Wife is interested, almost.
My wife (50f) and I (51m) have been talking about opening our relationship for quite a while now. I am the one that instigated it. After a longtime I finally opened up to her about wanting to share her with another man, and more specifically watch her with another man. Whilst initially reluctant, she has come around to it.
We both came out of a high control religious upbringing, so post that there has been a lot to navigate in just our sex life. So at first this next step was a pretty big jump for both of us. Me firstly admitting my kink and her coming to terms with it.
I knew it was a big step so I took it very slowly and have reassured her, that whether she says yes or no, we are ok. Even admitting early on that even though I wanted it to happen. I wasn’t confident that it would ever happen.
Initially she struggled with what I assume are the usual things:
- I wanted her to do this so I can sleep with other women. No interest for me.
- It was cheating. Not how I view it.
- it would damage our relationship.
I assured her that none of that was true, except for potentially the last one, but boundaries would be put in place to minimise that.
So now she is open to it, but still has one big concern. Her body image. She doesn’t think anyone would want to have sex with her. Her body image is something she has struggled with her whole life and all through our marriage (21years).
Even though I constantly tell her that she looks great, try to encourage her in this area and her body image is better now than when we first got married, it’s still a thing for her. When I tell her I think she is sexy, or a hot MILF, her response is, you have to say that. You’re my husband.
So, I guess I am looking for advice on how to navigate this. Even though I love her so much and find her attractive. The last thing I want is to try this and it makes her feel worse or even more self conscious.
But, I feel if I can help her do this, that it will do wonders for confidence. Is this likely? Or am I going to make this worse?