Feels like my crush is “simping” for another guy
So just a general overview that I (24m) am basically infatuated with a close friend of mine (23f). She knows that I have really strong feelings for her, but we both have a firm understanding that she sees me as more of a friend so yes, like many here, I’m in the friendzone. Sometimes when it is just me and her, she shows me just enough romantic interest to make me think I might have a chance, but that’s a story for another day.
She has been casually hooking up with this guy “Doug” on and off for several weeks. He is loosely on the fringe of our friend group. I always thought he was an asshole, but my crush and Doug hit it off right away.
It’s annoying because he isn’t even particularly nice to her, and I have heard him say several comments when it is just the guys about her. He said to the guys he is happy to “fuck her because she has perfect tits but would never date her because she can be annoying” which is so fucked up and she is far from annoying. She just has opinions on certain things. Then on another occasion made a comment about how she’s a bad kisser and was saying he doesn’t even always fuck her and will have her come over just to “titty-fuck” her. He literally talks like a caveman and it’s like, if you really found her annoying or a bad kisser, then stop hooking up with her, asshole!!
Like he will literally talk about her like that, and he knows that I am super close with her so it’s not like he cares if it gets back to her. He’s just a total dickhead a lot of the time and tries to act cool.
The funny thing is I see her as such a confident and alpha-type energy. She is so smart and quick-witted and never takes any bullshit. But with him, it’s like she loses all self-respect or something.
Last weekend we made last second plans to hang out and grab dinner on saturday and grab drinks. Not uncommon for us, especially because I like to treat us to fun little outings like that, but she called me at like 7 to make plans for dinner and drinks at 8. Pretty last second even for us.
Well it turns out her and Doug had plans to hang out but he cancelled last second because the guys were getting together. So she is telling me this, and after a few drinks she tells me she sent him a nudie right before she left for dinner with me so he could “see what he’s missing”. In my head I was screaming because he was not being considerate of her at ALL, and then she is practically rewarding him by sending him a sexy picture of her chest!
Like, he’s not going to think he made a mistake when getting that pic, he is just going to think he has no repercussions of cancelling last second and that he has her on the line whenever he wants. Plus, knowing him he likely showed the guys he was with to laugh with them and show them her private pic!
I tried to make a small comment about it being annoying he cancelled last second and when she pushed back a little I immediately just caved and made a generic comment about how annoying all guys are and he is lucky to get to spend any time with her at all. I made sure to highlight that even going on the date as friends was the highlight of my week, because I wanted her to feel special and make sure she knows she is always a priority for me. I also of course paid for everything the entire night including insisting on covering her uber home.
Well I found out today that she literally went over to his apartment the FOLLOWING MORNING. That sunday they woke up and were texting about her pic and he told her to come over and she did!
I only found out about it because we had made plans to get brunch that sunday, but when I reached out that morning she ignored my texts when I asked to meet up. Nothing alarming there because sometimes she ignores my texts if she’s busy or something. But later in the day I checked back in and asked if she did anything else and she said she went over to Doug’s place!!!! And then as she was venting to me about stuff with him, she said she put in all this effort to get showered and look nice even though she was hung over after our “date” together, and she said he put in no effort and didn’t even shower or clean up before she got there.
But she still goes to him and hooks up with him, and complains to me after. Sometimes I wish I could just shake her and get her over this asshole guy phase, but it’s hard because it’s what she thinks she wants right now, so I’m kinda waiting on the sidelines until she wants me again.