sapiosexuality is a hoax but i still feel strange about the lack of intellectual connection in my bdsm space
edit 2: definitely did not expect this level of response and got over the frustration pretty quickly, so apologies but i am erasing everything that can be used to identify me :"D digital footprint people!
to preface this: im REDACTED, REDACTED, had been interested in bdsm throughout my whole sexual journey but, crucially, began practicing and be involved in the community only since last autumn. what i wish to say is, there is self-awareness on my part. im young, im inexperienced, im new. i suppose i need to let our some frustration, even if i know it is absolutely fueled by impatience and everything else.
i am REDACTED. i am located in central europe (REDACTED). i am a REDACTED, currently exploring my REDACTED. i am not everyone's type physically but i certainly wouldn't call myself ugly. i try to actively participate in the local bdsm community, and look for communities/people online. i have a healthy array of kinks im into.
this all is being said to give you an understanding of the baseline. i am not an extremely niche 'type', so to say. the perfect average in fact.
it is also crucial to mention i am REDACTED.
that means, REDACTED history. that means, poetry. literature. late middle ages. baroque. renaissance. romantics. theology. philosophy. that means, museums and theatre and whatever else REDACTED implies.
it feels absurd how hard it is for me to find an individual i could share my intellectual and REDACTED interests with and who is also into bdsm. who is also, preferably, a dominant or a domme. i fucking know they're out there and they're DEFINITELY not in my circles, because i would actually do unspeakable things to have a bdsm partner knowledgeable in the same areas or intersecting with areas of my interests. its already hard enough for me to find someone like that without the whole bdsm business (the answer is always that i need to get out more, if only there was time), currently it seems fucking impossible.
and the intellectual side is so, so crucial to my experience + understanding of bdsm. i just wish more of it was brought into the community and the actual kink, i guess.
im being impatient, and young, and new, and whatever else. but man. i want to go to a museum exhibition with my dom! i want him to read me obscure poetry or boring ass philosophy, or to read it to him! i want mind games with substance, physiological play and intellectual dominance where it can be felt! i want flirting through teaching! i want what i cannot have, because this is incredibly specific and i know it.
in short, feels like a "me problem". however, i am also geniunely surprised at how hard it is to find similar... waves hand... people, dynamics, like what i describe. online, at least. i have a hunch people like this don't stalk people on fetlife and attend gatherings that aren't particularly public, away from all the internet bdsm culture.
i think i would like an acknowledgement of my desires, and genuine discussion regarding the intellectual/artistic circles within bdsm, and especially within (central) europe.
anyone know anything? :"(
edit: i felt a little embarrassed after posting this, but you guys have left wonderful comments. this community is genuinely so incredible. appreciate you reading this, i needed to get this out of my system and see the outside perspective :D