Why is that easy for him to leave?
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So me(18M) and my Ex(18M) were together for a while, and honestly he was one of the most important people in my life. Like, he was the person I waited to text me every morning, the person I always wanted around, and I genuinely thought we were building toward a future together.
A few days ago he suddenly got distant for like two days straight. Barely talked to me at all. I could tell something was wrong, but It was a small misunderstandingthe we will get over.
He eventually sent me this huge message apologizing for being distant and explaining that lately he’s been thinking a lot about our future. He basically said that the idea of us getting married feels less and less realistic to him because of his family and how uncomfortable he feels about ever being open about our relationship. He said his parents’ opinions matter a lot to him, and he doesn’t think he could ever fully go against them or put them in a position where they’d have to accept it.
He kept saying that I’m not the problem and that he still loves me, cares about me, enjoys being with me, etc. But then he also said he doesn’t think he can emotionally continue the relationship because he feels like he’d just be “wasting my time” if it probably won’t end in marriage.
The thing is… I understand WHY he feels that way. I know family pressure is real, and I know it’s not easy. But at the same time I can’t stop feeling hurt because it feels like he just decided the relationship was doomed without even trying to figure things out together first.
Like, couples struggle with imagining the future ALL the time. Isn’t that something you talk through together before giving up completely?
And what honestly made everything hurt even more is that literally 5 days after the breakup, I found out he already started texting a female friend of a friend. Maybe it’s nothing serious, maybe he’s just trying to distract himself, I genuinely don’t know.
But from my perspective it completely messed with my head because I’m still here crying over someone I can’t stop loving while he already seems capable of moving on enough to talk to someone else.
It made me start questioning everything. Like was he emotionally checked out way before he ended things? Did he already know he was done while I was still trying to hold onto us?
And now I keep spiraling wondering if maybe he just didn’t love me enough to actually fight for us. Because if someone truly loved you, wouldn’t they at least TRY before ending things?
I hate that I still love him too. I’ll spend like a week angry at him and then suddenly miss him so much it physically hurts. I genuinely don’t know how to process the fact that the person I cared about most basically decided loving me wasn’t enough.