u/Effective_Breath_364

31 F Korean American. I grew up in an Asian heavy city, moved for college and married to a Korean American. Most of my friends are Asian. Born to immigrant parents I was raised with very traditional values and believe I relate to it and I'm proud of who I am. I do not conform to the Asian stereotypes of being feminine, submissive or shy. I am outspoken, social and hold my ground.

I work in a male dominant industry (law firm) and it's specially important for me to not come across as weak or dependent on my male coworkers. I am respected and I have grown quickly for my age among my peers. I do get the attention and blatant flirting at and outside of work and I immediately shut it down.

However, I struggle with the more senior and powerful men in my industry. Such men are always white. They are more composed, steady, speak with such authority and in a more appealing way that I know it blurs professional lines but also makes me listen. I have to then remind myself that they are also my peers or someone I want to aspire to be in the future.

Happy hours and non professional settings are more difficult. Turning down younger and men my age is easy. However, white men 10-20 years older are more patient, calculated and often have the courage to say what they think. I find it hard to stand up and challenge them or to immediately turn them down. Things like their smirk, their eyes, their scent are registered in my mind and makes me think of them. I do let them know that I am married and I always wear my wedding ring. Yet I cannot explain the attraction.

In my college and dating years I've been on dates with white men and could never connect and always preferred dating men with a similar background. Being attracted to white men older than me and powerful has only happened over the last year and half and it feels wrong and like I'm being a bad wife. My husband is a nice man and works in a different industry and someone who keeps to himself which I've always found cute. So the contradiction to what keeps me up at night (visualizing them and playing the interactions repeatedly in my mind) is incredibly confusing.

31 F Korean American. I grew up in an Asian heavy city, moved for college and married to a Korean American. Most of my friends are Asian. Born to immigrant parents I was raised with very traditional values and believe I relate to it and I'm proud of who I am. I do not conform to the Asian stereotypes of being feminine, submissive or shy. I am outspoken, social and hold my ground.

I work in a male dominant industry (law firm) and it's specially important for me to not come across as weak or dependent on my male coworkers. I am respected and I have grown quickly for my age among my peers. I do get the attention and blatant flirting at and outside of work and I immediately shut it down.

However, I struggle with the more senior and powerful men in my industry. Such men are always white. They are more composed, steady, speak with such authority and in a more appealing way that I know it blurs professional lines but also makes me listen. I have to then remind myself that they are also my peers or someone I want to aspire to be in the future.

Happy hours and non professional settings are more difficult. Turning down younger and men my age is easy. However, white men 10-20 years older are more patient, calculated and often have the courage to say what they think. I find it hard to stand up and challenge them or to immediately turn them down. Things like their smirk, their eyes, their scent are registered in my mind and makes me think of them. I do let them know that I am married and I always wear my wedding ring. Yet I cannot explain the attraction.

In my college and dating years I've been on dates with white men and could never connect and always preferred dating men with a similar background. Being attracted to white men older than me and powerful has only happened over the last year and half and it feels wrong and like I'm being a bad wife. My husband is a nice man and works in a different industry and someone who keeps to himself which I've always found cute. So the contradiction to what keeps me up at night (visualizing them and playing the interactions repeatedly in my mind) is incredibly confusing.

31 F Korean American. I grew up in an Asian heavy city, moved for college and married to a Korean American. Most of my friends are Asian. Born to immigrant parents I was raised with very traditional values and believe I relate to it and I'm proud of who I am. I do not conform to the Asian stereotypes of being feminine, submissive or shy. I am outspoken, social and hold my ground.

I work in a male dominant industry (law firm) and it's specially important for me to not come across as weak or dependent on my male coworkers. I am respected and I have grown quickly for my age among my peers. I do get the attention and blatant flirting at and outside of work and I immediately shut it down.

However, I struggle with the more senior and powerful men in my industry. Such men are always white. They are more composed, steady, speak with such authority and in a more appealing way that I know it blurs professional lines but also makes me listen. I have to then remind myself that they are also my peers or someone I want to aspire to be in the future.

Happy hours and non professional settings are more difficult. Turning down younger and men my age is easy. However, white men 10-20 years older are more patient, calculated and often have the courage to say what they think. I find it hard to stand up and challenge them or to immediately turn them down. Things like their smirk, their eyes, their scent are registered in my mind and makes me think of them. I do let them know that I am married and I always wear my wedding ring. Yet I cannot explain the attraction.

In my college and dating years I've been on dates with white men and could never connect and always preferred dating men with a similar background. Being attracted to white men older than me and powerful has only happened over the last year and half and it feels wrong and like I'm being a bad wife. My husband is a nice man and works in a different industry and someone who keeps to himself which I've always found cute. So the contradiction to what keeps me up at night (visualizing them and playing the interactions repeatedly in my mind) is incredibly confusing.

31 F Korean American. I grew up in an Asian heavy city, moved for college and married to a Korean American. Most of my friends are Asian. Born to immigrant parents I was raised with very traditional values and believe I relate to it and I'm proud of who I am. I do not conform to the Asian stereotypes of being feminine, submissive or shy. I am outspoken, social and hold my ground.

I work in a male dominant industry (law firm) and it's specially important for me to not come across as weak or dependent on my male coworkers. I am respected and I have grown quickly for my age among my peers. I do get the attention and blatant flirting at and outside of work and I immediately shut it down.

However, I struggle with the more senior and powerful men in my industry. Such men are always white. They are more composed, steady, speak with such authority and in a more appealing way that I know it blurs professional lines but also makes me listen. I have to then remind myself that they are also my peers or someone I want to aspire to be in the future.

Happy hours and non professional settings are more difficult. Turning down younger and men my age is easy. However, white men 10-20 years older are more patient, calculated and often have the courage to say what they think. I find it hard to stand up and challenge them or to immediately turn them down. Things like their smirk, their eyes, their scent are registered in my mind and makes me think of them. I do let them know that I am married and I always wear my wedding ring. Yet I cannot explain the attraction.

In my college and dating years I've been on dates with white men and could never connect and always preferred dating men with a similar background. Being attracted to white men older than me and powerful has only happened over the last year and half and it feels wrong and like I'm being a bad wife. My husband is a nice man and works in a different industry and someone who keeps to himself which I've always found cute. So the contradiction to what keeps me up at night is incredibly confusing.