u/pikachukitten

u/JustaGentleMouse made a nice post on this topic a few weeks ago. I found myself thinking about it because HusDom and I just experienced a need to reassess our current aftercare protocols, and I’d love to hear from others if this something that has happened (or continues to evolve) in your dynamic.

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We had a rope / Shibari scene this past weekend in which we also incorporated HuCow play with some mental sadism / humiliation for the first time. The scene was perfect. I had a lot fun being tied up, “milked” (and experienced an orgasm from nipple play for the first time??), and being ordered to “moo” (I found it super embarrassing, to my Dom’s delight). After I was commanded to make a particularly long and low-pitched bellow in exchange for one more orgasm, I collapsed in a satiated, but mortified heap.

HusDom swooped in to begin the usual cuddles that start our aftercare ritual, but my mind was reeling from having to do what I just did. I stopped him and said, “can you give me a minute alone?”I don’t think this was the right way to frame it at all, but my thoughts were in an angry subspace jumble and he kindly gave me the space I requested. I breathed deeply for a few counts, gave myself a light cleanup, and went over to him, offering to talk.

We proceeded to cuddle while we debriefed: I apologized for the way I framed my ask, and reassured him that I really, REALLY liked the scene. However, the final push of humiliation did something to my emotions that our normal aftercare wasn’t going to help with. We talked, and worked out a new system moving forward: I state (or he asks me) what aftercare I need following a scene. It’s largely two buckets, either straight to cozy and cuddles (our normal, with some variation depending on the kinks), or stating I need a few minutes alone first. I’m excited to have more accessible vocabulary for my needs in the moment, and just continue to feel immense gratitude for a partner willing to work together to solution the challenge.

While we all know that anything we wear can set our partners into a frenzy (as it should be! 😉), what’s that one thing (or maybe collection of things) you put on that instantly set the mood for kinky sexy fun times?

(You can also answer with something your partner, whether sub or Dom(me), wears that gets you going.)

I’ll start: part of the reason I posted this is that the combo of a miniskirt, pigtails, thigh-high socks, crop top, and glasses makes my HusDom drop everything and get super Dommy with me. I have tested this multiple times with great success (but I should add that it doesn’t take much for him to decide that I need to be ravished, regardless of what I am or am not wearing lol); this specific outfit does seem to be a cheat code to getting him to go Super Dom, lol, versus just horny.

This is the latest film from auteur and New Queer Cinema pioneer Gregg Araki. It received a warm reception at Sundance earlier this year, and just had a minor run across theatres (at least in the US).

I’m personally a big fan of Araki (The Doom Generation is one of my favorite films ever), and was intrigued by the idea of a kink-forward comedy that also functions as commentary on cultural shifts, particularly for GenZ. Overall, I had mixed feelings. I think it overall worked really well as a dark satire with acerbic dialogue and canny meta observations about new generational attitudes towards sex, relationships, the fear of failure in both, and the voyuerism that comes with perpetually mining one’s self for the endless churn of content and spectacle. For all that is great about this film, as a member of the kink community, I found myself sighing at yet another portrayal of a kinky D/s relationship >!laden with toxicity or played up for laughs, even if the situation weirdly works for the couple!<.

Has anyone else seen this film? Would love to hear thoughts, especially given that kink-forward films that somewhat reach the zeitgeist are so few and far between.

I know this comes up often, but I just wanted to share a personal growth moment where I think being a dynamic has played a role.

I’m having a rough adjustment to my new job, and got some negative feedback recently. Therapy has helped me process tough news a lot better, but it’s still hard to hear. I texted my HusDom about it, and what he sent me was full of love, praise, and encouragement. He wasn’t trying to fix things, or just like dismiss the feedback as invalid in an attempt to prop me up (which is what I’ve experienced from prior - primarily vanilla - partners). As I read and re-read his words, what I would be inclined to dismiss as inauthentic from anyone else hit me so hard, and makes me…believe it? Like I actually am capable, can pick myself up and learn, and I’ve got this. I don’t need to fear failure because I’m growing and learning, and he’s there to catch me when I stumble.

Maybe it’s just love, maybe it’s the dynamic, maybe it’s both. I just know that his words carry a weight and specialness that no one else’s does. This man has seen the deepest, most vulnerable parts of me through our shared kinks and depravities. I know he sees all of it as precious and tells me that often, and maybe that’s why I know I can trust anything and everything he says. He’s also not someone who minces words. It’s scary (for me at least), coming to rely on someone else like that so wholly. But he shows up, time and time again, in a way no one else has.

Between hip abductors, Bulgarian split squats, and cool sexy dance moves I’m learning at pole classes, my butt is looking great. This morning I decided to lean over slightly and give the HusDom a lil’ shimmy.

Him: bend over more

Me: (bend forward slightly but also ???)

