r/softmaledom
what do doms get out of the arrangement?
it's not like i can't understand the kinds of things someone in the dom role might enjoy in a dom/sub dynamic. i can imagine some of it for sure, maybe even relate to parts at times. but honestly, i do sometimes struggle to fully understand it. and so i like to explicitly hear their own perspectives, rather than simply trying to model the other side on my own.
as someone who's mostly a sub (though only in romantic and/or sexual contexts, otherwise kind of assertive and competitive, lol), i like the attention and care whether it's something rougher and more intense in roleplaying or a softer and more wholesome scenario. but sometimes i start to feel bad and like i'm taking advantage of the other person, basking in attention and getting the kind of experience i enjoy while my partner does so much of the "work" involved.
i try to make sure i'm not treating the person as a mere "service provider" and work to express enthusiasm and care, voice appreciation, give feedback, and reciprocate in what other ways i can, both within and outside the dynamics/scenes as is appropriate.
still though, it feels to me like there is a lot more emotional and physical labor involved for people in the dom role along with more required cognitive overhead, and i start worrying about being selfish and unfair towards them.
maybe it only feels like “work” or “labor” when i think about it from my perspective, but it doesn’t feel that way for doms because they genuinely enjoy it. or maybe it is work, but they don’t mind because it’s fun and satisfying. or maybe it is work, and it can be tiring sometimes, even if it’s also enjoyable. or maybe something else?
i guess what i’m trying to understand is what the experience feels like from the dom side. what makes it rewarding, what parts feels effortful if/when that's the case, what are your personal feelings about the balance and dynamic overall? what are your general thoughts here?
The best of both worlds.
When he knows how to dominate and love all at once.
Do I need to be a brat?
I’ve (F23) been spending more time lurking on this sub and reading posts from similar subs and I absolutely love the idea of a dom setting rules and structures for me in my day-to-day life. I enjoy reading about the nsfw and sfw tasks and I feel like I would thoroughly enjoy that dynamic—especially the sfw structure as I’m not an incredibly sexually driven person.
Irl, I am hyper independent and very responsible—I live alone and spend most of my time working on myself and hanging out with my cat. I am assertive when I need to be, confident in myself, and I socialize well; but I feel unfulfilled and unbalanced. I want to be able to let go and have a dominant figure completely take the reins. I want turn my brain off and do exactly what I’m told—for example, letting the dom pick out my clothes or tell me what to eat and how much.
That being said, I am not a bratty person. I don’t really have a desire to disobey or push back against authority (at least in this context). Is this an issue/something that most doms wouldn’t like? I see a lot of discussions and posts pertaining to brats and that being a huge part of the play, but I don’t enjoy doing that and will happily follow orders. Is it healthy to have a certain amount of brattiness in the dynamic? Will things be boring if I’m not a brat? I’ve never been in a dom/sub dynamic (besides an evil ex bf when I was 19 lol) and I’m craving this type of connection more and more.
Would love to hear thoughts from anyone :’)
Edit: thank u for your thoughtful DMs ahaha :p I don’t use Reddit often so I am a bit overwhelmed, apologies if I don’t respond!
Introductions and getting to know each other
I have had a long term partner before that ended, but I recently decided to come back to try to find a new partner. I meet people online fairly often, we chat for a bit, but before any play I make sure we discuss things like safe words, limits, and expectations. We get through it, but afterwards they seem to completely lose interest or just ghost me.
Here’s where I need help. Consent and agreeing on what we’re looking for is important, as I’m looking for a long term. What do you expect a dom to do, how to bring it up, and what turns you off?
I know talking about this isn’t fun, but it’s important and that is where I’m losing people. Any tips?
[by Jxh 119] Just kitty thangs. I like petplay because I get to act cringe without feeling embarrassed lol
Y'all better be prepared, I'm gonna unleash all my petplay shit onto here
Acts of service
Just a quick thought to spur discussion, before I determined I have a soft dom nature I realized that my love language is acts of service and this on its face sounds like servitude not dominance. But I’m sure many of you realize that as doms we are in service to our subs. Just part of the sweet irony of life.
Tasks for Unowned Subs #60 - Final
Hia!
Over the past couple months I've been doing these little tasks in the morning, I've heard from so many different and wonderful people.
Some people thought these were silly fun, others popped in from time to time, others were at nearly every task. I got messages about how many appreciated the small accomplishment they could do every day. How it helped with loneliness or isolation, or with getting through a difficult time.
It was all you though. If you completed one of these tasks, it's because you were capable. You got them done! I couldn't be more proud.
