r/AuthenticFLR

Hello everyone!

I am at the beginning of a more structured FLR.

My partner and I have been together for a year, and BDSM has always been a part of our dynamic, but now we have decided to take things more seriously. I started reading a lot about it, and there was one book that completely changed my mindset. Now I truly want to focus on being the best version of myself for her.

​Since I am the novice and she is the person with much more experience, I would like to ask for your advice on introducing routines. Is it a good idea for me to suggest "rules" or tasks for myself to complete?

​For example, I would like her to control my bedtime by setting a fixed time.

My question is: could suggesting this, along with introducing punishments/consequences if I fail to stick to the schedule, yield good results? Or will it just create more stress and work for her, since she would have to be constantly attentive every single day at that specific time to check if I am complying?

​How do you usually manage the introduction of these routines without turning the dominant's role into a micro-management burden?

Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts!

My wife and I are I. Our mid 50s and have been married over 30 years, we always had a good sex life. We got very kinky for a while
In our 20s and 30s, including swinging and some D/s play. However she always has an aversion to anything female dominated.

A few years back she became quadriplegic. She has sensation but limited movements, making traditional intercourse impossible. Because she needs constant care ( her hands don’t work at all) the cost of nursing care was way to expensive so I had to retire early become her sole caregiver.

This entailed handling all of her ADLs, as well as doing all the physical work that has to be done in a family. But for me the lack of sex was a huge thing and having to wait on her constantly and be responsible for everything was wearing me down. I noticed that after I would masturbate I would have no desire to do any of my work and would be resentful of her. I started researching kinks for people who can’t have traditional sex and I read about FLRs. I realized that in action we had a FLR already but we weren’t thinking of it that way. And my sex drive was down because she was a responsibility not a choice.

I mentioned the idea and chastity to her. And she initially objected, being naturally submissive. But after she complained one day about how I can masturbate but she cannot, I brought up the topic again, that my responsibilities would become pleasurable if we had a mindset of her being in charge and my only purpose is to please her. And that she could actually control all
My orgasms and even erections.

Her eyes widened and she opened up to the idea and what was once a huge burden on me is now a huge pleasure for me. That change of mindset changed everything for us. And my resentment is gone, replaced by devotion.

And she feels empowered in a way that she hasn’t since before her injury and she is realizing how much I truly worship her.

As stated above, my wife (f43) and I (m38) decided Saturday night that in our marriage having me at the “helm” of our marriage has been bad. Trying to be “the man” and treating her poorly. At work I am an alpha personality and unfortunately bring it home and treat her like a coworker as she would say. Prior to this convo I was locked on Thursday and hadn’t cum since the last Sunday.
As the conversation progressed, she was very happy that I admitted to treating her poorly and glad to hear I wanted to make a change in a positive way. She also really notices how differently I act when I and locked up. She says it’s like she has the man she married back, I’m not edgy-crabby-argumentative. A more calm, patient helpful spouse.
We broke new ground and it’s going phenomenal so far.
The next morning while laying in bed she let me lick her feet for about 20-30min straight, I was in heaven! Locked or not I didn’t care, so extremely aroused it didn’t matter. She just played in her phone without a care in the world, as if I wasn’t even there lol. I asked her if I could be unlocked (totally against protocol haha) surprisingly she giggled and said hold on a second while she went to go grab the key out of her purse.There I was laying in bed waiting…took probably 15-20min till she returned. She laid next to me and watched as I turned the key instantly releasing a rock hard red cock. Laughing at me hysterical she said “looks like you already came!” Thankfully it was just a massive amount of pre cum. I asked if I could have her foot which she smiled and put it on my balls. With all the pre cum it was used like lube for me to hump and thrust against her foot. Asked if she would allow me her other foot to which she gave a very stern NO and said you have one that’s enough. Naturally I made the best of it and started to masturbate, after not going for a week it felt amazing. She just laid there and watched smiling. As I was about to go I said oh fuck I think I’m gunna cum -she with no hesitation says Jesus finally already with a half smile and eye roll. That comment alone instantly caused a massive eruption haha.
Worst part is? I shot the massive load all over my face-hair-chest-stomach-pillow. As soon as the first rope shot out and hit my face she lost it laughing uncontrollably. Naturally it threw my focus off from enjoying the orgasm to humiliation of my wife seeing me cum on my own face. I kept stroking but lost the big O even though there are just streams of cum shooting directly at my face. She laughed and laughed ( secretly I loved every min of it, too bad it didn’t land in my mouth 🙃) while I’m being sprayed. I looked over at her and her face was red from laughing so hard. I think she even enjoyed the humiliation I had just endured but didn’t know how to react other than laugh. Maybe next time she will actually request it and
say “good you deserve that not clean up and lock up ” 🤷‍♂️.
Who knows- a guy can dream! So far it’s going well, both enjoying it enough that I feel guilty when I even take it off for a good shower. I’ll give updates on how it’s going if ya’ll are interested !

I see a lot of FLR posts focused on chastity, orgasm control, or denial. That’s great if it works for you, but that’s not what our FLR is built on. Don’t get me wrong—we definitely have our own kinks, and they’re centered around her absolute dominance. But those are an expression of our relationship, not its foundation.

What’s funny is that early in our relationship, she told me that one day my devotion to her would become much bigger than kinks and sex. At the time I didn’t fully understand what she meant. Looking back now, she was absolutely right.

I submit because I genuinely admire my wife. She’s incredibly capable, makes better decisions than I do, and has this calm confidence that naturally earns people’s respect. My family and friends adore her too, and honestly, I feel like I hit the jackpot. Serving her isn’t just about intimacy. It’s about making her life easier, trusting her leadership, and taking pride in supporting someone I truly believe is extraordinary.

Being with her and obeying her have only made my personal and professional life only better.

For me, devotion comes from admiration—not just from sexual control.

Does anyone else have an FLR that’s built more on genuine respect and admiration than just on sexual dynamics?

I love my wife's feet. I love the way they look, the way they feel. She allows me to put lotion on them several times a week.

To improve my skills and give her a better experience, I have started to learn about pressure points and other aspects of foot care. I spend 10 - 15 minutes on each foot. I get better each time.

I used to ask her if I could rub her feet. Lately she has been asking/telling me to do it almost every night.

I think this is a win/win. She gets a well deserved luxurious massage and I get to have my hands all over her feet. I am careful to keep my arousal to myself. I want her to know this is all about her pleasure.

Does anyone else learning how to make your Queen's feet happy?

I would love to learn more.