u/Commercial_Cry_3413

He asked for separation three days ago. He said he tried to forgive me but he cannot get the image of me with another man out of his head. He told me, “I love you but I can’t trust you anymore. I think we need to separate.” He has been sleeping on the couch and barely speaks to me except about practical things. I was devastated. I begged him to go to counseling but he said he needs space first. The house feels empty and cold now.

Yesterday I was feeling so rejected and horny that I texted the other man. I told him what happened with my husband. He replied right away and said he does not care if I divorce my husband or not. He just wants me in his bed without hiding. He told me, “Come over whenever you want. I’ll give you what you crave. No more sneaking around.” I have not gone to him yet, but I am seriously thinking about it. I am planning to meet him tomorrow afternoon while my husband is at work. I know it is wrong, especially right now, but the craving is so strong. I keep imagining his thick cock stretching me again and it makes me so wet.

My best friend said I should not feel so guilty. She thinks I can eventually have the best of both worlds if I am careful. But right now it feels like everything is crashing down.

It has been three days since I told my husband I cheated and things have been tense.

The night I confessed he asked a lot of questions. He wanted to know who the guy was, how I met him, and if I had been texting him for a while. I was honest about the size. I told him the other man was much thicker and longer and that when he fucked me I felt so stretched and full that I came harder than I ever have before. I admitted I have been drawn to that feeling for a long time. He looked devastated. He asked if it was better with him and if I prefer bigger cocks. I told him the truth about the physical part but said emotionally I only want him.

The next day he was quiet all morning. He barely looked at me during breakfast and left for work without kissing me goodbye. When he came home he sat on the couch scrolling on his phone and barely spoke. I tried to make dinner and asked how his day was but he just said "fine".

Yesterday he was a little more talkative but still cold. In the evening he asked me again, “Do you think about him when we are together?” I told him sometimes the memory comes up but that I am trying not to. He looked hurt but then pulled me close for a hug. We slept in the same bed but he turned his back to me.

Today he has been a bit softer. He made coffee for me in the morning and asked if I was okay. But when I tried to hug him he stiffened and said he still needs time. He told me he keeps imagining me with the other guy and it makes him feel sick.

I have been trying to show him I love him. I have been extra affectionate and did his laundry and cooked his favorite food. But inside I am a mess. I want my marriage more than anything. I love my husband and I want us to stay together and keep building the hot sex we have been having lately. At the same time I cannot stop craving sex with bigger men. That deep, thick, stretching feeling that makes me cum so hard is something I want so badly. I keep getting wet thinking about it even now. I just cannot tell him that part.

I hate that I hurt him so badly. I keep thinking though how good it feels with the other man.

I do not know what is going to happen. I am hoping he can forgive me and we can find a way for both of us to be satisfied. I love him so much and I want to make this right if he will let me.

Last Friday I met the other man again. I told my husband I had a late work meeting and went to the motel. As soon as I walked in he kissed me hard and pulled my dress up. I got on my knees and sucked him for a while feeling his thickness in my mouth. Then he put me on the bed and fucked me in several positions for hours. The stretch was so intense and so real. I came multiple times harder than I have in a long time. His cock felt so warm and heavy inside me. It felt really good. I cannot lie about that.

But the second I got in my car to drive home the regret hit me hard. I felt sick to my stomach the whole way. My husband has been trying so hard lately. He has been eager and open minded and doing everything he can to make me happy. And I went behind his back and cheated on him again. He does not deserve any of this. I feel disgusted with myself for lying to him and for being so weak.

I have decided I need to tell him the truth. Not every detail but at least about this one time. Tonight or tomorrow I am going to sit him down and confess that I cheated. I cannot keep lying to his face anymore. He deserves to know what I have done. I am terrified of how he will react. He might be completely devastated or even leave me. But I have to do this.

I still love my husband so much. I hate myself for hurting him like this. The physical pleasure was real but it is not worth all this guilt and secrecy. I feel ashamed and exhausted right now.

I will try to update after I talk to him.

It’s been 16 days since my last post, and so much has happened. I had a long conversation with my best friend yesterday, and it really affected me.

I told her everything, how my husband has become so eager and open-minded with the toys, how intense our sessions have gotten, and how I’m still getting messages from the other man. Her reaction was very supportive but also honest. She listened carefully and said, “Honestly, it sounds like your husband is finally stepping up and trying to give you what you need. That’s hot. You should enjoy it.”

When I told her about the other man’s latest message, she smiled and said, “Look, you tried to be good. You gave your marriage a real chance to improve. But if your body is still craving that deep, full feeling that your husband can’t naturally give you… maybe you don’t have to feel so guilty about it. Life is short. As long as you’re safe and careful, one more time isn’t going to destroy your marriage.”

