r/death

Thx for any feedback.

I do not like people. I really don't. People always have flaws and so many of them are ignorant/selfish/dumb. I do not understand why doesn't the government endorse this? If I was alone or nearly alone in my everyday life forever and everywhere I go, life would be much much better for me.

Generally and personally speaking, do you believe all of life's questions will be answered in death even though there's currently no good reasons to believe that will happen?

So, I will say first off, I am 21, healthy, and in no way dying soon. But, earlier today, I kinda ruined my mood by reading up on the process of dying out of pure curiosity, and people talk a lot about having supernatural or spiritual-like experiences when they're in the process of dying such as seeing family members, friends, etc. or people who have loved ones who are dying and they have an experience of seeing the said person in their dreams shortly before they die.

I lost my grandfather several years ago at this point, but I never had any dreams about him or anything like that, and I was in class in middle school when I had gotten checked out because he passed on, but didn't receive a single sign beforehand that he was about to die.

Also, I don't really lucid dream, and when I do dream, my dreams are usually faint and make zero sense, and I've never had any kind of supernatural or spiritual-like experience of seeing dead people and stuff. I think the closest I've gotten was like shortly after my grandpa's death, one of my former friends claimed she had seen him speaking to her, and I honestly couldn't tell if she was serious or not, but I was also still grieving at the time so I was a little mad at her for saying that.

I'm honestly very convinced when it's my time to go sometime in the far future, I'm probably not going to see anyone or any kind of past memory right before I die, and it'll be more of a lights-out kind of death for me. Does anyone else feel this way? I have a hard time believing these experiences people describe are actually real, but only because I haven't had one myself.

So I'm an alcoholic, recently diagnosed schizophrenic, BPD and clinical depressed chap since I can remember. I'm getting kicked out, I'm 30 and have brought nothing but pain to those around me for a long time. Its me and my dog, that's my life. But there's nowhere for us to go. There's seemingly no out of this, and I don't think things have the capacity to improve. I can't leave my dog alone in this world, and he has his own health issues to boot (he prolapses when he poops) and I think that it's probably just the right call to clean up my room, do what I need to do to not leave a mess, and just take me and my dog to the next plain in the hopes of the pain stopping for both of us. I've tried to die a couple times lately, didn't work cause either the car wouldn't start, the sleeping pills I took just didn't finish me off, I'm not brave enough to press a blade hard enough or whatever other reason. I don't want it to hurt, but I think some people just aren't meant to be alive, myself an example. I don't really know what I'm asking other than is there a way I can take me and my dog out together in a way that won't hurt either of us, and that my dog won't be afraid. I'm never going to hurt him, ever. He is so precious to me. But his biological clock is ticking, and its only gonna get worse for him. And I don't wanna be here, so I thought if theres a way for us to have one last cuddle and just sleep, then I think thats the way to go.