I masturbated to gay porn for the first time and it felt good.
I really can’t find a NSFW thread to post on or somewhere to be as open as possible and explicit so people can understand me so I really hope this is the right place and community.
For starter, i’ve been “straight” my whole life. Raised Muslim, extremely toxic masculine friend group, toxic athlete circle, the whole 9 yards. I was scared to not like girls so much that I’d really just gaslight myself.
I recently got to college and I’d say i’m a really fit guy, and decent looking and a girl came up to me and was dancing on me and I just wasn’t interested even though she was jaw dropping and stunning.
I saw frat boys who I’m friends with running around shirtless or in little to no clothing and couldn’t help but find myself attracted to it.
I found myself hard during rush events when us pledges would do things like a naked run or having to shower naked together and even more than that I liked the feeling of being submissive - daydreaming about someone taking care of me.
I also want to say i’m not well endowed down there and I’m really not sure if that plays a part in feeling that way.
But tonight, I decided to try it. I opened up gay porn and found someone who looked like me getting pounded and I shot my biggest load. It was amazing.
The issue is i’m a highly sexual person and I want to recreate this feel but I don’t know how to in real life. Everyone knows me as this super straight dude and the social pressure of being Muslim and people only knowing one side of me scares me. No one knows the hypersexual side and not to sound cocky I’m sure I can pull guys but just so worried about it all.
Please give me advice and feedback.