watching us, especially here. What we say online can be saved, scraped, sold, or weaponized faster than ever… A leaked screenshot, a casual location drop, a shared screening tip—any of it can become doxxing, blackmail, stalking, or worse.

💯Pimps, scammers, and law enforcement regularly Post on Reddit with “My first (fill in the blank)… time; client; appointment,” and frequently use looking for “mentorship,” “friends,” “community,” “advice,” or “support.” BE SKEPTICAL OF ANYONE YOU MEET ONLINE CLAIMING TO BE NEW!

💯 Having an ad DOES NOT make someone a legitimate provider. Police have ads! Scammers have ads! Agencies have ads! Pimps have ads! Our greatest protection is PRIVACY and keeping it in the family. If you have a SW community and you care about keeping its members safe, STOP ADVERTISING IT!

💯Everything you type can be used against you. Think doxxing. Think criminal case. Think custody hearing. Act accordingly.

💯Share nothing you wouldn’t want on a billboard: locations, travel plans, client notes, verification methods, etc.

💯Community is still precious—but it must be protected and its greatest defense is privacy. Think Fight Club, first rule.

Hi all, 23F here dealing with a potential herpes diagnosis. FSSW has been my main form of income for 4 years and I don’t know what to do with my life now. (It’s legal in a brothel where I live)
I haven’t always used condoms in my life, but always while at work. I’ve started the medication and I have no idea what this means for my future.
Does anybody work with this diagnosis? Thank you. Please point me in another direction if this isn’t the place to go. Bless you.

When a client arrives at our incall and asks this question it immediately makes us feel nervous and afraid, wondering “oh shit, is this dude an axe murderer?”

I’ve heard stories of providers terminating the session right then and there, just because this uncomfortable question was asked.

I understand, and I don’t like that question either.

On the other hand, remember that clients also have good reasons to fear for their safety.

Allow me to share a story from my own experience with a terrified new client.

Really nice young Asian guy, very polite, passed screening flawlessly, but he was super nervous when he entered my incall. “Are we… alone?”

He was glancing around, scoping the exits and doors visually, so I said “yes, why do you ask?”

He explained that he once had been robbed and beaten at a hotel incall with a massage girl after answering her ad on Backpage.

She got him naked and lying down on the bed, said she needed to use the bathroom — and then 3 big dudes emerged from the bathroom, took his wallet, phone, & car! Beat the shit out of him and left him with only his clothes. Poor guy.

He said it took him 4 years to summon the courage to see a sex worker again. I felt so bad for him that I did something I don’t normally do.

I walked him through my incall apartment, opening closets, bedroom & bathroom doors to show him that no one was hiding in there, waiting to ambush him.

That really helped to set his mind at ease. After he felt comfortable we had a great session! He tipped me very well and is still a regular client today. Been seeing him for 6 years now!

Not every guy who asks this question is planning to harm you. Sometimes they are afraid you might harm them.

You just have to listen to your gut, screen well, and handle this question on a case by case basis… as you see fit.

I’m an escort, and I went to a strip club with a regular.

We got a champagne room, and my client paid two strippers via Venmo what amounts to my high end escort hourly rate, each.

In the room, they danced a little and flashed their boobs. It looked like the easiest money ever compared to escorting.

I mentioned to my client that I’d assumed “more” typically happened in champagne rooms, to which he responded “that would be prostitution” lolol

So now I’m wondering if I’m missing something. Can strippers sometimes make relatively easy and more money compared to escorts? They’re already there, they can upsell in the champagne room, and I imagine if I hadn’t been there with my client, they may have tried to get him to extend or spend more with the promise of potential services.

What I find interesting is that some men seem to have this mindset that strippers occupy this somehow “holier” category over escorts.

But men will be men. And I’m just overall curious if strippers can easily make more money than escorts thanks to this.

