Husbands birthday
My husband’s birthday is coming up and I’m seriously considering finally making one of his biggest fantasies happen. He’s the only man I’ve ever been with. About 10 years ago he started sharing his desire to watch me with another guy, specifically a BBC. I was very against it at first and shut it down. He respected me completely, backed off, and hasn’t pushed it at all this past year. That respect has actually made me more open to exploring it on my own terms.
I’m now thinking about giving him this as a special birthday present, but I know a total surprise would be a bad idea. Consent and communication matter too much. My plan would be something like this: I’d tell him I booked an “in home massage” for myself. He’s asked countless times in the past to watch me get a massage that turns sexual, so he’d be excited just for that. Once he’s watching, I’d make it clear that it can stop at the massage, or go further if we’re both really into it in the moment. No pressure either way.
Alternative idea: Have him walk in on me playing with the big black dildo he bought us, build the fantasy from there, and then offer the real thing if the energy is right.
I don’t want to go full surprise sex with another man unless we’re both enthusiastically on board. Has anyone done something similar? How did you set it up so it felt safe and exciting for everyone? Any advice on finding the right guy, discussing boundaries beforehand, or how to handle the aftermath emotionally?
I’m nervous but also really turned on by how much this would mean to him. We’ve talked about this fantasy before, so it’s not coming out of nowhere, but I still want to be careful.