Think it's time
So I'm an alcoholic, recently diagnosed schizophrenic, BPD and clinical depressed chap since I can remember. I'm getting kicked out, I'm 30 and have brought nothing but pain to those around me for a long time. Its me and my dog, that's my life. But there's nowhere for us to go. There's seemingly no out of this, and I don't think things have the capacity to improve. I can't leave my dog alone in this world, and he has his own health issues to boot (he prolapses when he poops) and I think that it's probably just the right call to clean up my room, do what I need to do to not leave a mess, and just take me and my dog to the next plain in the hopes of the pain stopping for both of us. I've tried to die a couple times lately, didn't work cause either the car wouldn't start, the sleeping pills I took just didn't finish me off, I'm not brave enough to press a blade hard enough or whatever other reason. I don't want it to hurt, but I think some people just aren't meant to be alive, myself an example. I don't really know what I'm asking other than is there a way I can take me and my dog out together in a way that won't hurt either of us, and that my dog won't be afraid. I'm never going to hurt him, ever. He is so precious to me. But his biological clock is ticking, and its only gonna get worse for him. And I don't wanna be here, so I thought if theres a way for us to have one last cuddle and just sleep, then I think thats the way to go.