u/DanRimi

I'm just curious cause we read a lot of stories about "bottom's first time" but never about tops. Storytime!

My ex and I had a really beautiful relationship. We had amazing chemistry, spent entire nights laughing together, communicated well, and never had toxic fights or major drama. Everything felt healthy except for one thing: we barely had a sex life.

It wasn’t because I didn’t want to. He mostly avoided intimacy, and after two years together he finally admitted he wasn’t physically attracted to me. He ended the relationship saying he wanted to explore sexually with other people and that he also felt insecure because I had more experience while he never really had his “wild phase.”

Three days after the breakup, one of my best friends sent me screenshots of my ex on Grindr. The profile was extremely explicit, looking for hookups, threesomes, and fetishes, basically all the things he never wanted with me.

That completely destroyed my self esteem. I cried for months, hated my body, and questioned my attractiveness, but over time I rebuilt myself and learned to love myself again.

Now, two years later (yes, two years) he called me asking for another chance. He says he didn’t appreciate me enough, hasn’t connected with anyone the way he connected with me, and had been wanting to contact me for months but didn’t have the courage.

Part of me understands him because I also dated other guys after the breakup, and I never connected with anyone the same way either.

The complicated part is that he was never cruel or disrespectful to me. When he admitted he wasn’t attracted to me, it wasn’t said to hurt me. It was more like a painfully honest conversation where he tried to be careful with my feelings, even though the situation still hurt deeply.

I’m 34 now and I’ve honestly never connected with anyone the way I connected with him. Even now, when we occasionally see each other because of work, we still laugh a lot and conversation feels natural and easy.

I’m not desperate to get back together, but I also can’t completely rule it out. I love the connection we have, but I’m terrified of ending up in the same situation again and reopening insecurities about my body and attractiveness.

I honestly don’t know what to think, but I'm open to advice. Thank you!

I'd love to see more twink-top in hunk bottom kind of content.

I love men in soccer uniform, what about you?