Boyfriends sexual boundaries
32F dating 42M and struggling to wrap my mind around my boyfriends boundaries in sex.
Basically he wants anal sex really REALLY bad. He mentions it every time we have sex. Ive said no and hes mostly respected that except he will try to finger down there a little bit during sex at times... then ask again to ty it out.
I am extremely open minded sexually... like I will try just about anything... but my only rule is that whatever we try is equal on both sides (for example if the man wants a 3some I will do it if I also get a 3some).
I have this rule because I believe that chemistry stems from freedom and not control... and sex only catering to one person's pleasure is control.
I told him I would be more than happy to do anal if he would agree to have a butt plug in when we do it so that we both can experience it together. (This could be a tiny plug for all I care, I just want him to experience it with me)
He gets defensive and claims that men doing it isnt the same and its a NO from him. He even gets annoyed when I try to push his boundaries on it (as I am actually excited to try it if he would agree).
My bigger issue is that im not sure if this is a bigger red flag? Why are so many men like this? Its honestly disheartening.
He is otherwise an amazing guy who treats me with respect and love.