F32 Trying to understand my preferences. submissive or something else?
I’m trying to understand myself better and would really appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who actually have experience with this.
Also I did a BDSM test recently and my results were kind of… weird 😅 100% submissive, 100% brat, medium rope bunny and degradee, and basically 0% dominant. So that’s also why I’m asking here.
I’m not posting this to find someone here. I’m from a small country so it’s not really realistic.
In real life I’m very independent and I don’t want a controlling relationship at all. But sexually it’s very different…
I like the idea of not being in control in the moment, being told what to do, guided, teased, made to wait, that kind of stuff. I think I’m drawn to power dynamics where the other person leads, but in a way that still feels safe. I also like things like restraint (in a safe way of course) and just that feeling of being “handled”
I also noticed I tend to push back a little or test… not because I want to win, but more like I need to see if the other person can handle it without losing. And I need someone who is warm, calm and present after, otherwise I know I’ll start feeling bad about myself.
For context, I was married for a long time and my ex never really understood this side of me. I also didn’t fully express it, so I think I kind of ignored it for years.Now I’m trying to understand it better..
Does this sound like submissive or something else?
And what kind of partner would actually fit this?
I’m still figuring this out about myself, so I’d really appreciate advice from people who have more experience with this.