u/Classic-Air-746

We realize they punishments like spanking can easily cross the line and become funishment.

When I have fallen behind on my chores or am not meeting her expectations in some way, my wife will not ask me to massage her feet. Most nights, she will ask me if I want to rub her feet. When she does not ask, or grabs the lotion and puts it on her feet, I know I have not earned that privilege. It motivates me to catch up or try harder.

Does your wife have subtle "punishments" like this?

For many years, I failed to be the husband my wife deserved. Around the beginning of the year, something happened that opened my eyes to how I was treating her. I thought the best solution was to submit to her fully. Our biggest conflict was division of chores. We were not talking much, she was very angry and hurt. I took the initiative to start doing more of the chores. I asked for advice here and on other subs. All the advice was pretty consistent, keep showing up for her, defer to her, take pride in the work you do and she will notice and come to expect it.

I consistently did that. Kept the house clean, sought her approval and didn't try to make it a kink. I listened when she gave feedback and thanked her for her advice.

We evolved, she got more confidant directing my efforts. We talked more, spent more time together and started to be friends again. She started letting me give her backrubs and such. It progressed to me giving her nightly foot massages. That is my favorite part of the day- I have learned how to do a proper for massage and it feels good for her.

Last weekend we went camping. When we got back, I spent the day cleaning our camping gear, doing laundry while she puttered around in her garden. In the evening when we went to bed, she had me strip the chipped polish off her toes and repaint them.

Last night when we went to bed, she casually mentioned that the night before, I fell asleep before I got lotion on her feet, then added "Don't let that happen again".

I responded with an enthusiastic "Yes ma'am"

After 8 months, she is comfortable taking the lead. We communicate better, have more fun together and there is almost no tension in our relationship.

I know the title of this post is sort of goofy and fetish-ish. It feels like we hit 'milestones' that emphasize the changes to our relationship. A year ago, she didn't really want me to touch her.

Last winter, I suffered an injury and was out of commission through the spring. As I gained mobility, I was able to get back to doing all household chores. I still am not recovered fully and my wife does the mowing, trimming, etc. The yard looks better than it has in years, BTW.

The other day, I commented that I'm getting stronger and hope to get neck to doing yardwork too.

She told me she enjoys doing yardwork as it is good exercise and gives her time to think. We have both noticed her upper body is more toned this year. Last night I was feeling her arm muscles like a fawning schoolgirl.

I told her she is the man of the house without the male weakness.

I love my wife's feet. I love the way they look, the way they feel. She allows me to put lotion on them several times a week.

To improve my skills and give her a better experience, I have started to learn about pressure points and other aspects of foot care. I spend 10 - 15 minutes on each foot. I get better each time.

I used to ask her if I could rub her feet. Lately she has been asking/telling me to do it almost every night.

I think this is a win/win. She gets a well deserved luxurious massage and I get to have my hands all over her feet. I am careful to keep my arousal to myself. I want her to know this is all about her pleasure.

Does anyone else learning how to make your Queen's feet happy?

I would love to learn more.

I have been married to my wife for over twenty years. We have sex weekly, sometimes twice in the same week...

I have noticed after orgasm, my wife glows and is more relaxed and creative. She's happy and is very productive in her garden or painting in her studio.

After I orgasm, I am less attentive to her, less romantic and I have a hard time getting motivated to do my chores. I feel like sitting around.

Has anyone else noticed this or is it just us? Is it biology that causes that or just our personality?

I love my wife's feet, everything about them turns me on. She loves to have her feet pampered so it's a win-win situation.

I love to give her foot massages and paint her toes. I always make sure it's about her and keep my fetish out of it. As much as I would love to start licking her soles, I save that for when she wants it.

Lately she has been working in her garden. Sometimes she takes a break and escapes the heat by sitting on the bed in the air conditioning in our bedroom.

She has me clean the soil off her feet before she puts them on the bed with a pack of wet wipes. Sometimes her feet get pretty grimy and I have to scrub a bit. Yesterday while I was scrubbing her foot, she started to casually rub my crotch with her free foot. I struggled to resist sticking her soil covered toes into my mouth.

My wife found that amusing.

She is so good to me.

A little background.

Wife (F48) and I (M58) have been on the rocks for a while. Last Fall, everything came to a head, and she almost left. Our main issues were division of housework and my 1970's mindset.

That was an eye opener for me and I took immediate steps to correct that. I proactively started doing the bulk of the chores and updating my mindset. In the beginning, she was suspicious. The only way to prove myself was to show her, which I have been doing.

Our sex life had gone away. She stopped undressing in front of me. I have not been pursuing sex, but showing respectful affection. We have been affectionate but I have not passed first base. I am good with that. I want to fix us before we go there again. On a few occasions, things have gotten heated and she "finishes" while I kiss her to help her get there. My underwear stayed on.

Recently, she has been more "flirty". She has done little things she knows turns me on. She's flashed me a couple times, has not been covering up around me. I really don't want to ruin any gains we have made and for her to doubt my sincerity by initiating sex.

Does anyone have any thoughts?

I plan to keep working on being a better partner and take cues from her for physical intimacy. I want her to see my desire as a positive, not just trying to get laid.

A little background...

Our (F47, M58) marriage was slipping away. For many years, she felt like the bulk of the housework was her burden. She felt like she had no voice, wasn't heard or seen. In a moment of clarity, I saw the error of my ways and begged her forgiveness. She did not believe me. I decided to show her.

I did not suggest FLR because I didn't want her to feel like I was trying to her her into a kink for me.

I started taking responsibility for the housework. I deferred to her and cheerfully did the work. Over the past few months, I have reached the point of being able to exceed her expectations for housework. I also had conversions and asked questions designed to explore our relationship from her point of view. I listened to her and reacted accordingly.

The tension that has always been present in our relationship is better, we talk more, we cuddle every night. This week, for the first time in a very long time, we were intimate. It was very one sided. She had an orgasm and I never took my clothes off. I thanked her and rubbed her back while she drifted off the sleep.

I think I am doing the right things. We talk more and that seems to be the best part.

Any thoughts?