For context, lets say the only thing I know about BDSM is just from watching Fifty Shades of Grey - so getting tied up, spanked, gagged and contracts as a way of relinquishing my rights I guess😂 but yeah, I'd love some insight into how y'all define being a soft dom or having a soft dom. How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?
Thanks to everyone who takes the time to educate me.❤️
Tone, eye contact, confidence, and physical presence go a long way toward exerting dominance and eliciting submission. An encounter I had with my sub/wife today where I dominated her with a single word, shows how true that is.
We took some time off work, so we’ve been home during the day. We are planning to play tonight, but this afternoon I wanted her so bad that I couldn’t wait. So I waited until I knew she wasn’t busy, then decided to exercise my free use blowjob privileges.
I took a shower, then still naked, I approached her. She was sitting at her desk, scrolling on Reddit. I wordlessly beckoned for her to stand. She did, and I kissed her, then pulled her into a tight hug and squeezed her ass. She knew what I wanted, and said in a mock-exasperated tone, “wait until later!”
I tipped her chin up with my hand, looked her in the eyes, and said a single word in my Dom voice: “no”. Then I silently put a pillow on the floor and handed over her blowjob glasses (a special pair I make her wear for that purpose). I didn’t need to say anything else, she understood the assignment. She immediately said “ok Daddy”, then put on the glasses, kneeled on the pillow, and lovingly sucked my cock.
I usually talk dirty to her and give her feedback during blowjobs, but this time I said nothing and just moaned when it felt good, and she dutifully adjusted her technique accordingly. The next words I said to her were “good girl” after she finished.
It was hot watching her obey my unspoken orders without question. A single word, delivered the right way, had been enough to exert my dominance and make her submit.
Happy Sunday to all!
This is our weekly off topic chat thread. Here you can share non kinky things about your week, discuss your hobbies, talk about what shows or movies you're watching, life, whatever!
We just ask that you keep discussion civil and relatively low on the politics side of things.
Here we can get to know our community outside of just the kinky things we do.
Chatter on!
Thanks to PickledTink for this idea.
This is our weekly check in!
Share a Rose, something good that happened in your dynamic or BDSM journey. Things you liked, a fun moment, something you enjoyed, something new you discovered
Share a Bud, something you're looking forward to in your current dynamic or future dynamic. This might be a goal, a plan, or something you\u2019re hoping to explore.
Share a Thorn, something that was difficult or challenging in your kink life. Something you didn't like, made you sad, or gave you stress.
Please be kind and supportive of your fellow community members.
And was it a partner for casual/pickup play, a dynamic, or a romantic relationship?
My sub/wife and I have a 2 year age difference (38M/36F). I had one previous casual partner where I could describe our sex as kinky, and that was also a 2 year age difference.
What’s the largest age difference you’ve had?
Welcome to Book Club. The first rule of Book Club? Tell all your friends about Book Club. Lol!
This weekly event is your chance to talk about the kinky books we've read, be they fiction or non fiction!
Every week you can comment on this post about a book you've read, give it a little review, share what you liked and didn't like, and whether you'd recommend it.
For fiction, give us a little rundown of the type of kinks in the book, the domination style, and any trigger warnings that may apply.
For non-fiction, tell us whether you consider it a good resource or not, and who it might benefit (dom or sub, various types if applicable).
As this is Softer BDSM, let's try to limit books that focus on CNC, blood play, and other heavy edge play.
Hi everyone, no official dynamic in our home, but I'm (F) naturally a sub and my husband (M) is a dom-leaning switch. I am happy to be soft domme when he's in the mood for that, although it doesn't come super naturally.
ANYWAY, with all that in mind, my husband asked me to overstim him until he safewords. We've done some of this before by having me continue to stimulate him with my mouth or hands after he's already come. This is fun but I was wondering if more experienced folks might have some suggestions for other ways to overstim someone with a penis. The lack of multiple orgasms as an option is stumping me a little bit 🤔
Last night, I told my sub/wife that we were going to dinner at an upscale French “restaurant for sluts” called Chez Panisse Penis, where I’m also the chef. I dressed her up slutty, inspected her outfit and body, sat her blindfolded at our kitchen counter, and teased her with a remote vibe and mild impact while I made ratatouille for dinner. Then I brought her to our bed and we finished with anal. It was an intense and hot scene.
