feeling very alone right now
hi, im a part of a DID system, the biological age of which is 26 (almost 27). i've only posted here once before, but I'm on a different account than usual cause i can't get into my normal one. it's hard for me to even come into spaces like this because i feel so alone as a little/age regressor, i've never had a good experience with a dom but i also cant turn this part of myself off or ignore it because for me it's a completely involuntary dissociative response related to CPTSD. i feel so alone in it that i don't even like to talk to other littles/subs about it because i usually feel like they don't get how mentally scary and unpleasant my experience with being a sub is for me, and/or i'm jealous of them for having a more positive experience. i don't want to be out right now because i don't feel safe or have any people or strategies that i can use as an effective emotional anchor, but the whole system is really stressed out right now so i'm kind of getting stuck at the front tonight. i had a destabilising experience today and i'm really overwhelmed and stressed out because i live alone so i have no distraction, my phone isn't working rn so i can't contact anyone, and i'm all alone in this apartment i live in and have to figure out how to go to bed and eat and i just want a grownup