Xan fenta codein tapentadol Pseudomytragin
We started with some xans, he had definitely more than I but I am not sure how much everything was fine till he put out fenta and u have 2 know that I'm really addicted so I couldn't say no and taped me two of them, after I realized it works I was nervous took one down went in bathroom came back and sth wasn't right.
My husband blacked out every ten minutes, I thought it would get better tried with coffee and shower to keep him with me, it worked a little.
After sitting down his eyes rolled back and his breathing stopped, I shouted at him he opened his eyes "breath"I shouted ... realising I couldn't handle situation I called ambulance, they took him to hospital.
I felt nothing, couldn't eat or do anything so I layed down on my couch and stayed there for hours until friends came for driving me to hospital. I went there with some shoes but forgot socks or charger for mobile, first visit he was laying getting air for breathing through machines, whatever I did he wasn't awake
Being home alone showed me how sick I am, I could only feed my cat but shower or eat for myself wasn't possible. I called him next morning he took of phone and was able to answer, my chest was able to breath again. I've visited him directly he told me he ate the 3 fentatape, thus it's clear it ended like that
Instead of being happy due to him coming homz after 1,5 days I am anxious about this happens again.
Addiction ist tough and u always play with the devil please be careful with opioids and benzos
I feel like frozen at the day it happens, living is so hard to me right now it feels like I'm an elementary kid
Does anyone has some clues for me handling this as someone with #cptsd #addiction