u/Choco-browniexoxo

So I went over to my friend's place a few months back we did makeout earlier. But I was a virgin and wanted to do it with a guy I will be in a serious relationship with. So we were making out and I'm getting treatment for depression anxiety so I maybe don't respond well. While he was above me he put his penis inside without asking and I went numb I didn't say anything and he was telling me to spread and take it deeper. I didn't say a word and just followed what he said. Even dumb thing I was like okay I lost my virginity it can't be reversed now. And went on to let him fuck me. I didn't even orgasm he didn't even ask if did . After that he said stupid shit like u never thought a girl with attitude will lose a virginity to a guy u met in gym . He was laughing then said I have cams I was recording u . He was kidding but I felt so sick and came back home . And next day I went again to talk out what happened and he still forced me to just let him fuck me I didn't let him do that by telling him don't do it 5times and pushing him away. We had arguments and he manipulated me into thinking I did wrong by saying sex wasn't good I didn't orgasm and u r making me feel like I forced u or stuff. And said u shouldn't make such mistakes and hurt anyone or give them such trauma for life. I was convenced ki maybe I'm being hard on him. And I didn't stop him so its my fault And gave him another chance. Actually I had a relapse and self harm episode so my psychiatrist wanted someone to take guarantee of me that I won't commit suicide or do another self harm. My friends r in different cities so he was the last option and somehow things got good between us ik I'm dumb but he just convinces me and I always end but going silent I am left with no option but to agree. After Dr's appointment he said I want to spend quality time with u I took my meds he said take condoms I was like no I'm not taking it I'm not ready for sex. Then we cuddled kissed and he came above and asked me to spread I was like we don't have condoms too he still went it and I'm the dumb mf continued it. Ik I'm responsible but I just want to went it out . Plus people who think he was confused I have said I won't ever have sex with him a number of times

In the dim Twilight I caught your gaze, And my darkest cravings set ablaze.

Your corporate calm had hidden what your body could not hide, a submissive ruin in you reside.

I grabbed your jaw and looked in those puppy

eyes, and kissed your sugar lips till they caramelised.

Broke the kiss and gave you my palm's kiss, reminding you of my dark desire's endless abyss.

Your hands tangled with the ropes of my mercy,

blindfolded eyes saw my desires so dirty.

I ripped apart layer by layer your dignity, quenched your thirst with my golden serenity.

A wet insult my lips layed on your face,

Held your face I pressed you against myself with grace.

The feel of your tongue lingered in all the sacred places, And it rained on my barren petals after ages.

I rowed through tides beneath me so ruthless,

Till you fell apart in me and lied breathless.

The submission trembling under my power, For you were the sinful golden fruit I always ached to devour.