Fuck man can I get some advice. I fucked up almost clean
Used over 16 years. On it all besides heroin and accident got a fake 10 so taken fent once. To now, So I fucked up at day 14. Was taking 3-4 30mg Roxy’s (real deal holy grail) a dose, up to 20-25 a day some days with morphine or pink 10s plus hydros and then my mom died. I used a month later then was like fuck it she knows now so I gotta stop. I had been lying to her while she was dying. Hurt my soul. Was with her last breath shit fucked me up. I dropped the habit cold turkey which is crazy for dose and then been not working a lot or able to Function.
Now I just took one norco because the mental and physical pain is harassing me and I feel so dumb like I’m gunna go off the deep end again. But it was getting dark I thought about shooting myself in the head was rude to
My wife. Put a revolver against my head last night the mental is worse than the physical Any words of advice? Maybe 2 more pills today then stop ? Switch to bupe? and get shot? Kratom no 70h? I wanna have a kid I’mmk turning 35 in 3 days man. God Damn thanks for listening.