u/Key-Professor4177

I literally need to see the sunlight every morning or else I go insane.

Was thinking about coming out of a one year retirement after saying I’ll never go back. My mom is out of town this week and I was invited to apply at a close friend’s club, it’s now or never. Nervous to put in my application and audition. Danced around in the mirror in my old outfits and felt something I haven’t felt in a long time. I don’t know if this is the right move. Can’t sleep at all. 🥲

I quit dancing at the beginning on the year due to addiction, toxic relationship (not romantic), sleep deprivation etc. I got sober, started my business and literally said I would never go back, but didn’t throw away my outfits and heels so I guess that says something. I danced since I was 18 and am 22 now.

I moved back into my parents place have been making money through my true passion which is my business. It’s been going well but I really want to move out and be independent again. My friend from the club I worked at years ago and I have reconnected, become close and she invited me to work where she’s at. It’s apparently chill, no touch, not full nude, lax scheduling and understanding manager.

I know it would help me get a rental while I build my business, move me to the city I want to be in, give me the independence and freedom I crave. I also deal with the guilt/shame of going back on what I promised myself. Also that I am taking energy that I could be using for my business. I felt like if i kept going how I was before, i was going to die. I know im a different, healthier person now. I don’t want to lose myself again. Any thoughts or even kind words? 🥲