u/Elegant_Spare9305

My S is generally a strongly independent and picky yet sometimes needy person. On the former, she navigates us on our walks (sometimes stubbornly taking us the wrong way), picks the movie seats, usually sets the agenda (unless it's a date night I plan). And I don't really care because our interests align enough and, really, I'm generally down for whatever. Ive always kinda been a go w the flow person. On the latter, I love being able to take care of her (fill her water/ wine glass; order for both of us; hold doors [other things I generally find akin to being a gentleman]). She has also said how she loves how feminine she feels around me. I truly love taking care of and protecting my baby and making her feel special, so I don't mind the neediness at all..

But she also identifies as a brat who does not want a 24/7 dynamic. When we get to the bedroom, things are chill. I love dominating her ass and am learning what makes her fall apart (we’ve only been dating ab 6 months). But she wants me to assert my dominant energy more intermittently to get her more in the mood.

We sometimes text stuff about play, but in person, I'm struggling to figure out when to make something a play thing and when shes actually just tryna exist. Because, I’m p down to just roll w what she wants re everyday life, but am also very very down to put her in her place if it’s a play thing. Tbh I’d love a 24/7 dynamic for both the hotness and the clarity of knowing our roles bc the issue is identifying/ determining when it is a play thing.

In trying to find a balance, early on she suggested that I sometimes tell her to go fill up her own water when she asks so I know her vision taps into everyday life.. but, for those with naturally needy, picky, and independent partners, I'm wondering if finding a balance between real life and play is something yall had explicit conversations about, if yall just figured it out over time without talking ab it, or u developed the dynamic some other way...

Any thoughts would be appreciated!

I've read how some subs have been surprised by the way their soft doms respond to their bratting, including one story where the sub didn't even realize she was being dom-ed because he was so nice (yet still effective apparently)...

My default is to be a more aggressive so I'd really love to hear what kinds of phrases you soft doms use to respond to bratting OR what phrases subs who brat hear.

I fully understand what works for one dynamic might not work for another, just soliciting inspiration on what I believe is a more niche ask. Would also happily take other suggestions on where to pull inspo from

My gf and I are new to BDSM but have established she wants me to be a soft pleasure dom and that she has a praise kink and bratting tendencies.

The issue is neither of us have been in this power dynamic in real relationships so, while we know WHAT we ultimately want, we have no idea HOW to really get there.

I know the answer is communicating... but what about?? That brings me to here... what information did you and your partner share when building the foundation for a strong play dynamic

As a new dom with a brat S... I'm learning that I need to define what I find acceptable (and will handle) and what I find unacceptable (and will tame)... but idk what the realm of possibilities are so I cannot set a clear line.

we've tried trial and error (i.e., no upfront communication about where the line between acceptable/ playful and disrespectful is) but feel like we need to have a sit down conversation. I'm looking to see where y'all have drawn that line

I am struggling out here... I try and give her praise and it's kinda ignored. I'm new to this world and we're just starting this dynamic. So far we only have one rule, if we're texting about play, she has to call me "daddy." I feel like that's hella basic and easy... yet she ignores it. Tbh idk if it's her bratting or her not caring enough to remember. either way, I'll set a punishment and she'll do it at the very end of the day. We both work and I get that she has time, but last night she called to ask if she could get out of it and I said no... but internally, I was freaking out about what the hell I'm supposed to to if she's not obedient. Bump up the punishment? Is this how the rest of our relationship is gonna be?? her continuing to ignore me/ disobey me/ force me to punish her?

Add to all of this... she doesn't want a 24/7 D/S so idk when the hell she wants to play.

so far only thing she seems to respond to are (1) sexts about me getting her off IF sent at a time she is "in the mood" or (2) me requesting punishments, which she complains ab and asks to push off

any advice?