I want to remind you, you reading this, that I appreciate you being here and what you bring to the community.
I'm a sucker for things like this.
Task for 2026-07-07
Like the first task, today you will make your bed
Do it up real nice! Don't just stuff the sheet under the duvet cover or quilt to hide it. Make sure the pillows are fluffed and ready for you tonight.
How do I seek a soft male dom who's respectful and would take care of me, someone I can talk to after a day, am I still seeking for a dom? I mean I still want to submit to him but not just in a sexual way. I want him to make me a better person. What's wrong with me 😭😭😭
reddit.comIn the Mirror (Ramble)
I’ve been thinking about orgasms lately.
(Shocker, I know.)
About the ways in which we use them to express ourselves— perhaps not a reflection, but maybe a refraction of our mood. I suppose it makes sense. And the vulnerability of the ways we share and demonstrate it to each other is just something I find quite touching.
…Also I’m horny and thought I’d jot down my thoughts to see where they go…
—
You were proud of yourself.
I heard the bleep bleep of the lock and the always-unnecessarily-loud bang of the hotel room door slam shut as you burst in with such… buoyancy. The ponytail that I’d watched you style so meticulously had a life of her own.
You were already mid-conversation. With me, sure, but also with yourself, talking a mile a minute about your presentation, so excited and so effing proud of yourself. Didn’t wait for me to ask how it went, just gave me the full download with breathless glee. You dropped your purse unceremoniously on the chair, kicked off your uncomfortable big girl shoes, then… slinked? No- slid? Yourself over the slick white duvet of the our bed. I was sitting there working on my laptop. Smiling as I watched you. The look in your eye, and this feline, prowl-y stretch you were doing on the bed… you sparked a big toothy grin before inviting yourself into my space, finding a nice spot to nuzzle into my neck.
I looked down and listened attentively. Watching your eyes sparkle with pride.
It was so sexy. You told me every detail- all the reactions and feedback you got until you finally trailed off. Your body clearly buzzing with that endorphin rush of a huge success.
When you paused briefly, an idea hit me.
“Come with me.” I said playfully pulling you to your feet.
Guiding you to the full length mirror in our room, I stood behind you, whispering your ear.
“You are amazing. And I want you to see the way you look to me. I want you to study my eyes in the mirror, as I look at you. Look at them for long time. Then look at yourself.”
And so we did.
My eyes… absolutely drank you in. Taking my time to savor every line and curve. Your eyes locked on mine, the depth of my craving was palpable.
“I think you are beautiful.”
I spoke the words plainly. My voice was a low rasp, and your eyes fell back on yourself. You have always liked your body but… you look extra good today. Chin up, shoulders back, full of self-regard. It was… an aphrodisiac, to say the least.
“Undress.” I commanded quietly.
You looked into my eyes for a beat, and obeyed.
Smirking up at me now, you unbuttoned your shirt. Looking into my eyes as I watched you.
My hands rested on your hips. The well-pressed fabric of your shirt, the one you anguished over picking out for your presentation fell carelessly to the floor.
It was as though there was firelight flickering in my hazel eyes. And it was apparently contagious, quickly spreading to warm someplace inside of you, to warm your womb.
You didn’t miss a beat, slinking your way out of your pants, wanting to make it sexy but who can really make taking good pants off sexy. At one point you had to do a little flip of your ankle to kick them off. Still the look in my eyes displayed how utterly charmed I was. You felt me press my hips against you. Your thong rubbing my zipper, you felt the way I was pulsing to life against you.
You unfastened your bra, and slipped out of your glistening thong, the vulnerability overwhelming, as my hands moved from your hips to wrapping around your waist, pulling you in to me, feeling the warmth of us together. I rested my chin on your shoulder, letting you feel the soft fur of my beard nuzzle you, and I smiled the most delighted smile as my gaze met yours.
“I’m stunned by you.”
Of course it was only fair if I let you undress me too.
You started with my belt, which I thought was funny but you’ve always been pretty open about saying what you want. You unfastened my pants. Scooting them down my hips as your eyes smirked up at me.
You were losing patience as you practically tore the seams of my soft tshirt to get it off me.
And you pulled the elastic of my boxer briefs wide open, exposing me, playfully looking down and barking OW OWWWW- then cackling like a maniac and snapping the elastic back against me.
“Okay-“ I trailed off abruptly as I scooped you up into my arms, letting you feel lithe and weightless before-
Throwing you onto our hotel bed.
You landed with a bounce and a squeal, resting on your elbows, looking up at me as I moved toward you.
“Wait-“ you blurted. “We skipped a part I really wanted.”
