r/death

Some people from church passed away last year. One of them passed away today. One was in his early 40s and one in her late 40s. How do you deal with death? My parents are still alive and they're in their late 70s. I know they might go any time also. How do you deal with death?

This is me venting.

I was diagnosed as terminally ill at 28, came out of hospice and am now 33. I went through all of it homeless and alone, didnt talk to my family at that time. Also I didnt plan for a back up and since then I've had, at least one, in terms of resources.

I dont have any family besides my mentally ill mother, who I financially and emotionally take care of. I have a lot of childhood trauma, and it didnt get much better as an adult.

Ive moved all across the country with less than a few hundred bucks at times. I just lost my health insurance, lost my best friend, had my heartbroken all in the last 30 days. I dont really have actual friends. And tonight I lost my only local friend. Ive lived out of a suitcase and my duffle for almost or over a decade now. I cant even keep books, everything i own weighs too much already.

I dont know if I should care about any of that, my insurance, or my health in general. I pack my stuff up every night in case the person im renting this Airbnb from finds me. I was just in the hospital a couple of weeks ago and almost died. After i survived they wanted to put my on a psych hold. I told them they cant tell me im dying any day and when I accept it think I want it to happen. I didnt get placed on a hold, thank God.

I have no purpose in typing this other than I need to say it somewhere. I dont know what's going to happen but after all of that would it sound crazy to say I'm excited for whatever it ends up being?

Sorry if you're going through any at all similar to this. I hooe you have happiness and peace today at least!

x

Hello, I have came to Reddit for some advice, how does one deal with a stubborn parent with heart failure? Let me rewind, my father has been a smoker and alcoholic for years on end, last week he had gotten two heart attacks in one day, they released him this Tuesday and between then and now he’s been eating very unhealthy and he doesn’t want anyone to tell him anything, he went to the hospital yesterday because he had shortness of breath, they told him they missed something and was going to ward him again, he declined and refused medical care! He lied to my mother about this and we found out through my grandmother who had gone to check him and was informed of his dismissal.

This is absolutely crazy to me, no one knows what he has until I did my own research to realize he has congestive heart failure considering all his symptoms. I know what’s to come, but it feels like so much to process in just one week. I know to his mind he feels like it’s too late to change, but why come home to die on our watch to traumatize your family, I even set a boundary with my mom if he passes in the night, not to wake me, selfish or not, I need to protect my mental health of seeing him like that. There is so much to say, but please! I would like any advice given.

I’m 19F.. it’s a long story. I’ll like some comfort and discussion about death from some wiser people to help me feel better

I've been thinking about what I'd want done with my body when I eventually die.

Honestly, I don't want anything particularly elaborate.

Put me in a simple cloth bag. Dig a hole of the right depth and size. Lay me down gently. Cover me up.

Let. Me. Rest.

I'm not sure how I feel about having a viewing, though. I understand that funerals and viewings are really for the living, not the person who died, so I can see why they might matter to people who love me. I just don't know whether I'd actually want my body displayed.

I guess I'm wondering: is it fair to ask for something this simple, even if the people I leave behind might want a viewing or a more traditional funeral?

What do you think?

I (32M) lost my mother 2 months ago she had pneumonia and stayed in the hospital for 34 days than she passed away in there i have nothing and no one left in my family my life is so meaningless and all i want is to be with my mother my days are passing with agony and pain

i just cant take it anymore there is nothing but a dark path ahead of me i just want it to end

i pray to god everyday to take my life before i do it myself..

so yes im waiting for you death come take me please..

I literally have nothing else my father died my brother doesn’t care about me I can’t work I have nothing else to live for except my mother honestly she carried me through many difficult times she is my backbone it’s shame I can’t earn for her I’ll just end my world if something ever happens to her going out made me realise that only one who cares about me is my mother I love you mummy you are the best mother in the whole world but I couldn’t be the best son

There's nothing to be afraid of. It's like a warm embrace softly reminding you that your time is up, and that someone else should live in your place. Nothing is really scary about it, just think of it as an "oh okay" moment. Pain is different than death. I'm sure nobody would fear death if there was no pain.

Me, my mom and my grandma were keeping watch as he slowly passed. His room was too quiet. When I ran out of things to talk about with him I sang to him. By the time I had gotten there he could no longer speak or open his eyes. But he squeezed my hand while I talked and sang to him.
My mom stepped out to take the dogs out back at her house. I walked into his room to talk to him before I hopped in the shower. I grabbed his hand and said, “hey grandpa it’s my name.” He took one last rattling breath in and exhaled. There wasn’t another inhale. I sat there waiting for it. He’d been taking longer and longer to breathe and I thought surely he’d inhale. He didn’t.
I grabbed my grandma so she could say goodbye. I spent summers with my grandparents as a kid. He was the person who loved me most in the world. My mom had been at his side for two weeks straight. I had to tell her that he passed on the phone. She’s never talked to me about how it made her feel. Only shed a couple tears. My grandma too. They both thought they had to be strong. I had no one to break down with. I sobbed.
The moments following his death were hectic as family friends came in. I resent that they intruded and started yelling at me to call my mom. I told them I tried and they said to keep trying. They told me harshly to call the hospice and I couldn’t find the number. I was there with him during his last breaths but the minutes following I was so stressed. It was supposed to be calm. I feel robbed of my last moments with him. Instead of being able to say goodbye I was being order around to do things. I had never seen someone die before. So I just listened to what I was being told to do. I wish I had stood my ground. My heart breaks for my mom who wasn’t there and me and my grandma who were running around stressed instead of taking our last moments with him. I try and take comfort in those first few minutes of peace but all I can focus on is what happened after and I’m so angry. He was dead. There was no need to rush anything.
The only one who cried with me later was my uncle. He was trying to make it before my grandpa passed and he couldn’t. We cried together and talked. I’m so thankful for him. I wish I could’ve had that with my mom and grandma but they aren’t those kind of people. They only cry when they’re alone.
I woke up thinking about my grandpa passing and needed to get the thoughts out. Thanks for listening.