r/SugarBABYonlyforum

are we actually giving access to our “secret folder” pictures? & do y’all actually have anything “”interesting”” there because I just added crap since it was required 🤔 just a thought

I met a man through Seeking, and we seem to have very different ideas about how an arrangement should begin.

I wanted to discuss expectations and boundaries clearly, what kind of relationship we’re looking for, what support or allowance would look like, and how we can make sure neither person feels used or confused. He says that approaching it this way makes me “too transactional.” His perspective is that two emotionally healthy people should allow things to happen naturally based on chemistry, and that if we genuinely like each other, he will naturally want to take care of me.

I understand wanting chemistry and not making every interaction feel like a business negotiation. I’m not asking him to pay me for every date or pretending that emotional compatibility doesn’t matter. But because we met on Seeking, I assumed there was already an arrangement-based or transactional element to the connection. To me, discussing it directly protects both people from developing completely different expectations.

I also don’t want to invest emotional energy, intimacy, and time based on a vague promise that he’ll “take care of me” eventually if the chemistry is good enough. That sounds more like traditional dating, while I understood Seeking to involve more explicit expectations from the beginning.

Am I approaching this too transactionally, or are we simply incompatible in how we understand an arrangement? Is his approach normal on Seeking, or is avoiding a clear conversation usually a warning sign?

So I’ve been on seeking for a few months and I’ve recently met a potential SD who I really vibe with. Being transparent I do consider myself a bit picky, so it has been a bit of a uphill battle to find someone I connect with and am attracted to.

With that being said, how do I make sure he is looking for an arrangement and not a vanilla GF. Should I just ask him? Or do I risk losing him if he is one of men that are wary of “transactional” arrangements. We have only met once for a quick lunch and now he is back in my city this weekend. We are planning for a dinner and I’d like to see him - but I’d also like to know what he is looking for.

Sorry if this was long winded, but if anyone entered into a similar situation I’d like to hear your thoughts. Or any thoughts from anyone with more experience here than me! Thanks <3

i’ve been seeing a lot of people saying that they have found other sites than the common ones like SD Meet or SB, such as X, but it’s full of fakes.

i hate how saturated everything has gotten and it makes me so frustrated anytime bots show up. like what happened to everything. frustrated.

Hi ladies! I’m thinking of dipping back into sugaring and am curious. For those who sugar with married/attached men, do you want to get married on day? If yes, if you were then cheated on by your husband, would you view it differently? Do you consider yourselves to be a girl’s girl?

I realize that this post may come off a little bitchy but it’s genuinely not the intention! Majority of men in sugaring are married so I know it helps your chances of finding a genuine SD. I think I’m trying to decide if I can stomach getting involved with someone who has a partner.

What are the pros and cons of each

The mod team has talked and decided (on a trial basis) to provide a once weekly thread allowing SDs to provide advice to and ask questions of our forum. Some of the comments we have received (and questions asked via modmail) have been thought provoking and we aim to ensure that all readers of this forum benefit from a different perspective.

However, this is a space for women by women. If you (SDs/men) cannot adhere to the below rules and rules of the forum, you will be treated accordingly.

The rules are as follows:

1. Commentary can only be on this weekly thread. Any responses to other weekly threads or posts made on this forum by an SD will result in a ban.
2. Johns and trolls will be banned.
3. Drama mongering, incel mindsets, misogyny deleted and perpetrators will be banned.
4. This is not an R4R forum, meaning no solicitation, let’s meet up, are you in my area, comments or messages.
5. No drama, brigading, crossposting, and bringing issues from other forums/posts to this forum.
6. All other rules of this forum apply. Read them and adhere to them.
7. Karma limits will be enforced, so don’t make a throwaway. Back up what you say with a post history.
8. If in doubt, message modmail, we’re always happy to answer any questions.
9. We allow members to talk about what they receive in numbers, not using x,xxx language. If you don’t feel comfortable outright naming, feel free to redact but be specific with the range ie: low x,xxx, mid x,xxx or high x,xxx.

Keep it fun, light, and informative.

Ladies, below comment some questions you would like to ask an SD.

Fellas, below comment some questions you would like to ask the SBs of this forum.

Ok so I’m going a little f\*cking crazy right now. I met a POT on bumble, he told me that he’s married and looking for discretion. We’ve been chatting for a little over a month but we’ve only had 1 date, I’ve been too busy with work stuff to schedule another so we’ve just been keeping in touch daily until we could see each other again.