I watched you clamber off the bed, marveling at your frame as you landed on your knees before me.
You peeled the waistband of my underwear tenderly this time, tugging them down over my thighs and off. I was hard, heavy, the soft smooth flesh standing at attention, hovering at eye level and testifying to just how virile I’ve been feeling.
“Hi handsome.” You murmured softly before kissing his tip. Resting your plump lips pursed around his opening then looking up to make sure I was watching-
As you pushed your face down over me.
“Fuuuuuuck.”
The deep satisfaction in my voice was palpable. I’m sure it served as encouragement, but I could still feel you struggle, feel the slight strain as you endeavored to go deeper. Perhaps ambitious but determined.
You pulled up, gasping for air, your eyes sparkling with wetness. I watched you spit on my cock, with such matter of fact utility, and laughed to myself at the thought that barely twenty minutes ago you were the boss giving her big presentation to a conference room full of serious people and now you were-
“Holy FUCK.” I lost focus for a moment and came back to your lips hitting the base of me.
“Oh my GOD how the fuck do you do that?” You looked up at me and laughed, a low rumble through a mouthful of cock, that same glint of pride, then pulled back, releasing me and laughing your way through a satisfied gasp. You felt my hand on the back of your head and were maybe about to say something when you felt me pull you back down.
There was no struggle this time. No strain. My cock sunk into that pretty little mouth of yours with an ease.
I looked down and watched your eyes dim slightly- the way the lights in a plane cabin will do down when you’ve reached cruising altitude and you’re safe in the knowledge that someone else is at the helm.
I’m not entirely certain if there’s a “respectful” way to turn your pretty face into my personal fucktoy, but I endeavored to find it. I wasn’t greedy or mean. I didn’t push past your limits for the hell of it. But I did fall into a steady rhythm. The glucks and gasps soft at first then grew in intensity and volume.
I found myself wondering aloud- all those people who you just presented to, they were all staying at the same hotel weren’t they? Did we think any of them were on our floor? Next door? Would they recognize your voice?
That thought seemed to connect with you. Because I watched your hand move reflexively to your clit. Rubbing greedily as your throat slurped and gurgled away.
I pressed your head down, with a deep satisfied groan and my hips surged slow and relentless one final time, holding myself inside you, pushing your limits until…
I felt you truly yield. It was a loud, deep, slurpy gag. I eased up instantly- removing myself and lifting you into my arms as you gasped in recovery. Holding you tight, I cherished the messiest kisses in the world. Spit glazed down your chin and all over your tits. I did not call you a slut or degrade you. I wanted you to savor this feeling of being both treasured and claimed. Gulping for air and desperate for kisses all at once.
Your gasps gave way to laughter. Mostly in pride but partly in disbelief. Asking yourself holy shit did I really just do that? My eyes steadied you. Reassuring you that you were not a bad person and you did not have to turn in your feminist card just because you occasionally wanted to feel like someone’s favorite fucktoy.
I let my hands frame your jaw. Making sure your gaze fixed on mine. I needed this connection, this grounding. I kissed your forehead as you looked up into my eyes through some fuzzy haze.
My arms moved abruptly. Shoving you forward with enough firmness to make you squeal in surprised and delighted glee.
Your arms landed on the bed, so that you were standing, bent over.
You felt me reach forward and take your wrists, moving them so your hands rested on your ass.
Then you felt my hand on the top of your head, turning it steadily until your eyes found the mirror on the other side of the room.
It was the same mirror we stood before earlier.
Here we were again.
I wanted you to see yourself again. To see us. So that you could see my desire- burning in my eyes and surging in my cock.
“Spread.”
My voice parted the clouds in your mind.
Your eyes locked on mine. They hadn’t changed. That same joy and pride glowed. You weren’t broken or tamed. In fact you gave that same toothy grin you couldn’t contain when you first walked in.
I glanced down and saw your hands move with such measured obedience. You didn’t just pull at your cheeks. You arched your back. Pressed your chest down onto the comforter.
It was such a beautiful moment. I felt honored to get the witness it.
As your pretty little pussy
Transformed
Into a ripe little cunt.
I stooped suddenly. You saw in the mirror as I got down on my knees.
And drank deep of your nectar.
Taking a moment to draw your clit deeep between my lips. Latched on her and nursing.
“Ohhhh fuck you.” Your smile was infectious. Your voice was husky, rooted in your chest now.
I made you watch as I pulled back.
And spat on this juicy little cunt with the same flat, utilitarian verve you’d made me watch earlier.
