u/LifeguardFar6851

Just wondering how many of you wouldn't mind dating a chub.

I want to know from people who aren't chub chasers.

🙃 PS : my question is more like would you be able to look beyond that.

It's literally like I am Cursed by someone.

However hard I try, whatever I do, Love never finds me.

My heart starts loving someone only when I get signals from them. But, if the other person has like a bucket of love, I give them an ocean. My love keeps consuming me.

First guy I fell for at a young age was my straight best friend.

Next guy, he was the one who initiated the conversation. Eventually turns out to be Asexual. I still continued giving him love but it obviously didn't work.

Then I fell in love with a straight married man. He's my mentor/boss at work. I kept loving him silently. I tried to be his good mentee. Which actually did good for my career and then eventually it became a platonic love. He then became my supportive ally.

After like a decade I fell in love with this guy and he just leaves me with worst heart break.

Does he love me ? I think yes. He just responded " I love you but I can't say it to you" when he is drunk. and when sober he wouldnt agree. He keep saying I am attached to you. I like you. But then we can't be life partners, we can't be friends, we can't be boyfriends, we can't be fwbs, all we can be is Chat buddies. We had a bad argument and I just have to let him go because eventually it became toxic for both of us. I am trying to beg him for love, he was trying to dodge it. He eventually became mean and said things like I am desperate and then he even said worse stuff even though I was pleading him not to say harsh things, try to calm down. He then brought up things I said in the past and said "this is the taste of your own medicine". All night we just had this exchange. We both are exhausted. I had to just block him as I felt there's no point. This is not the person I loved and even if I cross all the hurdles he will still have disagreements and he would never cross his rigid lines for anyone. So I have to finally block him with a heavy heart.

But then, man it hurts real bad.

There was one person who wanted to move to my city and date me and then he loses his limb in accident and drops the plan.

This is where I hate being gay and envy straight men.

Cause girls. They bring abundance into your life, they give a purpose, they given them babies.

But men, they don't even know what they want. All they know is fuk your brains and then leave you. If you show them a diamond they will throw it away and pick a stone.

Everyone I love eventually gives me pain.

All I want is to experience a healthy relationship but then it never comes to my life.