u/Top-Distance-6205

I've had many women hear to my personal issues that I wanted to share. Same with gay men. I only had a single straight guy hear what I had to say. It was obvious that he couldn't really understand how I felt and how it worked but he was there for me and did his best. And frankly, I needed nothing more than that.

I was thinking that if we are truly more accepted in today's society we should't self ghetto ourselves. We should be able to discuss our romantic issues with straight friends as well.

So I wonder, have you managed that?

And I'm not looking for a super liberal, gender fluid friend. I'm looking for a boring straight pal who wants a wife and kids.

We met during our university years, at some point we worked at the same hospital the three of us. Two of us are gay and the third dude is straight.

The other gay person is very sweet, we never had sex but we cuddle often. He's like a super cuddly bestie. We're like a couple minus the sex.

The weird thing is with the straight dude. We're not secretly in love with him or whatever. He tends to be nasty with people. It sounds crazy but we started to become friends when he was bersek a colleague and I decided that enough is enough.

I told him terrible things that he's an egomaniac narcissist that he couldn't spell the word please even if his life depended on it. Ironically, I believe this and he believe this for himself.

The three of us hang around a lot, dinners, movies, sleep overs etc. We're around 30 years old all o us. I asked him since he is straight and basically an arrogant dude that everybody is inferior to him, what joy does he find in this. He said somebody has to do the dirty job of being mean and that caring for somebody feels nice, even if it's about pets (and yes he did call us pets lmao).

But I still don't see why,

I mean somebody say keep your personal life private, but is your sexual attraction that personal? Because most people when they look a man or a woman they don't think [sexuality unknown] they mostly think straight unless proven otherwise.

I'm sick and tired of being the mysterious guy who never talks about whether he has or has not a bf or a gf.

Many people are surprised. They think that since I'm gay I have to look in a particular gay, not having the straight phenotype. Thing is I'm a boring person for what they think a gay person does. I don't wear a G string, I don't do drugs, I don't hook up with strangers at gay bars every day. I don't do whatever fucked up stereotype they have in their hollow minds.

I'm just a man who likes gym, anime, who repeatedly falls in love with straight guys and who wants "adventure in the great wild somewhere"

Some people gossip me behind my back. Others call me faggot on my face. One called me frigid bitch. I had to report him to the HR because I can be a freaking bitch and I had to defend my title.

But what do you think? Should one's sexuality be disclosed if the person wants to? Because when we talk about partners, when we have gatherings, I want my bf to be welcome.

I mean a considerable amount of people outside of this. When I had romeo, I hated it. It felt like we're 30 gays in the whole city and trust me, it's a big city. So I thought that maybe many of them are not online (minus those who are not actively searching for whatever reason).

I also feel that people who do have a profile, at least a portion of them are not actively "dating". Their profiles are dormant-like. If we add to the mix potential bots and fakers, what's left at the bottom of Pandora's box?

Tried it today, I've never felt so high with poppers before. I only worry that it could accidentally touch my mouth (although I wrapped it carefully) and that I'm wasting too much poppers.

What do you think?

He's a friend of some friends. I knew him from descriptions but I'd never met him.

We met today at a common friend's house and we interacted a lot. We left together and we talked a bit more. Thing is, I have my mind set on him.

I don't have any certain clues for attraction. I can only say he was warm, we definitely stared at each other multiple times and he tended to laugh at my silly jokes.

But what's to do? I mean I know he's gay but that's it. Maybe message him on instagram? Won't that be awkward?

I mean I'd like them to last for a month, is it too much? I use 3 brands:

Highrise: loses potency after 2-3 weeks and starts to smell like vinegar
Berlin hard: this after two weeks is nearly evaporated

Super original: I guess this is the best because it can definitely go for 2 months and when it goes bad it smells like fruit which at least is not annoying. But it's not a strong one.

I don't put them in the fridge but I seal their caps right and keep them in a dark rather cool drawing.

I mean whatever. I will give you an example. Many people with lymphoma start their diagnosis by a bf/gf (not physician just bf/gf) who notice a mild enlargmenet somewhere in the neck (cervix).

I remember fingering a dude and his prostate felt large and tough and told him so.