This scene has been a long time coming. We tried doing it twice before, but got disrupted each time by factors outside our control, related to a close relative’s health condition. We’re glad that the third time was the charm, because we both needed the intensity and release from a proper kink night. Kink helps us stay emotionally regulated, express our love for each other, and feel connected as couple. So I’m especially glad this scene went well.
(Details and recipes in the comments)
I feel such an intense need for sub space I can’t describe it. It’s all I can think about.
I need to feel that safety and euphoria so much it makes me wanna cry.
Previously I’d just distract myself and get stoned for the same “flying” feeling, but I’m being responsible and not taking any due to interactions with my meds.
If other subs have advice or experience with this, I’m all ears.
Do you feel like there's a difference to you personally in being called A good boy/girl/insert non gendered here and your Dom's good boy/girl/etc?
Cuz like for me, when Big Man calls me HIS Good Boi, I fuckin melt. But the generic good Boi doesn't do it for me.
Today my sub/wife and I took the day off work and went out for lunch on a “day date”. As she was in the bathroom getting ready, I surreptitiously laid out a few things on our bed: her buttslut panties, blowjob glasses, and Flexer remote vibe. I also set up a pillow and mirror in front of the storage bench at the end of our bed, then joined her in the shower. I helped her shave her legs and rinsed the shampoo out of her hair.
As she was getting out, I dropped into my Dom voice and told her: “strawberry, go put on the items you find on our bed. When I get out of the shower, I want to see you wearing them, on your knees and ready to suck Daddy’s cock.” Apparently I’m getting predictable, because she was expecting me to do something like this. She giggled, then said “yes Daddy” and obeyed. She even sassed me a little by saying “hurry up and finish your shower, I need your cum.”
I sat down on the bench and she kneeled on the pillow and took me into her mouth. It was a hot view: I could see “buttslut” written on her perfect ass wiggling in the mirror, and she made intense eye contact with me over her glasses as she lovingly served her Dom. Each time I adjusted the settings on the remote vibe, she moaned on my cock in response. After a few minutes, she made me cum in her mouth, then looked me in the eyes, swallowed, and said “I love being your cumslut, Daddy”. Hot hot hot.
We finished getting ready. I let her take the remote vibe out, but made her keep on the glasses and panties, while I wore my orgasm donor boxers. At lunch, I teased her by whispering dirty things in her ear: telling her she’s a good little cumslut, asking what it said on her ass, saying Daddy would spoil her when we got home, etc. We had a fun time.
On the drive home, I ordered her to play with my pussy using the wand vibe I had stashed in the glove box. When we got home, I took her to bed and used my fingers, tongue, and toys to make her cum several times, but purposely didn’t let her have my cock.
She complained, but I told her she’s only going to get that later tonight, when we go to the “restaurant for sluts” for dinner…
Less about when things go wrong, more about the silly things that happen because we are human. Do you laugh things off? How do you handle when something goes “off-script” or “unexpectedly”?
I’ll go first: during a scene today, my Dom grabbed me by the hair and forced me to kneel to service him. As I started deep-throating him, all of a sudden I heard a bright “PING!” next to my ear. It was his Apple Watch, for some reason unmuted, letting him know he hit his stand goal for the day 😂 We both stopped, stared for a second, and started laughing. We did get back to the scene pretty quickly, but it felt good to laugh at the moment.
Happy Sunday to all!
This is our weekly off topic chat thread. Here you can share non kinky things about your week, discuss your hobbies, talk about what shows or movies you're watching, life, whatever!
We just ask that you keep discussion civil and relatively low on the politics side of things.
Here we can get to know our community outside of just the kinky things we do.
Chatter on!
We have reached the point where we get enough new people every week to warrant a weekly introductions post.
So if you're new, a lurker who has never comments, or just want to say hi, come on in and introduce yourselves.
What is your role, what is your partners'?
What kind of dom, sub, or general kinkster are you?
What kind of dynamic do you have, if you have one? (Bedroom only, tpe, please, etc..)
What are your favorite kinks?
How long have you been doing BDSM?
How did you find our subreddit?
Reminder that we are not a personals or dating sub.
I’m a baby girl/service sub to a Daddy Dom and I very much enjoy it. I never thought of or wanted to be dominant in a relationship. For many years I was married to a vanilla man and it basically became a female-led relationship, and it made me miserable. I guess IRL I’m pretty confident and assertive, and that’s why I enjoy being a sub so much, as it relieves me from the constant responsibilities and decision making that are part of my everyday life.
