"his secretary sends the gift cards" red flag or am I paranoid?
I've never had a situation I couldn't read on my own before, but I can't get a clear gut-check on this one, and I'd really value your eyes.
I met him through an app 10 months ago. We got together slowly a lot of back and forth because I kept testing whether he was serious, and he stayed through all of it. We've called almost daily the whole time. sharing WhatsApp, photos, videos etc. We are long distance relationship but he will come visit me soon.
He's kind, genuinely sweet, and we have a soft D/s dynamic. A few months in he started telling me I wouldn't have to work, and that even if I wanted to, he'd cover everything. He kept giving me SD vibes but it never started like that. I vanilla dated him until it just automatically happened because I kept hinting at wanting a soft life and being spoiled etc.
On the money side:
- First he sent gift cards, 3 of them was 100% legit, I redeemed it and actually got the products. (The email he has for me is a dedicated SB one; he thinks it's just my normal email.)
- Then for my birthday (which is soon), he wants me to buy a necklace from a popular brand in my country, that sells beautiful necklaces.. he sent a jewellery gift card and this is the one that set off the alarm. It arrived issued under a completely different person's name, a woman I've never heard of with a "Happy Birthday X!". When I asked, he said it was "complicated" and he'd had to get his secretary to sort it. The "secretary" comes up every time money moves (thats what he said) including once when he said she had to "transfer money into his online card" before I could order something, and she'd do it "tomorrow" because she was out of town.
I have NOT redeemed the jewellery one. A birthday gift under a stranger's name felt wrong.
Other things that might matter:
- I later came across old traces of him with an ex on Facebook, and it looks like he was a "provider" for her too.
- It's always gift cards. Never cash, never a normal allowance or transfer. I don't want that, I'm fine with GC as long as HE sends them under his name etc..
OH, when I googled the secretary I did find her LinkedIn so shes legit, and seems real too.. but idk?
My questions: (1) Does "my secretary handles the money" sound legit to anyone, or is it a known move? (2) The scary one: if a gift card he sends turns out NOT to have been bought on his own card, can I be in legal trouble for redeeming it?
also he's been invested in our relationship daily, hourly, he's been kind, sweet, idk why I have never really had any reason to suspect until now.
(Again want to clarify I have not redeemed this gift card.. it has xxx amount in it...)
Thank you so much in advance I trust this community's read more than my own right now.