I also remember a dude that when we met at his place for a hook up and he asked me what my job is he started showing me some X rays he had and told me about an accident he had. I mean I gave him all the info he asked, I didn't mind. But I lost my mood for anything sexual.

I mean hating an entire group of people without having met a gay person is one thing. But having a gay friend or family member and hating him is another.

What is often said is "I'm cool with gay people, I have gay friends BUT.." and then they say something nasty. Even worse they say "..as long as they are not provocative" and "I don't care what they do in their beds".

I don't know about you guys but when I have a boyfriend, I don't lock him in the bedroom. Being gay or straight is not having sex with a particular gender. Is about being attracted to one. And attraction encompasses a plethora of situations from sex to flirt and dinners/coffee/grabbing a beer and so on.

I'm drained with people that their false beliefs are set in stone.

PS I know a gay physician who was in distant rural area with his mate, also a doctor. After some things happened they decided that they should leave because they didn't like how the villagers viewed them so they went to a big city. Well long story short, no other doctor cared to go to that area and two years later they are begging for someone to move there.

I really don't know if they are ignorant or not.

Why do they think that a gay's secret dream is to become a woman? I'm happy that I have dick, I jerk it, I fuck with it, I get fucked. I like men.

But I don't blame them. I'm a left hander and I still get comments like "how can you write with your left hand?". I mean how many neurons does it take not to be surprised by someone using his left hand instead of his right?

And if this is so complicated to process imagine how tough it must be for them to see that just as somebody can write with his left or right hand, he can be into women or men and one of this conditions is abnormal.

This dude is bi. Prior to him, I believed that true bi men are folk myth or something. He's a daddy (actually he is, he's divorced with two kids but this is irrelevant). He's always horny. He's fucking mostly women (I think) and he's somewhat more picky with men.

He's not someone for a relationship or anything and he's clear about that. He approached me and I got flattered. I was into him as well. He's a top with a big dick and he fucks well. Honestly, it feels like a dream to me.

The thing is that he has some annoying opinions. I can't even process about alphas and betas etc. I somehow liked that he fucked me (I fucking did love it) but I'm annoyed that he considers me a beta just because I enjoyed his dick. He is affectionate, he hugs and kisses and all but I feel like we're not on the same level on his mind.

Why can't I enjoy the fucking and my brain has stuck with that?

Like you do it via cooking, or cuddling, messing with his hair? What's your way of saying I love you and I'm here for you?

I'm not saying about emergency situations (although in a true emergency I guess the patient wouldn't have the time or the strength to verbalize homophobia).

But what if that patient bullies another healthcare professional or another patient with the usual nasty comments that there are no real men any more and nonsense about gay agenda or words like "faggot" etc?

Ironically, I said to a patient who expressed such views that hospitals are spaces where are obliged to give help/treat whoever needs it and we do not tolerate racism of any kind.

When he was angry with me and said why do you care are you a faggot too? I said yes and escalated by reporting to the chief of the clinic saying I do not feel safe treating a person who actively spreads hatred for gay people.

I had some people say that I should just "dodge" all this and try to calm the patient down, but hell no. I treat everybody with respect but I also expect to be treated with respect as well.

For me it's twice a day since i was a teen

He's a colleague of mine that I know him for about a year. Sometimes I may see him everyday and some others I may not see him for weeks. He's very pleasant. We exchange reels from time to time.

He has a tendency to make endless jokes about gay sex. It's not specific to someone constantly makes those jokes. He says for instance damn I can barely walk was with [name of the dude] and we were having rough fun. But it's a joke.

He also tends to be touchy. He kisses me on the cheek several times a week. Truth is I'm into him but because I really have no way of telling where the joke ends, I'm numb.

Today I saw him at the locker room, taking his shirt off. Maybe I started a second more than I should. He said "I can get undressed for you in private" and he winked.

Now my brain is having a short circuit. Does he think I'm into him (which maybe I am)? Did he notice that I stared or is it part of his jokes? And am I that stupid that I couldn't look somewhere else but had to observe his chest? damn

I mean you know the stereotype of policemen/military men/firefighters/doctors/whatever. But are there really or is it cultivated by pop culture or even porn?

I'm not saying that somebody will fall for someone who is totally unattractive, but could this be important when it comes to sex appeal?