i'm a (19 F) freshman in college who grew up fucked up from having easy access to twitter porn but it's never gotten too far to the point where i'm watching it constantly (it'd only be every other week?) but i'm a huge fan of romance books and movies. cute and sappy. love the idea of a long term relationship.
however, if some of you are also fans of romance books, you may know that some of them can get spicy. i love that. it's built so many fantasies sexually. i'm currently reading a book and my tiktok fyp probably knows im ovulating rn and keeps giving me videos on "things i find attractive about men" and it'll be like "kissing while doing it" etc etc and LOOOORDD i get horny but i only have one vibrator that's disguised as a lipstick (recommend me something to try!!!)
BUT! here's my thing. i've told myself that it'd feel better sexually and i'd be in tune with my body and situation if i wait for a boyfriend. i didn't want to have one this year since i'm just figuring things out. but i go to a public uni that's huge and i'm sure i could find someone on instagram to hook up with for a one night stand and not make it a big deal.
what are we thinking folks? am i just being controlled by my hormones?