u/ItalianNugget420_69

June 5

I'ts a true story. I woke up feeling strange.

During the night, I remember waking up a few times. One of those times was to use the bathroom. I stayed awake for a long time before I managed to fall asleep again.

Around nine in the morning, I woke up once more.

I spent a few seconds staring at the ceiling without thinking about anything.

I placed my hand on the cage and immediately remembered everything.

The walk.

The key.

The glue.

The regret started to appear for real.

It wasn't full panic. Not yet.

But the feeling that I had gone too far was already there.

At the same time, another part of me kept trying to justify all of it.

It was a strange mix of conflicting emotions.

My rational side finally seemed to be regaining control, but it still had to compete with the impulses that had put me in that situation.

There was also a constant physical discomfort that reminded me of the problem whenever I tried to ignore it.

Breaking the key had already been a bad idea.

Throwing away the remaining piece had been worse.

Using glue in the mechanism after that was something I still couldn't explain.

I got up and went to eat something.

Fortunately, I didn't have any important commitments that day.

If I had, I have no idea how I would have managed to concentrate.

I spent most of the morning lying in bed trying to read.

It was impossible.

I read the same page several times without absorbing a single sentence.

My attention always returned to the same subject: the cage.

As the day went on, I started to notice something else.

The situation was already influencing my decisions.

I was acting in ways that I normally wouldn't.

Thinking about things that would normally seem absurd. Watching a lot of pornography.

At some moments, I felt completely convinced that this was only a temporary experience.

At others, it felt as though I had changed the course of my life because of a series of decisions made within just a few hours.

On the second night, the restlessness became even stronger. I was extremely aroused, making bad decisions.

I smoked more weed. I wrote "BETA" on my forehead, walked down the street, a couple of people saw me and laughed at me, and I kept walking until I reached a park.

When I got there, I took the cage out and started doing plapping, and I started thinking.

What scared me most wasn't the situation itself.

It was realizing how easily I had crossed boundaries that, just a few days earlier, I would have considered impossible to cross.

I started walking back home, and one question wouldn't leave my mind.

If I had been capable of doing all that in a single night...

What else would I be capable of?

June 3

True story.I've never told anyone about this, so maybe it makes sense to write it down here.

I'm 22 years old now, but my interest in chastity started much earlier. I was probably around 15 when I first discovered that world online. Back then it was just curiosity. Later, it became an interest that would come and go throughout the years.

When I turned 18, I bought my first cage. It wasn't anything dramatic. I used it a few times, mostly out of curiosity more than anything else. The longest I ever managed to stay locked was twelve consecutive days, and that was a long time ago. Since then, I've gone through phases where I completely forgot about it and others where I'd start thinking about it again.

Something strange happened today.

I spent part of the afternoon smoking weed. Nothing out of the ordinary. But as the evening went on, I found myself in a state of euphoria that's hard to explain. My mind seemed to jump from one idea to the next without slowing down.

I took a shower, got myself ready, and decided to put the cage on again. At the time, it seemed like a great idea. There wasn't much planning involved. It was more like a series of impulsive decisions happening too quickly for me to stop and think.

After that, I went out for a walk and smoked a little more.

I had the key in my pocket.

I remember the exact moment the idea appeared. There wasn't any specific reason for it. I simply thought, "What if I got rid of the key?"

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense.

Before I could reconsider, I did exactly that.

I broke the key.

The smaller piece remained stuck inside the lock. I threw the rest away. Far away. I can still remember feeling a strange sense of satisfaction as I watched the piece disappear into the darkness.

At that moment, it felt like a final decision. Almost symbolic.

I went back home feeling good.

But that feeling started to change the moment I walked through the door.

The euphoria was still there, but a thought began to emerge in the back of my mind.

"What now?"

I walked into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and noticed a tube of super glue.

Looking back on it now, what happened next seems absurd.

Even though I was already starting to realize that I might have gone too far, I picked up the glue and used it to make any future attempt to open the lock even more difficult.

It was another decision made in a matter of seconds.

When I was done, I stood there for a few minutes, staring at it.

For the first time that night, I felt a discomfort that was difficult to ignore.

It wasn't exactly regret.

It was more the feeling that I was probably going to regret this.

Just not yet.

At that moment, it still didn't feel like a real problem.