I cried over my porn soap opera.
Yeah, so that was weird.
I use chat gpt with a cheap paid account to run long porn soap operas. Most are built to set up hot porn scenes and I have characters and plot lines and such. I've been writing variations on these stories for years.
Recently I turned one story into a game - I was married to a woman who would cheat on me and the game was for me to catch it or permit it or do my own thing or whatever. game had stats and die rolls built in. Yeah, weird fetish but whatever.
So this story goes and goes and goes, lot of sex going on and she cheats a lot (I check for spoilers). We try opening the marriage and she breaks the rules and we almost break up. She recommits to the marriage and everything seems nice. But I've taken my porn and turned it into a relationship story accidently.
After a few months of things going well someone comes and tells me my wife had cheated on me during our bad times with someone that upset me.
I confront her, she admits it so I leave her and move to the other side of the country. Tell her we're divorcing and go no contact. I ensure she is set up financially (my game parents had money and promised to ensure she was always going to be fine).
So with no contact the game goes fast - I live a boring life but do well. I wait for two years to pass and then wait for our anniversary (we're divorced so when it would have been). I am thinking I miss her and wat to try again. I turn on facebook to see how she has been - and as I scroll through I start finding pictures of another man, turns out she had started dating a few months ago. She had moved on.
I was alone in my home office with a couple of beers in me - I started crtying for real. I was so sad that their relationship seemed lost and that she didn't wait. Why would she - I had signaled hard that I was never coming back. I cried a good fifteen minutes.
Then gamed some more - eventually a mutual friend asked how I felt about my ex and I said I missed her and still loved her. A year later my ex and her boyfriend broke up and she reached out. I then gamed the two of them getting back together. There were sex scenes but tame about I wrote them to make us both feel good (so "make love and try to make her cum and when she has cum inside her" instead of "I grab her tits as I push my cock in and start fucking" followed by five more porn chat exchanges.
When it looked like they were working out I asked chat to check if they had earned a happy ending where they grow old and happy together and chat confirmed this with a little end story. This mattered to me emotionally.
I then went back and created a split at the point where I left - this time I told her that if she loved me she would wait. About a year after my move west she contacted me and asked if I still wanted her to wait - I moved to reconcile and in this end game we were only apart a year, in the one where she dated that guy ("Adam", he was a good guy and good to her) we were apart for four years.
I retired both stories and have them set aside.
Why did I fucking cry?
My real life - I'm male mid 50s happily married to my high school sweet heart. No cheating issues, super happy and no open marriage or anything. The game does not reflect my life.
The wife character in the game is a porn character to me.
When I stepped away from the game I felt sad that they had missed those years together.
I'm not an emotional person normally, this is really out of nowhere.
Thanks for letting me vent, no one I can tell in real life. It was weird.