She even added, “Besides, from what you’ve described, that man sounds like he knows exactly how to satisfy you. Don’t deprive yourself forever.” Her words made me feel less ashamed and more justified. She’s always been the friend who encourages me to be honest about my desires.

At home, things have become much spicier. Two nights ago we had an incredibly hot session with the cock sleeve. While he was deep inside me, I moaned about how good it felt to finally be stretched. I told him sincerely, “I need to feel really full… so thick that it almost hurts at first. Thick and big is what makes me orgasm. I need that deep, stretching fullness to really cum hard.” Then I added: “But you’re the one making me this wet, baby.” My soft lies drove him wild. He got even harder and fucked me with the sleeve much more aggressively, making me cum twice.

Last night we went even further. He asked me to talk dirty while he used the big dildo on me. I described in detail how I crave a really thick, warm, throbbing cock stretching me open and filling me completely. He was breathing heavily, visibly jealous, but extremely turned on. He kept pumping the toy deeper while saying, “Tell me more… I want to hear everything.” Afterward he held me and said, “I hate that I’m not naturally enough for you… but I love making you cum like this.”

The other man messaged me again yesterday: “It’s been over a month. I keep thinking about how tight you felt and how hard you came for me. When can I see you again?” Reading it made me instantly wet.

I feel excited and more confident after talking to my friend. My husband is trying so hard and our sex has never been this charged. I’m loving this new energy in my marriage…

Things at home have been evolving in exciting ways.

Over the past two weeks my husband has become much more eager and open minded. Last weekend I introduced the cock sleeve. He was nervous but willing. After I helped him put it on, I guided him inside me. The added thickness felt so good that I moaned loudly. During the session I told him, “Size really does matter to me. I love you and everything we have together, but I need to feel stretched and completely full sometimes. It’s a physical need.” His reaction was mixed. I saw jealousy flash across his face and he said, “So some other guy could make you feel better than me?” There was clear hurt in his voice, but he was also rock hard and continued moving. Later he told me, “I want to make you happy… I’m willing to keep trying new things if it helps.” That meant a lot to me.

We’ve also had deeper dildo sessions. A few nights ago he spent a long time using the big toy on me. He was confident, moving it slowly and deeply while asking how I wanted it. I came very hard and praised him for being so attentive. Seeing him so eager to please me and trying to understand my needs has made me feel excited and more justified in exploring this side of myself.

At the same time, I’ve been fantasizing more openly. When he uses the sleeve or the dildo on me, I close my eyes and picture the other man’s thick, warm, real cock stretching me. These fantasies have become stronger and more frequent.

I finally replied to the other man’s message yesterday. I told him I’ve been thinking about him too and that I’m still tempted, but I didn’t agree to meet him yet. I kept it vague and said I need a little more time to figure things out. His reply was quick and flirty, which only made the temptation stronger.

I still love my husband deeply and I’m really happy with how hard he’s trying and how open minded he’s becoming. But I’m also becoming more accepting that my body has needs that go beyond what he can naturally give me.

I don’t know where this is heading, but right now I feel more excited about the possibilities than guilty. The changes at home feel good at least.

It’s been two weeks since I saw him the second time. I went on a two-day business trip earlier this week, and it gave me a lot of time alone with my thoughts. During the trip I decided to seduce my husband from afar. I sent him several teasing photos of myself in the hotel room. I started with some in my blouse unbuttoned a little, then changed into a short silk slip. In the later ones I let the straps fall off my shoulders and pulled the hem up high on my thighs. I told him how much I missed him and that I was feeling naughty thinking about him.

My ulterior motive was to get him really turned on and desperate for me. I hoped that making him horny while I was away would make him more open and eager when I got home, especially with the dildo, my fantasies and the kind of fullness I keep asking for. I wanted him to start associating my needs with his own excitement. He responded very well. When I got home last night he was noticeably eager to please me. The energy between us felt different, more charged. I asked him to use the big dildo on me and he agreed right away. He took his time working it inside me, watching closely as I stretched around it. He seemed more into it than before, moving the toy exactly how I guided him and staying hard the entire time. Afterward he told me he has been thinking about everything I said and that he wants to understand my needs better. He even said he is willing to be more open minded about trying new things if it makes me happy.

It felt like real progress and made me hopeful. But even with that positive step, my mind kept going back to the other man. Yesterday he messaged me again, very direct: “I can’t stop thinking about how tight and wet you were last time. I need to feel you again. Can you get away this week? I’m free any afternoon. I want to take my time with you and make you cum as many times as you can handle.” Reading it made me instantly wet. The guilt is fading more and more. I still love my husband deeply and I’m really happy he is making an effort to understand me and be more open minded. At the same time I am becoming more honest with myself that my body craves that real thick warm fullness the other man gives me.

