u/Much_Application2740

I can’t ask if he wants to be pegged, that’s not dominant enough or doesn’t set the right mood I suppose.
Fine.
So today I asked if he had gone #2 ( because he’s quite particular about being completely empty), the reply was not as much as preferred. As he is waiting for the baby to be out for a nap , I say that I had wanted to fuck him last night, he says “ oh why didn’t you tell me”, I said oh not in the evening, as I was awake with the baby in the middle of the night. I can see that he is not really excited about it but I figured we’d talk about after.
We have fun and afterwards I ask what had been wrong.
To which he says “ the way you went about it. What if I asked you if your period is over? Like I just want you for sex and without caressing you and telling you I want you.” To which I replied “ yeah that would be ok with me because it’s a one off question not the whole time. Am supposed to caress you and ask you if you have gone #2?!” Mega sexy. Or are you excepting me to just say, bend over I want to fuck you?”I never seem to initiate the way you want, I’m not a robot for you to script my interactions nor am I a porn Domme”. I’ve already stopped asking you if you want to be pegged and now even checking if you are clean enough is an issue too?”
Anyway, I was upset and hurt and told him that this is really undermining my self esteem as a Domme. As much as I want to get the mood right, it would be nice for him to stop nitpicking all the time or try to choose a better time to address this but his face totally gave him away.
As usual, am I fussing over nothing?

Edit: we use the #2 language frequently. Perhaps it should be done away with but it isn’t associated with a mood killer for us.

My sub and I seem to have different definitions of what initiating sex means. This week I shaved myself and sent him some photos while he was at work and told him to go to the bathroom and have two edges to it. Night time came and nothing happened even though I asked if he liked it.
Sent him a video of me masturbating the next day and nothing.
At night yesterday we started making out, which with a baby has been leading to some couch fun and has been working for us but then it lead to nothing.
Today I asked him if he hasn’t been horny and he said no but that if I had initiated he would be game.
If he was horny then those same “hints” would have been all it took but now he is saying that what I do is not initiating and that once more it’s back on him to initiate.
I was under the impression that leaving the door open for someone to choose to go through is part of initiating. Different people, different methods, no?
TLDR: he doesn’t consider what I do as initiating.