Dating with a BDSM kink
Does anybody else struggle a bit with dating while having a BDSM kink?
I’ve been a kinky dom ever since I can remember. Almost every hook up I’ve had in my life has involved me doming the other guy in some way. It’s to the point that I’m not really interested in regular sex. Maybe if I’m in love with the person but it’s not my first choice.
I’m in my early 30s and don’t feel much satisfaction using random subs from hook up apps like I used to when I was younger.
I’ve started being more intentional and going on dates from dating apps. The only issue I run into is that I don’t know if the other person is into these kinds of things before dating them like I do on apps like Recon or Grindr.
I don’t want to lead with sex while in an early dating phase but I also can’t imagine settling down with somebody who’s not down to be my kinky and obedient sub. I also don’t have a strong need or desire for the dom/ sub dynamic to exist outside of the bedroom. I want a “normal” or “traditional” relationship with somebody who knows his place behind closed doors.
Does anybody else run into this? And if so, how do you navigate it? The last guy I dated just happened to be extremely sub but I didn’t know that until a few dates in. It was kind of hot having that come up naturally rather than at the very beginning like most hook ups.
I do feel that I naturally attract submissive men but I also don’t want to waste my time (or anybody else’s) if they’re not into the same things as me. Is there a way to test this early on without directly bringing it up?