u/LockedFey

After 17 days caged, I tried slapping my balls by hand and with a dildo while scrolling reddit. While my general rule is that I don't get to have any penile stimulation, I think this was, to a degree. It probably was a little bit like a vibe, the movement from quickly slapping my exposed balls, felt good on my useless but by now extremely sensitive nub.

It felt amazing as I started to get closer and closer from it. However I knew I shouldn't be cumming this way. I had to fight for that, remind myself that this was already more than I deserved, that an orgasm like this was very likely to give me that feeling of letdown that keeps me from being a good beta. So I kept edging by beating my balls, kept denying myself. It was addictive to get to edge again. I followed ballbusting hero videos, one after another and kept hitting them harder with a dildo that represented everything my dicklet isn't. The pain was how I paid for allowing myself to edge like this and it slowly grew worse. After multiple hours things started to get really difficult, edging wasn't as easy anymore as the ache in my balls got worse and worse and I eventually stopped when it became too much. It was incredibly frustrating, yet so fitting.

It's two days later now and my balls are still aching when I try to get anywhere close to pleasuring myself like this again. I wasn't sure whether I'd regret that I edged like that, but I don't. It reminded me of what I can't have and punished me right with it. That's why I think plapping is a perfect way to edge for betas. And this beta got just what it deserves: more frustration. Frustration so bad that it makes me writhe.

TLDR: I'm exploring training myself to be a bigger beta, my rules so far are: cold showers only, no penile stimulation and therefore orgasms, preferably locked at all times, anal only after certain durations of being locked, training my nipples daily. I also used body writing and random reminders as ways to keep myself in the headspace. During my first anal reward I tried out double penetration with a Lovense Dolce and a dildo and it basically broke my mind in the best way. Do you have rule recommendations and teases for me?

I’m a wannabe human, sometimes a wannabe man, sometimes a wannabe woman. I’m not a real man and I will never be a real woman. Every day I pretend I’m not an abject beta loser. But that is exactly what I am, and I want to make it worse. What’s better for breaking a mind than denial? Permanent denial that drills my place into my head until there’s nothing left but the locked, frustrated thing I’m supposed to be.

I’ve always loved chastity. I’ve done streaks longer than a month before, but eventually they became much more difficult. Chafing, sometimes weakness. Most attempts died before the three-day mark because I’d cave and edge and cum selfishly. This time was supposed to be different. This time I went deeper.

Cold showers only, since I don’t deserve the same warmth as real people. Written marks on my skin that say what I am: a Pussyfree Beta Bitch, just pretending to be more. Random phone alarms with trigger phrases throughout the day. No penile stimulation. I already feel uncomfortable at the idea of having to perform, of having to fuck someone. Taking my penis away entirely just feel right. Orgasms aren’t for me either, at least not the penile kind. Those just make me greedy again and kill the eagerness to serve, to sink lower and spiral further. Anal and nipple orgasms are different. They’re like my beta orgasms. They don’t let me pretend I’m a real man. But even so, I decided anal would be a rare reward instead of a regular outlet. I struggle with repeated anal anyway, and it’s too easy to take the edge off by fucking myself whenever I want. So now it’s a coupon system: one anal coupon for every locked period I complete. Up to four hours of actual fucking, or up to eight hours of plug-only. One coupon at a time. No banking them and leftover time is wasted.

What I can train properly are my nipples. The new goal is bigger, more sensitive nipples that stay sore and reactive, constant reminders of my place, that make the neediness flare up during the day. I use nipple pumps to make them stand out, brush and clamp them. They get to feel things my cocklet doesn't get anymore. Like my hands on them.

After 7 days I earned my first anal coupon. I decided to spend it on day 8 before the next one started looming. Eventually I will also only earn them after longer chastity durations.

Nipple clamps went on first. I had two screens: one looping loser brainwash, the other showing anal, chastity encouragement, and beta degradation. I started slow with smaller toys, stretching carefully. Then the Lovense Dolce went in, acting like a prostate massager. It felt nice, but was not enough. I decided to try working a smaller dildo in alongside it. The moment both were in almost broke me. My mind went quiet. My entrance felt electric. Involuntary clenches from the intensity were milking precum out of my locked, useless clitdick in thick, continuous leaks. Every squeeze pushed more out.

I stayed like that for a long time, occasionally switching videos on the non-loop screen, while the constant “Loser… fuck you, loser” went on in the background reminding me to keep repeating: "I'm a beta loser". Eventually I stretched for a thicker dildo and ran it together with the Dolce again. Double-penetrated, watching other locked betas get used, watching real men and women fuck. This is the correct version of everything for me: humiliating, degrading, no easy pleasure, and always more frustration. I’m meant to be frustrated.

I kept hoping for a proper anal orgasm. What I got felt incredible but never tipped over into a satisfying release of any kind. My hole felt so well used as the night already started turning into morning. I felt how it got sore yet I wasn't ready to stop. I switched to just the thicker dildo for a while and simply fucked myself, every thrust feeling intense but still not enough or maybe just too intense after all. My soft little clit in its cage twitched with jealousy at every real dick getting touched on screen.

When I finally stopped and moved around to clean up, my precum-slicked dicklet slid inside its confinement with each step, feeling like I was pathetically fucking something. The only thing a beta like me should ever get to fuck: its own cage. However one day an inverted cage will turn even that around.

I stepped into another cold shower, trying to remind myself that all those thoughts about fucking are not for me. That I don't get what real humans do.

I'm left very frustrated, constantly battling thoughts of wanting to touch for real, knowing how good it would feel. All I deserve is more frustration and that's definitely something I got.

What are your thoughts? I hope you enjoyed the read. Am I on the right track? What would you recommend for me to go further? Have you tried something similar? Further degradation is welcome.