r/AskGayMen

Now this is my first time asking such questions on subreddit pardon the long wall of text.

While I know I could theoretically google this and I have done that but I wanted to ask more personally advice on that.

For reference I am a trans guy dating a cis gay guy. We both are open to doing stuff with eachother and have technically tried some of it. (We are also 19 so yeah... bit lost on that part) Anyways, Im not really aroused or into bottoming whatsover and he also is kinda into me topping him (and we did talk about that and he said its fine if ill just finger him first and then we move on to me using a strap at one point)

Anyways, we tried twice of me fingering him and it only worked the 2nd time, but... I couldnt find his prostate, now I have done all my reasearch and none of it worked. Everyone says its about 2-3 inches deep and that you should press upwards and do the motion of "come here" and I tried that but he said he cant feel anything, and honestly I couldnt feel either, there was no "walnut shape" or anything shaped up there, all I could feel was the walls. I am absolutely embarrassed because we have been talking about it for a while, he asked me 2 months ago If I could do it for him, cuz he did that to himself before but it was hard to reach properly, he even told me after 2nd time that he did technically feel his own prostate before but it was uncomfortable for him to do it himself. Anyways we are gonna try 3rd time this Friday and I really want it to work at least a bit.

Do you guys have any tips on how to find it or how to make it pleasurable, cuz we ended trying after few minutes cuz nothing worked ;<

Like I’m really insecure about my size. I’m only about 8 cm and not thick at all.. and my balls are small too... I’m also short lol I’m around 163 cm (5'4")... like atleast I can get hard and when I do I start leaking a lot of precum right away. I don't know if that's another turn off, but all of this makes me really insecure especially the size. I don't feel good about it and I’m having a hard time accepting it. I feel like it would be a turn off for a future boyfriend.

What do you look for in someone for a relationship? Body, dick, personality? Or is it a mix of everything? To be honest I don’t have much hope for myself,especially at this stage since I'm young (22 years old) because people this age tend to be quite mean and rude leaving others feeling really insecure.

and I see a lot of people saying they are vers. I think they might be the majority but I'm not entirely sure? I wouldn't mind being vers like a vers bottom (90% bottom) but with this dick I don't think I would be able to satisfy anyone. I just want to accept myself, be able to have sex without worrying, and then cuddle afterward. sry if this post is rude I'm just really insecure

So for some context I'm a 34 yo living on Florida and iv just lost interest really.

So about two years ago I was in the hospital with a blood clot in my body and it went to my lungs was scary. But after that I just lost interest in anything sexual. It wasn't that much of a chance I maybe only hooked up a couple times a year but then I still wanted to. Now I just don't care. Idk if it's my age or because I got sick or something I mean I'm far from being a 10 especially in this community (I'm a bigger guy and not great looking and shy) but idk maybe I'm just seeing if this happened to anyone else or if it's something I just deal with

He's straight and not the brightest mind out there. He believes that women want very particular things from men like a checklist. I don't have that list but I don't believe he checks anything.

We're two gay colleagues at work and we hung around a lot. Some people may assume we're having something sexual but we're having a bromance at best, nothing sexual.

He says that we look "normal" and he can't understand how we can find each other and other men attractive. We told him he doesn't have to be gay to understand that two people can be mutually attracted. I also told him that despite that I'm gay, beauty has no gender. I may look at a woman and think that she's very beautiful. This doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to her. He says he can't do that with men and that true men don't look other men.

He also said that it's a good thing we're gay because this means more women for him. He asked us if we're into him and my friend answered "heaven forbid". He got offended lmao.

A bonus thing: he asked a female colleague if she'd prefer me (or my friend) or him. She said any of us (me and my friend). They are cute, kind, have a stable job and make me laugh. I can oversee that they are not into women. But your face? I can't oversee this even if I was blind.

But seriously now, why some men "struggle" to just accept that some men are into other men. I mean is it so difficult?

Be brutally honest 😭

Is looking and being on both Scruff or Grindr a waste of time looking for a relationship?

I never really know what to say on the 'Looking for' section on Scruff because it feels a bit weird you are looking for a monogamous relationship on a hook up app.

How long realistically do you stay on these apps with the hope you will find a hookup or a relationship?

I think i am burnt out from trying with these apps and that doesn't even include dating apps like Hinge or Tinder.

Maybe i am just better just using Grindr to get hookups and having sexual needs met and join interest groups with the aim of meeting new connections.

But realistically i cannot see myself in a relationship and after many disappointments with men i think i would actually be happier to stay and just not date.

I've been struggling with the idea that I hookup A LOT. I was a virgin until I was 24 (always been gay but struggled finding the confidence to directly talk to guys due to fear of rejection).

Once I turned 24 its like a flip switched and I was having sex with anyone who was even remotely my type just to feel something. Im 27 now and although I really enjoy having sex the shame I feel afterwards outweighs the good feeling I get during it.

so im wondering if anyone has felt the same way and if you can maybe give some advice on how to get over it

I'm curious about what life of the extremely endowed looks like. What are the problems and pains? Do you like it? Do you get lots of attention?

How do the majority of you find Prince Albert piercings? Would you date someone who had one? What about for sex only?

