Looking for a way without judgment to make real friends ? (19f)
Canada based.
Lately I have been feeling very lonely and isolated.
My brothers and I were rescued from an abusive cult-like family nearly five years ago.
Since we’ve been out, I’ve been trying hard to adapt to the world, make friends, I tried dating. None of it worked out.
In the end, I’ve settled into a life with just my brothers and just trying to focus my time on keeping all of us happy.
I have two twin newborns, a boy and a girl. The boy has severe OI (brittle bone disease).
For this, we were initially put into a support group for OI parents, but I ultimately ended up running from there too after embarrassing myself trying to speak to a lady I found cool.
I have come to realize I am never going to make friends while wearing a mask and pretending to be normal because the secrets will eat me alive, I’m just not, or something will happen like always.
And my brother (21m) and I are always together and this is what ended most of my past relationships when they became jealous, or got in a fight with him, and I always chose him and always will. I’m never going to have a friend unless they understand us and don’t mind.
But I find this impossible because aside from all of our baggage that can be inferred, the main things that I just keep secret that will lead to judgment or destruction if not, is that me and 21m are together now. The newborns are ours and I always tell people we are co-parenting/he is helping and this angers him, but I have no choice.
The few people that suspected or knew anything about us, judge and usually see me as a victim or want to get me help or they say this and that about my brother and then it’s over. I don’t want to leave and I all I want is a friend or community who doesn’t force me to and doesnt ruin things for us.
And something maybe even my brother might like.
He usually does not mind me interacting with women.