2 weeks ago I reconnected with an old friend, and we instantly felt a magnetic attraction to each other and were inseparable the rest of the weekend. We really enjoy each other’s company and have spend hours messaging each other (not sexy talk, as much as just sharing our daily lives and making plans for future travel). My Daddy is fine with this as we are all poly.
However, it immediately became apparent that my old friend is really into worship. In the brief time we spent together, he knelt before me several times and made a lot of anticipatory service gestures, which I very much appreciated.
I’d like to continue this relationship, and being spoiled and pampered appeals to the baby girl side of me, but I really don’t want to give orders and decide everything, and train a sub.
Has anyone made this work? I Suggestions for domme/sub dirty talk?
First post, kinda shy
I’m new to a lot of things and one of them is the idea that I can actually experience all the lovely things I read about on this thread and others. I was kinda in denial because I have some pelvic floor dysfunction that makes penetration painful so it was kind of out of sight out of mind for a long time. Anyway I actually found this group through r/vaginismus, when someone spoke about their experience with a pleasure dom and how they were able to have one of their first orgasm with them or something like that.
I’ve always been able to have clit orgasms and that’s pretty much the only thing I do but now I wanna venture into penetration but most importantly edging. Specifically allowing the pleasure to build and kind of controlling the orgasm.
I have no idea how people do that. I’ve tried and if I wait too long it kinda dies out but other times it kinda happens without me wanting it to and then nothing after that, I know some women are multi-orgasmic naturally and I would love to be that way but as of right now it’s one and done and if it’s only one I want it to be great one.
My question is for both women who do/have experience it and for people who know how to edge their partners. Even better if you’re a women who can edge herself and other women cause then you can give both perspectives on what to do.
I’m looking for general advice as well as person stories of anyone who may have struggled with this and what they did/ how long until they saw results.
For context I’m single so it’s me and a glass dildo, Ben wa balls, and my hands, with lube of course.
Oki so first I'm not looking specifically like it's difficult for me to phrase this without sounding like I'm looking for someone I'm not oki!!!
I just have some ideas and things but don't have any real experience so don't know if things are too weird or specific or unicorn...
So I'm into mommies just that soft voice that makes me feel all cared for and things or engulfing me with herself hugging me till I start to cry and things anyway
Apart from other ideas....something I fantasie over is being sorta like a Princess but I'm a guy though I'm into forced fem but like soft forced fem more encouraging fem tbh and idk how a Princess dynamic looks like but being pampered or things like she buys me something new to wear and then gets me all worked up in it and things
Sorry I'm not good at containing my thoughts...ig my questions are: are male Princess wanted or even a thing and what would that dynamic entail? And is it reasonable to look for a mommy that is okey with different things like I can go from puppy to little to what I think is Princess or just me having a bad day....?
It feels like dynamics are pretty set apart from switches but like in my head she's always the dominant money and I just cycle through things naturally....idk yet what fits me best I've never been able to try probably won't be able for a while...
Anyway sorry to sorta ramble just curious if I'm just really weird uhm but yeah that uhm oki thank you!!
Other than the classic collar, do you or your partner like to wear anything for your scenes and intimate moments?
I'm always on the hunt for lingerie that leaves my erogenous zones available so I can actually keep it on for the main event rather than pose for a few moments and then take them off. My favorites are stockings and garters. I also recently ordered a pair of crotchless pantyhose that has "Good Girl" stitched across the thighs that I'm very excited about 🤭
What about you? Harnesses, jewelry, perhaps a jaunty cap? Maybe someone actually wears "dom jeans" like the guy in Fifty Shades of Grey? (seems unlikely but I'd love to hear about it if so lol)
We’re looking to add to our toy collection and one of the things on the top of our list is a better wand vibe. The one we have is pretty tiny and only really does anything if it’s in EXACTLY the right spot. What are your favorite wands? (Or any other must-have toys for that matter)
My wife she has notional sexual fantasies that includes “…against my will…”
We’re not talking about abuse or some heinous act, in my mind, we’re talking about exploring some unknown sexual fantasy wherein the wife can’t see her lover, yet the fantasy is so emotionally built up in her head, that she submits to being blindfolded and put into a spreader.
In this scenario she is mentally transported into a warm inviting mindset that relaxes and titillates her senses. While her vulva is being massaged with warmed lube, she hears a vibrator humming.
And so the intermittent teasing and touching of her clit and labia begin.
The question is (isn’t always) how does one introduce the spreader… simply calming a blindfolded wife with reassurances of “… good girl..,”?