We Nearly Crossed The Line - Need Help Supporting Wife
Background - Her ( 36f ), Me (42m ), married 10 years. We are not in the lifestyle but are not vanilla by any means ( dildos, bdsm, sleeves, outdoor play, roleplay, etc ). MFM and hotwifing are some of our primary roleplays that we discovered she was into after we got into sleeves & dildos. However, we had always mutually agreed that adding another actual person into the mix was off the table, fantasyland only. Very secure marriage, great communication.
This past weekend we are out of town staying at a casino for her birthday and my wife had made it very clear she expected some wild hotel sex and that I should be prepared to bring "the boyfriend" ( aka her favorite sleeve ) and a medium size dildo "just in case". We teased and flirted all week building up some really nice anticipation for the trip, the stage was set for a great kid-free night out.
When we got into the hotel room and we were unpacking she found a condom i had stashed in one of her bags. She asked me what it was for and I told her, "In case she found someone she liked tonight." She laughed it off and told me I was an idiot and we headed off to dinner. My wife is a naturally pretty lady, very confident and very flirty. I have never had an issue with this ( like i said, very secure marriage ). After a nice dinner we hit the casino floor where she found herself in the middle seat of a blackjack table with a group of late 20 somethings on a bachelor party. They were on her in seconds with the flirting, sexy jokes, etc. No one crossed the line into inappropriate and all were generally respectful. My wife was soaking up all the attention and having a blast.
As the night continued and their group dwindled down, there was one guy who was stuck to her side like a glue. She changed tables, he changed tables. Paid the tips for her drinks, tipped the dealer for her, etc, etc. After an hour or so I joined them at the table ( I'm not a gambler but joined anyway, I couldn't find anything else I was interested in playing ). I quickly noticed this guy who velcro'd to my wife was married. We all had a great time for about another two hours before the money ran dry and it was time to head to the room for sexy time. We all say our good byes and my wife and I are off the room.
Clothes drop as soon as we make it through the door and I was on her like an animal. As soon as she hit the bed I was between her legs. She grabs me by the hair and in between moans says, "If he wasn't married I'd be fucking him right now." I stood up, entered her and we had some crazy dirty talk , hot kinky sex.
The next morning at brunch I asked her how clearly she remembered our late night hotel adventures and she said "crystal clear". I told her that I would like to talk and debrief the night and she asked why. I said, "Well honey, you explicitly told me you would fuck another man last night." She asked me if she needed to apologize for that statement and I told her no. I told her that I understood we had set the scene for that type of play during the week and I that i had definitely set that idea in motion with the condom in her bag.
She asked if I was upset with her and I told her I was not. I asked her how she felt about it all and she told me that she was feeling a little shameful and regretful for saying that to me. I told her we were fine, more than fine really, that while we had nudged right up against the line, we hadn't crossed it. However, this was the first time it felt "real" and not just a fantasy. She agreed. I then asked her, now in the sober light of day, would you have done it? She replied she's pretty sure she would have instantly agreed to a threesome. I asked her if that was something she was interested in exploring and she told me "situationally" but not pre-planned.
I'm searching for advice for next steps in supporting her emotionally. I do not want her to feel negatively , definitely not shameful, about how the night played out. I'm leaning towards not bringing it up unless she does but do not want her to think I'm not meeting her emotional needs.
***UPDATE***
We talked extensively. Decided that we'll reset the boundary line between fantasy/reality to something akin to "not actively pursuing, not against it if something organically happens". A thorough conversation was had, we're agreed that it would be a MFM only, no solo play and all the rules/conditions we thought would be pertinent. It may never happen, or it may, either way we are 100% good with it. I appreciate all the insight and feedback from you guys!