The business trip made me realize how easy it would be to meet him while I am traveling for work. I don’t know what I’ll do next. Part of me wants to focus on building this new openness with my husband. Another part is strongly tempted to reply to that message and set up another meeting soon.

I did it. Wednesday afternoon I met him at the motel.

I walked in wearing my short red sundress. The moment the door closed he pulled me close and kissed me. He quickly pushed the dress up around my waist and untied my tiny red lace thong, letting it fall to the floor.

Before he entered me, I got on my knees and took him in my mouth. I sucked him slowly, loving how his huge cock felt. It was so thick and heavy, and for those moments it felt like I belonged there on my knees with him filling my mouth. I could barely fit half of him, but the weight and warmth made me feel strangely content.

He laid me on the bed and spread my legs. When he pushed inside me, the stretch felt even more intense than I remembered. I gasped as he slowly worked his thick cock deeper until he was fully inside. The fullness was overwhelming. I came quickly, my body was shaking.

We went for hours, switching positions. He took me from behind, then let me ride him, and later had my legs over his shoulders. I lost count of how many times I came. Each time felt deeper and stronger than with the dildo or my husband.

In the final round he pulled out and came across my stomach and chest. “You needed this, didn’t you?” he said as he looked at me. We stayed in the room for a while afterward, resting and touching each other lightly. He kissed me before I left and told me I felt even better than last time.

The drive home was strange. I still feel pleasantly sore and stretched. When my husband greeted me and asked about my day, I lied and said the lunch and errands went fine. I even kissed him normally.

The guilt is there, but it’s not as overwhelming as after the first time. Right now I mostly feel satisfied and calm. The craving is still present, but it feels more like quiet excitement about seeing him again than desperate need.

I told myself it would be just one more time, but Wednesday showed me how much I’ve been missing. I don’t know what I’ll do next, but for now I’m not panicking.

A couple of nights ago i decided to push things a little further with my husband. After we got into bed, I told him I needed to feel full and asked if he would use the dildo on me this time instead of just watching. He hesitated for a long moment but finally nodded. I lay on my back, spread my legs wide, and handed him the thick toy. It felt heavy in my hands as I gave it to him.

I was already dripping wet just from thinking about it. He pressed the big, realistic head against my entrance and started to push slowly. I gasped as it stretched my lips apart. I whispered “slower… let me feel it open me up.” He pushed inch by inch while I moaned and gripped the sheets. My pussy clenched around the thickness as it went deeper, filling me in a way his cock never could. When it was about halfway in, I told him to twist it gently and push a little harder. He did, but I could see the discomfort on his face. Still, he kept going until I had almost the entire length inside me. I was breathing hard, my legs shaking as the stretch turned into that deep, overwhelming pressure I crave. I started rocking my hips, fucking myself on the toy while he held it steady. I begged, “Deeper, make me take all of it.” He pushed it further until I felt so full I could barely think. I rubbed my clit at the same time and came hard, my whole body tensed. Even as I came, my mind flashed back to the real thing, how much warmer, heavier, and more alive it felt.

When I finally came down, he slowly pulled the dildo out and handed it back to me without saying a word. He looked torn, part aroused, part upset. I tried talking to him right after. I told him how much I love him and want to feel close, but that I sometimes need to feel really full to be satisfied. I mentioned the cock sleeve idea again, saying it could help us both enjoy it. He just stared at the floor and mumbled “I don’t know… maybe.” He didn’t get angry, but he clearly doesn’t want to go there yet. The room felt quiet afterward.

That session only made everything worse. The dildo gave me a strong orgasm, but it’s still just cold silicone. It has no pulse, no heat, no throbbing veins. Every time I use it, it reminds me how incredible the real huge cock felt stretching me open and hitting places nothing else can reach.

I couldn’t fight the urge any longer. Yesterday I texted him and told him I want to see him again, just one more time. He replied almost instantly and we set it for this Wednesday afternoon. I lied to my husband and said I have some errands and a long “girls’ lunch” for that day. I’m constantly wet and distracted, my stomach fluttering every time I imagine walking into that room with him. I’ve already decided what I’m going to wear: a short red sundress that clings to my body and stops mid-thigh. It’s easy to pull up or slip off completely if things get heated fast. Underneath I’ll wear only a tiny matching red lace thong that can be untied with one tug. No bra. The color makes me feel bold and sexy.

I’m nervous as hell , my heart pounds every time my phone lights up but the excitement is overwhelming. Part of me still feels guilty toward my husband, but the hunger for that deep, warm, throbbing stretch is so much louder now. I keep telling myself it will just be this one more time to satisfy the craving. After Wednesday I’ll really focus on fixing things at home. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the next couple of days waiting. The wait is making me ache.