One bar prison with an optional vibrator attachment
This is a "one bar prison" that I built (in quotations cause obviously there's more than one bar).
Details:
It's made with structural steel pipe and pipe fittings (also known as Kee Klamps). The main pipe has a 1.315" outer diameter. The inner pipe has a 1" outer diameter, so it can slide up and down inside the outer one.
The way the pipe fittings work is by tightening a built-in bolt that pushes up against the pipe. The T-fitting I put at the top of the outer pipe has two bolts. The bottom bolt is secured against the outer pipe to keep the fitting in place. I drilled a hole in the outer pipe so that the top bolt goes through the outer pipe and secures the inner pipe in place.
The outer pipe is 18" in height and the inner pipe is 19" in height. This way it can be raised up to the preferred height, and then locked in place. (These heights are based on my estimation of the general crotch-height range of my girlfriend + all the smoking hot girls who come over to our house to have wild sex frequently.)
The dildo is silicone with a vac-u-lock base. A vac-u-lock base happens to fit perfectly on the top of a standard wooden painting extension pole. A wooden painting extension pole happens to fit *almost* perfectly inside the 1" pipe. I cut it to the same size as the inner pipe, sanded it down and with great effort and frustration hammered it into the pipe so that just the threading at the top was sticking out.
At the bottom is a cross bar where you can attach ankle cuffs. The attachment points are "crossover" fittings, with the bolts removed and replaced with eye-bolts. (They do make fittings that are made for attaching things to that would certainly look more sleek, but for some reason those are *significantly* more expensive than the crossover fittings ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).
The whole thing is attached to a piece of 3/4" plywood of........a certain size (I'm 99% sure it's 2 feet by 2 feet, but I'm only 50% sure of that.)
The plywood is stained in some sort of walnut bullshit. The pipes are all spray painted black, which is 100x more complicated than you want it to be (Comet + scouring pad, 2 coats of etching primer, 2 coats of spraypaint, it still comes off really easily). The part of the painting extension pole that sticks out the top is also spraypainted black.
Description of the vibrator attachment:
No they do not make black magic wands, but they SHOULD. I coated it with plasti-dip. It's the standard size rechargeable version of the Hitachi Magic Wand. The wand is held by two truss clamps of the size "whatever fits the magic wand and the pipes". (Where the truss clamps attach to the wand I wrapped the wand in a section of bicycle tube covered with electrical tape so that the clamps don't damage the plasti-dip or the wand itself.)
The wand is mounted via two pipes and two crossover fittings so that the height can be adjusted, and so that it can be tilted forward and backward to get the optimal position/pressure.
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^(In case you're wondering there are a few safety features as well!)
^(- There are dual airbags in case you crash the one bar prison)
^(- It has a built-in carbon monoxide detector, if there is carbon monoxide detected it calls the local fire department immediately)
^(- It has a built in smoke detector, if smoke is detected there is a sprinkler system built into the base that will put out the fire)
^(- In case you pass out while orgasming (INCREDIBLY common circumstance, unfortunately there is absolutely no way for you not to be impaled and die, HOWEVER before getting on to the one bar prison you will be asked to input your preferred animal to be re-incarnated as, and this request will be submitted to the deity of your choice (no guarantees! tips accepted)))
^(- If you happen to get sad, the one bar prison will grow an extra pipe arm and wipe your tears with a premium brand kleenex)
^(- There is also a shark sensor built in. If a shark comes within 25 feet of you there is a metal safety cage that will activate and surround you, protecting you from sharks. Also it will spray a shark spray towards the shark (the shark spray has been proven scientifically to be completely ineffective however some people think it has a placebo effect so hey why not?))
^(- If you are on the one bar prison during the airing of your favorite TV show and happen to miss it, it will TiVO it for you (except if it's Grey's Anatomy because that show is complete fucking garbage obviously))