Revealing my wife’s cruel side and loving it... And becoming pussy nudity free
As I’ve already written here, my relationship underwent some changes almost a month ago. In fact, we’ve only just come to terms with these changes… From being a sadistic Dom owner of a masochistic sub, I’ve officially become a masochistic, chaste, sissy and submissive sub. And she’s become a Domme, though she claims she isn’t sadistic.
According to her, her cruelty toward me isn’t driven by her own sadism, but by seeing how happy it makes me. But I think she’s starting to enjoy it, and I’m revealing a sadist to the world...
It’s true that the dominant side of her is growing the fastest. And that makes sense to me, since she’s always been very dominant in life, and I believe that these last few years, even before me, when she got involved with the BDSM community, it was an experiment, a phase serving as an outlet for her life. But, naturally, she is dominant, and she doesn’t deny it. I don’t complain, because when I met her she was very submissive, and we clicked because I was very dominant, and we were both in that phase.
Having someone do things for her, take care of her, give her foot massages when she’s just lying on the couch with her feet on my lap, it’s something she herself said she’d get used to quickly. She thought other things would take longer, like instead of asking with “please,” just giving orders, but that’s becoming more and more natural. And, importantly, not just in a sexual context, even though doing so gives the act itself a sexual flavor to me. Yesterday while cooking, she ordered me to get things, and she didn’t say “please” even once! More than that, she spoke every time in an assertive, commanding tone, and apparently, at least to me, it didn’t seem like any effort at all, but a natural command. And that turned me on tremendously.
However, the fact that she turns me on that way has become a “problem”. Because, as part of her emerging sadism, which I hope she’ll recognize one day, after I mentioned that I’d like to hand over control of my useless little dick to her, things changed. We haven’t held the caging ceremony yet, but she has caged me in the strongest and most definitive way: mentally. She ordered, at first at my suggestion, that I could no longer masturbate or cum without her control. And for a chronic masturbator for over more than thirty years, during which time I only went three or four days without masturbating because I was very sick, it’s not easy at all.
On the tenth day, I wrote a diary entry for her describing the effects I felt from it, and I realized she enjoyed reading it, it turned her on. On the fourth day, I was out on the street, on my way to an appointment, and I had to text her asking for permission to come, because I was afraid it might happen accidentally and make everything very difficult. She let me, but... she ordered it to be a ruined orgasm.
Eight days later, I hadn’t cum again, and we were both lying on the couch, she in just her panties and me naked with a collar around my neck, and she was enjoying my suffering, because with every touch of her body, every squeeze and caress (which she loves), I moaned like a little slut in heat, my cock throbbing with desire, my useless dick pulsing and my body spasming. And I saw, at that moment, how much she was enjoying herself. She ran her hand through my hair, and I trembled, and she enjoyed it, smiling, but a smile that was no longer just about seeing me happy and aroused, but because she realized the control she has over me and how much I desire her.
That day, she showed me how generous she was, telling me to grab her clitoral stimulator. While she used it, she told me to touch myself and let me come. And I, a lifelong delayed ejaculator, for the first time, came prematurely, lasting less than a minute and ejaculating an amount I had never seen before, perhaps not even in porn movies: I got cum all over my stomach. It was an eruption of cum and pleasure.
But there was one cruel detail she added to this process, and I hadn’t imagined it, even though I’d mentioned that I’d read about it on the pussyfree subreddits I frequent, which was that, of her own accord, she forbade me from looking at her pussy. I think it started by chance, even before this period of chastity, when she was a little sore down there, and didn’t want me to do our lesbian sex where I rub my “clitoris” against hers, and she stayed in her panties, so I ended up coming by rubbing my useless thing against her belly. And I think that even though that was a practical decision at the time, she realized how turned on I got from the prohibition. And on the day she let me come, last Saturday, she stayed in her panties the whole time, and when she used the suction device, she pulled a blanket over it so I couldn’t see. But up to that point, it could have just been to cater to my denial fetish. However, between the two moments, she took off her panties, and I caught a glimpse, very quickly, of her beautiful pussy, the most beautiful of all, and I immediately turned my face away, feeling guilty, but so turned on that I must have let out a moan. She laughed at that, and I saw in her eyes her pleasure not in my fetish, or maybe in that too, but mainly her pleasure in seeing the control she has over me and how she gives me pleasure with something that for other couples would be normal, everyday life, like catching a glimpse of each other’s genitals.
And she added another rule right then: I could run my hand over her, feel her, and squeeze her just the way we both liked, but my hand could only go as far as the crease between her thigh and her groin, not touching her there, not even over her panties. This is absurdly cruel, because she knows how much I love to feel her wetness, her texture, her scent. And she took great pleasure, a sadistic, dominant pleasure, in my moans and my writhing as I ran my hand over that area and couldn’t go any higher.
I apologized for catching a glimpse of her pussy, and I must admit that, upon seeing it like that, I strangely felt very ashamed and guilty, as if I had seen something I shouldn’t have. It was like seeing the forbidden face of a God. And, to me, she is my Aphrodite! That is why I call her only Goddess. More than a slave, I am her worshipper, the prophet of her power and beauty.
Ever since then, whenever she’s naked, even in the shower, I keep my gaze at eye level. Every now and then, I look down at her breasts, which she hasn’t forbidden me to see yet, but that might happen as things progress.
I think she’ll only let me see her pussy again when she’s fucking other guys and I’m in my cuckold role, just to put me in my place. But who knows, maybe she won’t even let me in on those moments, maybe she’ll blindfold me and make me just listen… I don’t know. I wouldn’t have imagined that of her before, but given the cruelty I see emerging in her, and I love it, I don’t know what new ideas will spring from the brilliant mind of my Goddess!
I admit I miss seeing her pussy. It’s my favorite sight in the world. On FetLife there are photos of her on my profile and on hers (and, to avoid seeing them, I don’t look at my photos anymore, nor will I look at hers, I used to look at them many times to masturbate when she wasn’t home). And I really miss being able to go down on her. I hope she makes me lick her again, but in her budding cruelty, she’ll blindfold me or forbid me from looking while I do it.
I’m loving seeing this sadism grow in her, even though she doesn’t admit it, and I feel proud to be the one driving it in her. I love sharing my life and my madness with her.
I love you, my Goddess of pleasure, my dominant and sadistic Goddess, even if you won't admit it!