On the first date, he spent maybe xxx on new outfits for me. Since then, he’s probably sent me another xxx. He’s been a bit vulgar but I understand his interest in wanting to get together and be intimate, I told him that he’d have to get tested and whatnot and he agreed.

OUT OF THE BLUE, he sends me a message asking me to send him pictures of me and a strangers d*k pick ( I didn’t send photos of myself because I was at work and wasn’t on my phone.) without me even replying, I guess he went onto bumble, took screenshots of my photos, and started chatting with strange men in god knows what kind of chat room.

He said he only sent one of my photos to multiple men.

Obviously I’m mortified, I’ve been out of the bowl for about 2 years and he was the first guy I gave a chance since I got back . Now some strangers in my city know what I look like and think I want to sleep with them. This is legitimately the craziest thing that has happened to me in the bowl and now I feel like I should never post a photo of myself again. I’m so stressed out right now.

He said sorry for doing that and I told him never to contact me again. He said he isn’t a sex trafficker but that’s literally what sex traffickers do??

I don’t know who he sent my photos to, if he was pretending to be me, or what he said to those men. I don’t even know how to navigate this situation at all. I know he’s blocked but now I feel like there’s some weirdo out there trying to keep a lookout for me now, maybe I’m overthinking.

That’s the end of my vent I guess 😭 what the hell do you guys think about this shit??

talking to pots over last few years, most if not all mentioned raw sex and how their previous were ok wit that.

not only that but other shit like how girls r okay with low PPM/allowance, girls not asking for money or gifts etc.

the only guy that hasn’t bullshitted was a short term sd. he was actually the youngest out of all the men ive engaged with (mid 30s). we used condoms and he never guilt tripped otherwise. he gave what we agreed on. he never thought it was transactional. there was never any drama.

all the other men were 45+. starts off good then then they are wanting raw sex, lower ppm because he feels it’s transactional, constant drama and neediness. block, block and BLOCK.

maybe it’s cuz im younger and get told im innocent dumb naive and these guys r trying to gaslight me into thinking its the norm. but are u guys GENUINELY having raw sex? if so, why? (genuine question)…

So i’m f19 and recently met a a OLD NASTY grandpa who is a millionaire and owns a very successful vehicle business (yes i can confirm) so we met at an event and I kept in contact because I know he’s a very, very wealthy man and yesterday he took me to his home and he asked me for a kiss ,I ended up kissing him and let him sucked my boobs (It was disgusting).NGL i’m kinda not thrilled for the next visit because he might want sex but imma just close my eyes and be done with it. But now that it has happened i don’t want him to use me and i get little in return. I need advice on how to ask for large amounts of money and big gifts. I know he has bought girls cars in the past and i want to work my way up to that, but for now im just going to ask for a new iphone and a ipad. I know because of my age he might thing I’m naive and might not want to pay me much but imma not going for that. Also how to cope with letting a old smelly man touch me 🫶🏽💕

So I have this date upcoming with a very good potential POT. We agreed to 650 ppm.He just asked me if we would get physical on the first date or not,as he would have to book a hotel or what I would prefer. I told him that I would like to wait 1 or 2 dates in order to get to know him more.Actually I just wanted to play good girl as I sensed that that is what he likes. Now he just asked me if I want to get paid for the first dates too. OF COURSE I WANT TO GET PAID. Some might think that this is a redflag but no he is just straightforward with his questions and kind of aloof. How should I answer the question? I do not want to sound too money focused, I still want him to have the good girl image of me

Have you guys had an SD who was already in a relationship? I’m suspecting my SD is in one and I’m not sure what to do/how to feel about it or if I should just ignore it. We don’t go on dates or go out anymore but he is very generous and helpful. However he doesn’t want me to see anyone else but him but I also miss being able to go on dates

Either in terms of ppm, allowance, or what he expected from you.

I was looking at dresses both in my local thrift store as well as Pretty Little Thing. My sense of style has always been complimented but mostly by women, I’m unsure where to look for the types of dresses or outfits that would appeal to a SD.