I heard the gasp that elicited from your lips. And the playfully mused “Oh mah gawd…” as you thrilled at the sight and tried to remember if you’d ever watched someone spit on your pussy before.
“Okay now fuck me.” Your tone was so bright but losing patience. I looked at you in the mirror and smiled.
“Sorry I can stop talking.” I watched a brief rush of uncharacteristic self consciousness wash over you.
I stood. Let you watch me loom over you. Taking stock of our size difference.
As I rubbed the thick, powerful head of my cock over the gleaming mess that was once known as your vulva.
“What about our dynamic makes you think I don’t like listening to the sound of your voice?” I saw you smile. Then-
“FUCCCCCCKKK—“ we both bellowed in gutteral harmony as I entered you.
From there it was like the floodgates had opened. You were just as you were when you bounced in the room. You couldn’t shut up.
As I thunderclapped into you, with steady determination, letting the eager squelches of your hungry little cunt echo in the room and in the halls of the hotel-
You told me you adored the way I felt inside you. How I seemed to occupy every bit of available space. How the stretch was just- sooo so SO… so fucking good.
You rambled about how you were thinking about sucking my cock right before your presentation and wondered if anyone could tell.
You asked if you felt tighter. And admitted you’d been doing more kegels in the office while you answered emails.
You told me you had bragged to your friend about our last encounter. About the way you were surprised and a little embarrassed about squirting and appreciated the tenderness in how I’d reassured you.
You rambled about your childhood fascination with the hot fox from Robin Hood and wondered if the seeds of your submissive tendencies came from your crush on Captain Von Trapp from The Sound of Music.
You announced your first orgasm with a grunty bit of surprise, as if she’d snuck up on you.
“Oh fuck I’m cuhhh-“ was all you got out before I looked in the mirror and saw you go momentarily crosseyed and braindead.
I took the cue from the soft clenches inside you and steadied my pace, then pushed inside and just held myself firmly against your gspot. Letting your convulsions build as you shuddered and lost your train of thought. Hell, seemed to lose your mind.
You gasped as you felt it crest in your core then laughed as you made it to the other side.
When my hips only picked up the pace your face cracked into this beautiful, blissed out smile.
From there you were no less verbal but far less coherent. Mostly curses and pleas.
One phrase that stood out- sometime around the peak of your second orgasm- you blurted clear as day-
“FUCK THIS CUNT LIKE YOU OWN HER.”
Which… I’ll admit I’m not easily shocked, but that one surprised me. I imagined what someone hearing that coming through the walls of their hotel room might think.
I obeyed. Obviously. And fucked your very majestic vagina with a vigor and thoroughness that may not have suggested she was property, per se, but did assume responsibility for her care, well-being and upkeep.
As I thumped loudly away, I watched as my cock grew thick with the fresh cream of your well-fucked cunt. Churning your arousal to butter.
Transfixed by this wondrous little detail, my had gripped your asscheek, squeezing with unmistakable possessiveness. I don’t know what came over me but my thumb drifted over and just… massaged the rim of your taut, perky asshole. Teasing and caressing with such casual familiarity. As my thumb traced firm little circles there, the surprise seemed to get the better of you.
You announced you were going to cum again.
“Good girl.” Was my terse reply. Those words threatened to undo you. You felt my other hand wrap around your ponytail and yank, so that your head reared back like a freshly bridled mare.
Then the sharp smack of my hand on your ass made you clench down reflexively on me. It seemed to set off a chain reaction inside of you- the first domino to fall before everything collapsed. I felt the contractions building in intensity. Your body quivered and your legs gave out as I felt you tumbling over the edge.
It was in that moment I realized I’d been so focused on your body I’d lost track of my own.
It felt like waking up in a hurricane. Winds roiling. Waters raging. Every alarm inside me was blaring. Something was welling up from the deepest parts of me. It had already breached containment. I was about to cum too. I didn’t even have time to give you any warning I just suddenly grunted, in pure, feral lust and-
“Oh my-Holy SHIT dude” was all you managed to blurt when you felt that first massive spurt of cum hit your cervix. It didn’t let up. The warmth radiated into you. I’m pretty sure it overrode your reproductive system and triggered an automatic fourth orgasm on the spot but I can’t be sure. I was beside myself in beautiful agony, emptying everything I had, everything I ever was, into your womb.
I fell forward onto you. Lavishing kisses on your back and shoulders and neck in between gasps for air and laughs in spite of myself.
I curled my arms around your ribs so that I could hold you as we both let the desperate power of our orgasms subside.
As we caught our breath, there were no more words needed.
Just heartbeats.
And the soft playful echoes of us practicing our kegels together inside you.
😻