A couple years ago I rather spontaneously got a Prince Albert after seeing them on a sub, and finding the look exceptionally hot. I’ve found guys to have relatively mixed opinions.

I can pop it out pretty easily if needed, so have not had much issue for sex. Wondering if anyone has had dating limitations or chosen not to date someone if they had this piercing?

Personally id love to find more or them, but I get it’s sort of a specific attraction

I( 31M) consider myself a good looking gay guy, who recently have downloaded dating apps like hinge and tinder but I’m not sure if the apps are not working or in reality the people around here are just not worth it.

On tinder I have over 600+ likes and around 100-200 matches of which I’ve send some messages and received some messages, but I can say that almost no one can maintain a conversation, like wtf? After a couple of messages nothing happens or they never respond if I send a first message, like what are you doing here?

This also happens on hinge where it should be a little bit more serious, there are some guys that do continue the convo but in reality nothing concrete happens (like going on a date or something), I’m not urgently looking for a boyfriend, also not pushing anyone to hangout or to message me but it definitely catches my attention that this happens with most of the guys.

Is anyone else having this same interaction on dating apps? I just got out of a 6 year relationship so this is new for me, I know everything’s better in person but I live in a town that the gay scene and gay bars and places are not cool, I have access to another area though that is pretty cool but it’s not that “easy” to access, due to this I’m considering moving to a different city.

Like is there any sighs or anything or….HELP

I’m pretty flat in both areas, and when I end up losing my virginity, I want something for my partner to suck and fuck me easily…

Any exercises that‘ll help me inflate like a balloon?

I discovered my enjoyment of male penetration about a year ago. Since then I've sampled a nice assortment of shapes and sizes. One problem I run into is that it always seems to hurt when the guy is bigger (Like 7 or 8), no matter how much time I spend preparing or adding lube. Is it just an easier with time thing or what?

What are your thoughts on older men being into younger feminine guys? I’m a 29 year old, 5’1 and 110 pound feminine twink. I dress up and I’m pretty submissive for the right men but is the age gap of 20+ years too much or am I just overthinking it?
He’s said he’s into me a lot being I’m similar to what his ex was and he’s a giant, 6’1, 275 pounds and 51 years old. He’s nice, caring, fit and everything else I’m looking for but I’ve never been with an older man and don’t know what to expect or have an idea of the type of dynamic there would be between us? All the guys I’ve been with have been around my age so being with someone older would be new for me.

Do you swap numbers prior to meeting with men on apps such as Grindr?

So, I'm a trans lesbian, polar opposite of this community ig lol, but I was recently thinking about how women's underwear is significantly more sexualised than men's, and then was talking about it with a friend briefly, then I thought about the concept of male lingerie, wondering if it's a thing (which it probably is). So I figured I'd come here to ask about it, since I imagine gay men are probably a lot less insecure about wearing such things over straight men (kinda stereotyping, but like... I've met straight men - they are weird like that).

So yeah, I was just wondering what sort of stuff there is mostly out of curiosity lol. Hope y'all are having a nice day too btw!

I’m trynna see if I’m gay

Looking to check in to a center for treatment, I have addiction to substance abuse and sexual hyperactivity type ocd, right now I only use marijuana, but I want to be substance free and healthier than I am now, I’m in my 30’s and value the relationships I have now and feel they deserve the better version of me, I’m in New Mexico tho, and I’m gay, so if there’s somewhere I could join please I’m open to all Constructive Criticism

I wanted advice on when do you talk to the guy you are dating about what you are. Are we fwb or are we dating exclusively? Are we boyfriends?
My situation:
Matched on April 30th
First date on May 3rd
We have gotten together at least once a week, but we have only actually gone out to dinner 1 time. Otherwise it’s just been us hanging out at his place. We have had some sexual fun, but haven’t had anal sex yet, but it will probably happen soon.
It’s July 6th, so just want advice on when or even is there a right time? Or should I wait for him to talk to me?

Just venting here, don’t think there is a solution for this one.I am 32(m) and I have a friend who is 29 and he’s openly bi. We’re not besties or anything. I feel incredibly attracted to him. We hang out here and there and it’s always in a friend group and it’s always good vibes and he’s one of the funniest people I know and he’s incredibly kind. A gem really, one of those people that no one has issues with. I find myself thinking about him a lot. Yesterday we all hung out with other friends drinking. At some point me and him were holding hands, for a long time and we were holding so tight. Reason why I say no way out is that he has a girlfriend and neither me nor him are the type of person to do anything if that dynamic exists. But damn I cannot stop thinking about him. Also he thinks I am straight but I wonder he suspects I am also bi. Hopefully I will get over this (I just have to😂)because I like that he has someone who makes him happy and they are so cute together.

Just wanted to share this that’s all.

I am a bit on an exhibitionist i always have been I am in a relationship where there isn’t really any sex which doesn’t help but that’s a different thing I also wanna show myself off but I don’t think I can? Bc I am in a relationships any advice? Any advice on maybe asking about an open relationship to I don’t wanna leave the guy but I need more sexually I am respecting his feelings but I feel like I need to be satisfied to