I'm 18F and wondered about sugar dating and everything and got a few people wanting to try it with me, i blocked everyone tho. Is this worth it? Should I do it if I do it'd only be out of curiosity and the money and gifts are good but they're not enough for me to get into this. Tbh I have no real requirements for money, I live quite comfortably with my parents and if I do want something dress etc I can get those. I still wonder tho should I do sugaring for a month or smthg. The thing is I'm not gonna have sex with anyone nor do I like being touched by everyone but some of the men said they'd pay me just to meet and talk idk should I do it or not cause extra money doesn't hurt 😔🎀 And these men are all pedophiles honestly cause why are you as a 40 year old wanting to be with someone who just turned 18

So should I do it or not?

I'm really excited here "Okay girls, for my next date my Sugar Daddy wants to take me to a strip club! Give me all the tea, especially my SBs who have done this. What exactly should I expect, how do I make sure he’s spending money on me instead of just the stage, and what do I wear to ensure I’m still the hottest girl in the room? Help a sister out!"

By popular demand, we have decided to have a weekly Meme thread! Post all of your laughs and funnies on this thread!

The posting guidelines are as follows:

- No profiles or screenshots of men being weird. Save that for Weekly Weirdos.

- Do not share any personal information such as name, age, location, ethnicity, etc.

- No crossposting or direct links to other forums

Have fun!

Hello,

I’m new to sugar dating and haven’t had luck with anyone that meets me regularly. I kept reading the posts and I decided to make my PPM 800. Well apparently that’s too high for my area and scares off 90% of the people. I even got a comment ‘You’re not a 800 kind of girl’. Anyway the other day I talked to someone who said he can do long term if he does 600 and said he can pay me biweekly instead. I refused because I felt it was too low, but did I make a mistake?

Dating can be tough and dating as a SB is even tougher. Most guys would probably never date a woman who is or was a SB (just being honest). With the in mind, why is dating a SD who you know is genuinely a good guy, not be an option? He knows what you do, doesn't have an issue with your past and wants to be with you.

Older guys tend to be more open because they have life experience and understands everyone has a past, so they focus on the now and future.

Is the Disney fairytale of romance that ingrained into our society when it comes to dating? Yes, the movie Pretty Woman was a movie but it has happened to some clients and companions and they are happily married.

I've never had a situation I couldn't read on my own before, but I can't get a clear gut-check on this one, and I'd really value your eyes.

I met him through an app 10 months ago. We got together slowly a lot of back and forth because I kept testing whether he was serious, and he stayed through all of it. We've called almost daily the whole time. sharing WhatsApp, photos, videos etc. We are long distance relationship but he will come visit me soon.

He's kind, genuinely sweet, and we have a soft D/s dynamic. A few months in he started telling me I wouldn't have to work, and that even if I wanted to, he'd cover everything. He kept giving me SD vibes but it never started like that. I vanilla dated him until it just automatically happened because I kept hinting at wanting a soft life and being spoiled etc.

On the money side:

• First he sent gift cards, 3 of them was 100% legit, I redeemed it and actually got the products. (The email he has for me is a dedicated SB one; he thinks it's just my normal email.)
• Then for my birthday (which is soon), he wants me to buy a necklace from a popular brand in my country, that sells beautiful necklaces.. he sent a jewellery gift card and this is the one that set off the alarm. It arrived issued under a completely different person's name, a woman I've never heard of with a "Happy Birthday X!". When I asked, he said it was "complicated" and he'd had to get his secretary to sort it. The "secretary" comes up every time money moves (thats what he said) including once when he said she had to "transfer money into his online card" before I could order something, and she'd do it "tomorrow" because she was out of town.

I have NOT redeemed the jewellery one. A birthday gift under a stranger's name felt wrong.

Other things that might matter:

• I later came across old traces of him with an ex on Facebook, and it looks like he was a "provider" for her too.
• It's always gift cards. Never cash, never a normal allowance or transfer. I don't want that, I'm fine with GC as long as HE sends them under his name etc..

OH, when I googled the secretary I did find her LinkedIn so shes legit, and seems real too.. but idk?

My questions: (1) Does "my secretary handles the money" sound legit to anyone, or is it a known move? (2) The scary one: if a gift card he sends turns out NOT to have been bought on his own card, can I be in legal trouble for redeeming it?

also he's been invested in our relationship daily, hourly, he's been kind, sweet, idk why I have never really had any reason to suspect until now.

(Again want to clarify I have not redeemed this gift card.. it has xxx amount in it...)

Thank you so much in advance I trust this community's read more than my own right now.