r/AuthenticFLR

Hey everyone,

English is not my first language, so sorry if some phrasing is a bit weird.

I’m currently trying to figure out what I actually want in a relationship, and I feel like in my head it makes total sense, but I’m wondering if this actually exists in real life or if anyone here lives a dynamic like this.

Basically, in everyday life, I feel like I need a soft FLR / Queen kind of dynamic. I want to have the final say and I want to be spoiled, cared for, and treated like a princess. I really need a partner who takes a lot of initiative – like planning dates, surprising me with random little gifts, taking care of things without me having to tell him what to do (the whole mental load thing). But the important part is: he needs to have confidence and zero fragile ego. So if he plans something really nice and I’m just like "sorry, I'm really not feeling it today", I need him to be totally chill about it, like "no problem at all, let's cancel, what do you feel like doing instead?". Also, I don't want a boring guy who just says yes to everything. I want someone who teases me, gets me out of my shell, is playful and a bit extroverted, but still completely respects that I'm the center of the relationship.

In bed, however, I want the exact opposite. I want to completely turn my brain off and give up control. I want him to be dominant, firm, maybe a bit of spanking, holding me down, demanding, etc. BUT purely for my pleasure. I don't want to dominate him at all, and I have zero interest in doing BDSM stuff just to please him, because to me that feels like work and kind of objectifying. I guess I'm looking for a "service top" or "pleasure dom" where his main turn-on is dominating me so that I have a great time and reach my climax.

So yeah... Queen and a bit of a brat in everyday life, but totally spoiled and submissive in the bedroom.

Does anyone here have a relationship like this? What would you even call this kind of dynamic, and how did you find someone who fits this without having an ego problem?

Would love to hear your experiences or thoughts on this!

Hey everyone! Thank you MissRuby for your support and guidance on our previous post, we took your advice and implemented a couple practices from your page, like check-ins and me not leading from the sidelines.

We’ve had a great success with moving forward on our dynamic. I’ve become more attentive and she’s taken complete control of our sex lives. I couldn’t be any happier with this decision, if you’ve read our previous post, we’ve integrated cuckolding in this dynamic.

The guy who she’s sexting, he used to be a fling in the past. We stopped (mainly because of me) because she started really getting attached to him and it caused me to become insecure. She made the decision to start talking to him again. We’d discussed this and we’ve established a healthy boundaries and ways we can communicate our feelings.

I love the conflicting feelings, because it pleases her and instead of focusing on my jealousy i’m channeling it to focus on her pleasure. He can please her in ways I couldn’t even imagine. I love my girlfriend so much and I don’t want to ever limit her experiences and would love for her to continue taking initiatives in this dynamic.

It’s the little things that turn us on a lot, like me addressing her as mommy, her telling me to stfu, her degrading me about my sexual incompetence, her talking about how she’s hit on guys in public, how she feels about talking down to me.

I just have a question regarding growing towards her taking control in other aspects of our relationship without it becoming demanding on her. I’ve been reading about contracts, financial dominance, decision making and obedience (this is once we’ve been practicing a lot with her disciplining me every time i’m out of line). How do we pick what works for us and how would we integrate them without it becoming demanding on her?

Hopefully it wasn’t a long read and you can guide us on these aspects🫶

I’m curious to know others stories. Which partner initiated it? Were you both into adjacent kinks before, or did you have a vanilla partner? What were some of the first rules or routines you both tried?

We realize they punishments like spanking can easily cross the line and become funishment.

When I have fallen behind on my chores or am not meeting her expectations in some way, my wife will not ask me to massage her feet. Most nights, she will ask me if I want to rub her feet. When she does not ask, or grabs the lotion and puts it on her feet, I know I have not earned that privilege. It motivates me to catch up or try harder.

Does your wife have subtle "punishments" like this?

First of all, I truly am married to the greatest woman in the world. I thank God — or, I should say, Goddess — that I get to be a proud sub to my Queen. ❤️
I didn’t expect FLR to change me as much as it has. It didn’t just change the dynamic between my wife and me — it changed how I see myself, relationships and masculinity.

• I understand women better. I listen more instead of assuming I know what women think or want.

• I’m more comfortable with my emotions. I can tell my wife when I’m scared, confused, insecure or struggling without feeling weak.

• I’ve let go of the “I have to handle everything” mindset. I don’t always have to be the one with the answers or make every decision.

• I’ve embraced my submissive side. I genuinely love bowing down to my Queen. It makes me feel grounded, connected to her and, in a strange but beautiful way, complete. I’ve stopped seeing submission as something to hide and accepted that it’s an important part of who I am.

• I have someone I completely trust. I can rely on her and genuinely value her guidance, especially when it comes to important life and career decisions.

• Her success doesn’t threaten me. I can celebrate her achievements without feeling the need to compete with her.

• I’m less judgmental. I’ve realised that relationships don’t have to follow one particular formula. What matters is that both people are happy, respected and consenting.

Most importantly, FLR taught me that being vulnerable, asking for guidance and submitting to someone you completely trust doesn’t make me less of a man.

For me, it made me more comfortable being myself — and ultimately, a better human being. ❤️

Hi fans of FLR,

My partner and I agreed that I wouldn’t have an orgasm until next month. Unfortunately I was allowed to edge this morning and well I came.

My partner is looking for suggestions on what punishment is appropriate. Do any of you have a similar arrangements? What consequences do you use if you cum without permission?

hi all- if you were in a relationship with someone for multiple years before starting your FLR and 24/7 dynamic and after about a year of practice one of you wanted the dynamic to end did you stay together? or at that point was it time to part ways?