On days that you just FEEL ugly for absolutely no logical reason, what are your best tips/practices that make you feel better? I struggle with this occasionally (usually at the same time my stomach is messed up/i feel really nauseous) and it colors how i see myself and i have a hard time snapping myself out of it. What are your tricks that work?

As the title implies, I beleive that there are a variety of different reasons for why someone would want sex work to remain illegal. I believe consenting adults should just be left to do what they choose to do and that the main reason somone would opose sex work is because it goes against their values. To me, that's just them forcing other people to live by their values and not letting others live by theirs.

how do you deal with duos to keep things exciting? any tips for for improvement.I feel overwhelmed in dealing with 2 girls at same session

“All sex work is art. Performance, fantasy…”

Just finished watching the final episode of ( Margo’s got money troubles), touched to my very core. Thanks for that.

So I'm 22M, haven't been in the hobby long (about 7 months). I got into it mostly to cope with loneliness and I don't plan to continue past this year, at my age I need something more permanent in my life.

Back in December I met a provider who was touring my country (yes, the Microsoft tech support one lol). We were the same age and just clicked really well. At some point in the conversation she opened up, told me she doesn't enjoy this work but didn't have much choice. Her dad passed during COVID, her mom wasn't supportive, and despite having a master's in Computer Science she was really struggling to find a job in tech. Sex work was basically her way to stay afloat.

I'm a software developer at a FAANG, so when she asked if I could help her prep for tech interviews, I was genuinely happy to. We spent the rest of the session going through interview prep, I gave her a full roadmap, resources, the works. After that I'd randomly text her useful stuff I came across that I thought would help her.

In February I referred her to an opening at my company in Warsaw. She didn't make it through unfortunately, but she kept at it.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine who did his masters somewhere in the EU and now works at a startup there asked if I wanted to apply for a role. It was honestly a decent offer, good salary by most standards, just not competitive enough for me given what FAANG pays. So it wasn't for me. But I thought of her immediately and told him to refer her instead.

Today, mid-Valorant game, I get a text from her. She got the job.

I don't know why but I felt genuinely, unexpectedly happy. Like a warmth I wasn't prepared for. She said my roadmap and tips made a real difference and that she's grateful. She'll keep doing sex work on the side until she has enough savings, then transition fully to her new role.

We're technically strangers. But knowing I had even a small part in changing someone's life trajectory, that means something to me.

Just wanted to share a win. Hope this kind of post is okay here 🙂

Edit: Removed the location for privacy

I’m so distressed because I had such a long day because I was moving apartments and I finally settled in and a regular wanted to come see me last minute and I agreed because I need to make back the money from this move. I particularly don’t like him because sometimes he comes high but overall he was friendly, which doesn’t really matter of course. because I was tired and I don’t have my glasses on as soon as we started the session I looked up and I saw that his glasses were actually Meta glasses I immediately stopped the session and told him to get out and he started lying and stuttering over his words and trying to gaslight me, but I’m not stupid. I know he recorded me. I’m also a face in Worker I don’t show my face in my ads for several reasons. I feel so violated. I kicked him out, but this totally ruined my mood and I just feel like crying. I’m the kind of person who never even sends nudes with my face even when I had a boyfriends in the past it’s just never been a thing I’ve done because I would personally never send nudes with my face And now that has been non-consensually done to me and I feel as bad as I have in the past when I’ve been sexually assaulted. I hate him so much. I threatened that I would go to the police, but I know that wouldn’t even do anything. I just feel so broken right now. I’ve been in this industry for a while but times like this remind me that you can never even for a slight second, let your guard down. I usually don’t run into issues like this with clients and because I’ve seen him a couple times before I let my guard down and I’m just so upset with myself as well even though I know it’s not my fault.

no matter how hard i try to do the right thing and fit in it always fails. i am good at this job. i went to college to get away from this but it turned out bad. i am sad that i have to continue to do this even thought i tried to get away. people in the real world reject me i will never fit in