Girlfriend has had a herpes outbreak. What to expect going forward?
My (F30s) girlfriend (F30s) recently tested positive for genital herpes after experiencing irritation on her genitals for a few weeks. At first she thought it was a UTI, which she has had occasionally, but it wasn't going away.
During this time, we've had sex a few times, but she hasn't been comfortable with stimulation on her, so it's been a lot of foreplay and focus on me, which is fine. But I can tell that she's a bit nervous around sex and has had some discomfort, and she feels like her being penetrated is a major part of our sex life. Which, y'know, it kind of is, and I like penetrating her, but I don't love that it puts an expectation that sex for us has to go a certain way.
Anyway, I feel like during our last conversation about sex she catastrophized a bit - she said she was worried that she might not be able to be penetrated 90% of the time, and I think she's concerned about breakouts. So I'd like to know what to expect. What is it actually like to have herpes, how much does it impact your sex life, if you have an outbreak how long does it normally last and how do you handle sex during that time?
As a reminder, we're both women, so PIV isn't a possibility - penetration normally looks like fingers and toys for us.