Could any providers give me any insight or information about a topic I want to bring up with someone that I’m planning on seeing next month because I am new to this
Please not judge me because I am just going to tell you what I’m in through and trying to describe what I’m looking for in a way that help makes sense to you because I wouldn’t even know what kind of provider to try to find or if this is even considered BDSM, which I have no experience in. I once dated this girl from Canada who is a model. We had a very passionate love life. I would say the best experience ever. She started getting extremely physical with me, pushing me into stuff spitting in my face and talking down to me and turned me on more than I’ve ever been turned on in my entire life. I have PTSD and had an extremely abusive childhood and all the women that were in my life my name anyway you can imagine I am not looking to be rough with a woman or anything like that. If I was trying to explain what would make me happy in my head, it would basically be a woman that completely degraded me spit on me or hit me he would break me down into nothing completely destroying my spirit maybe even be violent with me to the point that I wouldn’t know if I was in danger or not. I know that sounds weird, but the thought of it just thrills me but as the session continues, she will build me up. I was hoping some ladies have thought. I don’t even know what category this is fall into so I’m sorry.