u/Nepo-Porn-Scripter

Summary: You found a book in the library with instructions to summon a lust demon which you intend to send to distract your rival from their studies. This succubus, however, has other ideas.

Hi guys, [FSub] is a first for me so I hope I wrote it well! It was probably the quickest to write of all my scripts but also the one I have put the work into editing so I hope that it has paid off. I love when the listener's hubris is brought tumbling down so I thought I'd put my own spin on a GWA classic, the succubus. When she turns the tables, she becomes so supernaturally alluring that the listener cannot fail to succumb to her every demand. The succubus then takes the fantasies expressed in the JOI and flips them around onto the listener.

Be aware this is a [Rape] script and avoid if you need to. Script here.

As always negative feedback is the most appreciated. I really want to improve my writing and if you don't like something, you can help with that.

I'm writing a script that's gotten to the longish side (over 2k words) and realised there's a decent break point after the listener orgasm as the speaker switches from FSub to FDom. (I seem to have accidentally written an FSub script which I'm extremely surprised I had in me.)

I'd love some perspective on these questions:

1. Performers, if a script is marked as a [Part 1] does that put you off?
2. Listeners, are you okay with the action being interrupted and picking up where it left off?
3. How do people feel generally about part 2s that change the dominance dynamics vs switching mid script?

Edit: I've been thoroughly convinced that the answer is no in this case.

Summary: You have been sent by your father the duke to attempt to woo the princess of the kingdom. She is the King's only child and as such her husband shall rule. You have just embarrassed yourself by stumbling over your words whilst making your introduction at court. You are about to leave for home out of shame when a message bearing the princess's seal arrives—she wants to meet with you. Stranger still, she wants to meet in a room at an inn.

Please let me know what you think. I remember a teacher once told me to not use so many rhetorical questions in my writing.

Thank you u/omgsayitagain for feedback.

Script here.

Script here.

Summary: You have been sent by your father the duke to attempt to woo the princess of the kingdom. She is the King's only child and as such her husband shall rule. You have just embarrassed yourself by stumbling over your words whilst making your introduction at court. You are about to leave for home out of shame when a message bearing the princess's seal arrives—she wants to meet with you. Stranger still, she wants to meet in a room at an inn.

I don't think this needs a dubcon/rape tag although oaths would be considered supernaturally binding by the characters but please tell me if you disagree.

I think this is quite an interesting script but maybe not a good one? I tried to really go hard on the medieval feel and that meant using some difficult language and quite a lot of plotty bits. The things I'm most worried about are a loss of momentum for some quite wordy oaths (oaths are wordy!), an overly verbose speaker (princesses are verbose!), and maybe overdoing the daddy stuff (okay I don't have an excuse for this one!) Oh and the formatting, I'm always worried about the formatting.

Any feedback would be most appreciated.