Hi i thought after quite a few years of being used as a drug triallist (it seems) i thought i'd share with you the comedown firstly of Morphine.
Cut a long story short, i was anxious and found i liked going out, listening to music, gigging, and that was when music was big in the 90s.
Alcohol was all over, and it got a grip, i can't explain the tipping point, but there is a stage when it just changes from fun, socialising, to total isolation and a necessity mentally but more physically.
I don't know whether stopping alcohol and realising it was just escaping from people and society, makes me feel stupid or what but to the younger folks, or anyone who has started to think the drink is taking control, win the fight. Because it had me in a hospital ward (2011) with a seizure, and the next few days after i didn't know i'd fractured my vertebrae in Six places.
This brings me to Morphine, as the pain was incredible, i succumbed to taking a script of Dihydrocodeine 30mgs x2 4 times a day. seemed excessive but the first two (which i put in a hot Ribena drink had me feeling fantastic, so here starts a new addiction. as 8 pills a day wasn't ideal, i agreed to 120mg slow release which i eventually chewed.
Next stop was the specialist advising Morphine, i ended up on 40mg's a day for around 5 years. I have no idea how Gp practices up north can override a pain specialist
If anyone is still awake i went for my usual repeat and it wasn't there, i thought it was a mistake, but i'd received a message from my surgery advising me to go to a Drug and Alcohol clinic, 15 years after i left one for stopping drinking.
As a man approaching 50 i really can say with conviction that the NHS along with nearly everything in this world it seems is corrupt.
I was told it was a money saving thing for the surgeries, to cut costs but cover their backs,
I never wanted a pat on the back for ruining my early years but i didn't deserve bettering myself to be thrown around like a number.
On a scal of 1-10 for withdrawals, this is mine..
Alcohol 10/10, the most frightening feelings, sweating and mind racing, depression comes on after day 4 when you stop fearing for your life. Not only this (which can last upto 2 weeks, but depression begins after the 2 weeks! And then you have to think of all the shame you brought on your family and, mates, and feel basically scum, far worse then any drug, i do not care what anyone says, Heroin, Crack. etc Woeful memories..
Morphine - this was more of a missing friend, or comfort, but depression lasted me 4 months recently. I'm posting this for information for other people, and i intend on talking more in depth about the drugs i was prescribed and used..
PM me anyone if you want anything..
It's nice to release some of this info, as people don't understand.