I can't find any nonsexual bdsm spaces
This is gonna be a long post, apologies in advance. I'm a bit of a yapper.
I'm more of a side-line person, I'm mostly in bdsm spaces to learn but I've been having a hard time with that.
I(f23) first learned about bdsm when I was a teenager, didn’t really look into it but didn’t really judge it either. I just knew it was a thing that existed but for obvious reasons stayed out of the community. I wasn’t until I watched this show "Dieing for Sex." about a year ago that my interest peaked. It was a show I could in some ways relate to the main character, about how her journey into finding out what she was into also helps her finding out who she is in general. Then I watched Melanie Rose's "How to Build a Sex Room.", different interviews with people in the scene, found Kat Blaque a wonderful trans creator who talks about the scene as well as other things. Safe to say I got really interested in learning about different parts of bdsm.
I've kind of hit a wall though. I often hear that bdsm is inherently non sexual but anytime I try to find resources discussing the bdsm space to learn more I only ever find porn related content. I'm obviously not trying to say that how people post bdsm content needs to change, I mean it's a cow farm there's gonna be cows outside, but it does make it feel difficult to find the content I want. To explain, I have a past with sa and since have been very disconnected with the more sexual part of myself and what I enjoy.
When I actually started learning about bdsm I thought it would be a good way to learn more about myself and what I enjoy because I always heard that bdsm is inherently nonsexual. I would find what I like in a space that takes pride in full clear consent, no sex involved. But then I go to forems and find hash tags and go to fetlife and I find nothing really more than porn and strangers in my dm trying to be my new dom. I mean it took me this long to find a place for purely discussing bdsm.
There are things I would really like to learn about and get into like bondage, specifically shibari. I think the art of it is so beautiful, turning people into statuses, but when I look for resources about it I only find sexual content. I want to go to events and munches and connect with actual people in the scene but will I be accepted there if I'm not fully in it for the sexual aspects? Why is there little to no places and spaces for non sexual parts of bdsm?