u/CuriousNChubby

I think my wife of 20 years might have hooked up with her married childhood friend when he “brought her lunch” last week… and the fantasy won’t leave my head even though our marriage has been almost completely sexless.
My wife (45F) and I have been married for 20 years. We have two teenagers. On paper we look like a normal family, but behind closed doors our marriage has been dead in the bedroom for a long time. In the last year and a half we’ve probably only had sex three times total. She’s not interested, makes excuses, and I’ve basically given up initiating. It’s been incredibly lonely and frustrating.
She’s always been a bit… different. Very vanilla and changes subject when sex comes up, but will send pics or memes of women. She’s also bi-curious and has openly said she’s attracted to curvy women with big breasts — the same type as her own body.
A couple years ago she went through a rough breakup with a serious boyfriend that left her pretty traumatized. Since then she’s kept most guys at arm’s length, except for one platonic childhood friend she’s known forever. They originally met in high school and have supported each other through addiction recovery meetings and she’s always insisted their relationship is strictly platonic.
Last week she casually told me this guy (who’s married) started texting her out of the blue. Not once — seven times. Then she mentioned he offered to bring her lunch and actually showed up at her work (or wherever) with it. That was basically all the details she gave.
Then she added, almost offhand, “He’s always liked women with big booties. Like his wife.” Knowing full well she’s built exactly that way. I stupidly jumped in and asked, “Well… did you send him a picture or something?”
She just laughed, gave me this little smirk, but didn’t actually answer the question. Changed the subject like it was nothing.
Now I can’t stop thinking about it.
I keep fantasizing about what might have really happened that day. Him showing up with lunch after all those texts, them alone, years of “platonic” history between them, him finally getting close to the kind of body he’s always liked… and her, in a sexless marriage like ours, maybe finally feeling desired again. Maybe it started innocent and then went further. Maybe a lot further.
The worst part? Even though I’m jealous and angry and hurt, part of me is weirdly turned on by the idea. It’s pathetic, I know. Our sex life is basically nonexistent, and now I’m lying awake imagining my wife letting her married old friend do things to her that she hasn’t let me do in months.
She’s been acting completely normal since. No guilt, no extra affection, nothing. But that laugh and non-answer keep replaying in my head.
I don’t know if anything actually happened or if I’m just spiraling because of how neglected I’ve felt for so long. Has anyone else been in a long, sexless marriage where a “platonic” friend from the past suddenly reappears and you start obsessing over the possibilities?
How do I even bring this up without sounding paranoid or desperate? Or should I just keep it to myself?