I think my husband might be submissive?
Hey so I’ve been with my husband for 17 years. We’ve never had the most exciting sex life and we did some experimenting when we were younger but nothing really stuck.
But as of lately our sex life has really bloomed. My libido kind of completely turned around and I went from almost avoiding sex and only being intimate like once a month to pursuing it everyday.
But the thing is, he can be very shy and avoidant when talking about anything related to sex so it’s hard to get him to tell me what he wants and likes.
I recently told him I wanted my hair pulled, maybe verbally degraded and he basically said he wasn’t comfortable with it but we could try. On another occasion, I hopped on his lap and told him I wanted to go upstairs. Once we got up there he just awkwardly stood there and when I asked if he was okay he said “Oh… I just thought you wanted to be the aggressor”
So he hasn’t out right said anything nor do I think he would admit it if I blatantly asked… but I feel like the signs are there… so what should I do in this situation?
Obviously consent is very important and I wouldn’t want to cross any boundaries but I also want to help him explore that side. So I’m caught between just going for it and possibly making him feel trapped and forced into admitting something he’s not ready to admit to?
Should I just ignore the signs and continue our sex life as is?