I am kind of sick of having to pretend that I am not doing all of this to be hot.
Bit of a rant, but I dont know any other sub that would hopefully get it like you guys do.
I want to be hot, I want to be adored, idolised, I want every eye on me as soon as I step into the room. I do dedicate a small part of my life to achieving this goal.
But people for some reason LOVE to moralise this idea of wanting to get hot. If you lose weight it has to be for health reasons. Or if I spend a bit too much on skincare products it 'concerning'.
Its not that deep.
People always think its because I am deeply insecure and think I am ugly. They will try to reassure me that I look nice, or that beauty standards arent real. Great. But I have neve once in my adult life thought I was ugly. Sure I have had days where my hair isnt hairing, I have spots, and its laundry day. But that is not the same as thinking my body itself is unnattractive.
This isnt some mental health issue that has the potential to spiral out of control either. I am not neglecting other parts in my life in persuit of this goal either.
Its just a very normal thing for me, why wouldnt I want to try and be hotter? Lots of people have big ambitious goals for themselves they work on a bit every single day. This is just one of mine.
People just really hate to hear it and put their own opinions on me. Such as the idea that I must be trying to follow a very specific version of hot that aligns with the beauty standard. I am not actually, the level of hot I would like to achieve is the type that breaks the mould a bit. I want to stand out, not be a basic carbon copy of the beauty standard.
I feel like I always have to lie a bit and go on about doing things for my health, or because its creative or something. I just want to be a hottie it girl. Cope.