Him: a little more

Me: (I do it, it’s hard to look back at him) wha-

Him: PERFECT! (Followed by the biggest two-handed spank on my 🍑*)*

Y’all, if only my glares could shoot laser beams 😖 and to top it off his defense was, “it just looked so juicy and spankable” 😑😑😑 these bratty doms, I can’t sometimes lol

Edit to add: spanking is very much a part of our normal play. It was an ouchie in the moment but I quickly recovered, and HusDom received a very thorough snuggle attack after. That’ll teach him!…?

Or, if you’re not seeing anyone right now, what’s a specific thing you’re drawn to in a D/s, M/s, or other kink partner?

Just a little thoughtstarter for a Monday ☺️ I’d love to hear about what draws you in that might be outside the “norm”. What’s unique to them, or their D/s style, that you just can’t get enough of? Maybe it was something immediate, maybe it’s something that developed over time.

For me, my husband (and Dom) tends to come across as a very reticent man (like Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec). As I’ve gotten to know him and love him, he has the subtlest tells in his eyes that show his joy, love, and excitement (and on occasion, an unbridled laugh). Whether it’s because we are listening to a great orchestral score, or he is watching me cum for him over and over again, or because of any of life’s highs, I drink in and could survive off of that subtle mirth. I will never, ever take for granted that he can freely show me that joyous side of himself.

My HusDom and I have a free-use agreement at night. So it’s pretty normal for him to request (or order) me to service or pleasure him in some way. I love doing it, but this morning I felt a little sassier and more worked up than usual.

Him: Kitten, are you gonna service my cock this morning?

Me: mmm, that sounds nice Daddy, but what’s in it for me?

Him: my adoration for what a good cockslut you are

Me: that’s nice, but what’s else?

Him: I have so much praise to heap on you when you make me cum

Me: cool, what else?

Him: do a great job, and there may be multiple orgasms in your future, today and tomorrow

Me: sounds hot. What else? 😈

At this point, he just fisted my hair and shoved my face and mouth onto his cock and started deep throating me. To be clear, I was very pleased with this outcome, just wanted to see how long he’d take the sass 🤭

There’s something so aesthetic about picturing a blindfolded sub, waiting in anticipation for pain (or pleasure). But sensory play can be so much more than that.

Is sensory play and / or deprivation a kink for you? What’s appealing to you about it, and what are your go-to tools or implements?

I’ll start: while I don’t crave it as much as i used to, I like being blindfolded and combining it with sound deprivation via noise-cancelling headphones (really helps quell the ADHD thoughts and lets me focus on either the sensations coming at me, or just with mentally focusing on submission). Sometimes my partner will play music or an erotic audio, other times it’s just white noise or no sound at all. We recently did a furniture play scene that combined bondage, sensory deprivation, and temperature play to turn me into my Dom’s ultimate drink holder and side table (and at one point, foot stool). I went deeeeeep into a very blissful subspace for a good portion of the afternoon.

Just a lil’ rant, bear with me.

Long story short, I’m fending off a nasty bugger of a UTI (my first one, to boot), and it’s left me sexless and needy for all the kinky things. That said, the thought of anything going down there right now is simultaneously 🥵 and 😰🤢 To boot, my period is about to start soon, so it’s out of the frying pan and into the fire.

I just need my Daddy to fuck me senseless 😭

DAE get like this when they are unwell? Just me?

(FWIW, my partner and Dom has been my emotional support pillar throughout all of this. He’s been getting me my meds, bringing me food, water, and cuddles, and is all around just the only person I can imagine weathering this storm with. He’s also enforcing the “no sex till you’re better” very seriously, out of concern, but still.)

Less about when things go wrong, more about the silly things that happen because we are human. Do you laugh things off? How do you handle when something goes “off-script” or “unexpectedly”?

I’ll go first: during a scene today, my Dom grabbed me by the hair and forced me to kneel to service him. As I started deep-throating him, all of a sudden I heard a bright “PING!” next to my ear. It was his Apple Watch, for some reason unmuted, letting him know he hit his stand goal for the day 😂 We both stopped, stared for a second, and started laughing. We did get back to the scene pretty quickly, but it felt good to laugh at the moment.

like ofc she had a whole album literally called “brat”

the video is 🥵 but also it’s just such a wonderfully tongue-in-cheek, playfully ironic song about claiming to be a “grown-up good girl” now…wink wink

Idk lol it lowkey resonated with the smart-ass princess gremlin in my brain 😂

The feeling of your embrace after a long week. Your hands trailing up and down my body, the touch asking, nay, demanding more.

Each step finds me with one less article of clothing, one less piece of armor I had carefully assembled to face the week, one less layer of performative perfection for the outside world.

I am exposed as I crawl towards you, and yet I have never felt safer and freer than when I am in your arms and held in your thrall.

The world asks me to be a warrior, and so I must. Only you see me as I am: yours to command, yours to use, yours to cherish and adore. Transform me, my love, and in these liminal spaces we create, allow me the joy of devoting myself to you.