u/Cumbucha_GreenTea

I had a friend visiting me, and we have a casual, intimate relationship. During her stay, she found herself hit with an unexpected job interview, and I'm pretty proud of my fucking stay-at-home hubby moves. And something about it really made me think soft dom.

She basically got a text and was asked to do a Zoom meeting the next morning. Generally, I'm the get up early and be productive guy, and she's the stay in bed and hibernate guy. So, I looked to do some supporting. I woke up earlier than the interview and started setting up the environment for her. I cleaned up the background to where the camera would be pointing in my office, logged in to her Zoom account on my computer, picked up a sweet treat from an early cafe(she does better waking up with desserts than me making eggs and some protein), brewed some green tea, and played some Baba Yetu ( great song to slowly wake up to, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noneMROp\_E8). She took it from there. I gave her some privacy and left the apartment to make sure I didn't distract. I took the time to go to the grocery store, get ingredients for a fruit smoothie, hit the gym, and get back 15 min after it was scheduled to be done, to make a smoothie reward for her getting through it.

Why am I mentioning this in the softmaledom subreddit? It's because after all that, we had some pretty good, roleplay stay at home hubby soft dom fucking. I think something about that interaction just made her feel princessy, and that just carried the momentum into a fun time. In short, roleplay being a stay at home hubby sometimes, fellas, it might make for some great sex after and or during.

Sincerely,

some guy on reddit.

This might seem controversial at first, but I think it will make more and more sense as you read on. I'm writing this because of a situation I had with someone who recently visited me. And it reminded me of a lesson that you really only learn from being in a relationship. The short of it is, regardless of what she says she's into or wants, if the physical clues in front of you say, "she's not into it", trust those instead.

It might seem weird to disregard what she says she's into or wants, if the physical clues in front of you say otherwise, but seriously, trust those first. I had a friend visit me from the northeast who told me, both in the past and again right before visiting, that she likes the idea of being played with in her sleep. So, I planned to do just that when she was visiting.

Halfway through her stay here, we had already fooled around a few times, and I went in to make that fantasy a reality. I swirled my finger on my tongue and started to play with her down there. My expectation was to first see confusion, but when the realization pops in, there would be a whole lot of ecstasy.

What actually happened was that a concerned expression grew, and then what looked like panic took over. I think a lot of men make a mistake here because they assume this is part of it, or she likes the feeling of panic, or they just don't notice a negative response. The fact is, sometimes we say things we don't mean, sometimes we think we want something until we actually feel what it's like. I could tell she wasn't into it, so I transitioned what I was doing, being more of a caretaker, and tucking her back into bed.

When she woke up, we talked about it. I asked if she remembered last night, if she actually liked it, and if I remembered correctly that she mentioned she liked the idea (I don't think I'd ever misremember that; you just ask anyway, so your partner knows why you did this). And, if it turns out she was fine with it, it's not a problem. You can just go at it another time, but as I suspected, it turns out she bit off more than she can chew, which we all do from time to time. Turns out, after actually trying it, she didn't like it, no matter how confident she was when talking about it.

So, if you intend to be a good soft dom. Don't just make a verbal agreement and then make it happen. Keep paying attention, look to see if she is actually enjoying it, and if she isn't, stop. It doesn't matter if she said she would like it; if you clearly see she doesn't, it's worth checking.

Happy, gentle domming fellas

Sincerely,

some guy on reddit.